


What's Lost is Finally Found

by dazzamre



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Parenthood, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-20
Updated: 2011-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-14 22:19:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 64,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dazzamre/pseuds/dazzamre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <div class="center">
<br/><img/></div><p>When Kris enrolled his daughter in a summer theater program, he only intended to help her come out of her shell. It didn't even occur to him that it might change <i>his</i> life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to dreamerren, balloons, and norosegarden for the beta. Title taken from Chris Mann’s [Falling Awake](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vIp63iFa7U).

Kris Allen paused as he felt a tug on his hand, stopping in the hallway to kneel down in front of his daughter and smile reassuringly at her. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” he asked, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Aren’t you excited?”

Madelyn shook her head and frowned at him. “I don’t want to go,” she said softly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight. Kris sighed and stood up, taking her with him. “Can’t we just go home, Daddy?” she asked, her head lying on his shoulder. She sounded so tiny and scared that all Kris wanted to do was turn around and walk out of this building and do whatever she wanted, but he couldn’t do that.

“Maddie, you’re going to have so much fun, and I’m not going anywhere if you don’t want me to, okay? I’ll be right here,” Kris told her quietly, smiling over her head at a sympathetic mother that was dragging an equally reluctant child into the auditorium down the hall. “Now, do you want me to tote you or are you going to walk like a big girl?”

She sniffled and finally raised her head to look at him. “I’ll walk,” she whispered, wiping at her eyes as he put her back down on the floor. She reached up to wrap her hand around his and bravely followed as he started walking again.

Kris looked around as they entered the auditorium. There were small groups of parents and children scattered throughout the room. Most of them were chatting like old friends, although he saw a few nervous-looking parents toward the front that he figured must be new, too. There were a few teenagers gathered at the back wearing matching t-shirts that he decided had to be camp staff.

As he and Maddie made their way to the front, a tall man with dark hair jumped on the stage. He clapped his hands loudly and grinned as everyone in the room turned their attention to him. Kris watched him closely as he settled into an aisle seat near the front and picked Maddie up to sit in his lap.

The man looked around to make sure he had everyone's attention, waving back at a few kids who waved at him. He reached up to brush his hair off his face as he scanned the audience. Kris was impressed with the authority he commanded, without the need for yelling or hushing the kids. They all seemed to just naturally want to listen to him.

“Hey, everybody,” the man called into the microphone he was holding. “For those of you who don’t know, I’m Adam Lambert, the camp director. I want to welcome everybody to another great year. If you’ve been here before, I’m gonna let you go out front with Allison. She’ll make sure you’re all in the right group. We’ve got a ton of cool things planned this year, and we’re going to have a great time! I’m going to be around to see all of you guys today, so be good and have fun.”

Adam dismissed the kids by grade level, sending the first group of kindergartners out with a pretty redhead that they all seemed to know given the way they swarmed her. He waited until the last group of fifth graders left and then looked around the room. “Can everyone move closer to the front?” he asked before sitting down on the edge of the stage, his feet dangling off the side, and turning the microphone off and laying it next to him. The group filled in the spaces that had been left, and when they were all seated again, Adam smiled. “Thanks. Okay, there’s just a few things I need to go over.”

Kris tried to listen as he went over the camp rules, obligatory, standard rules - the same sort that Kris enforced in his own classroom, but he was distracted by the soft cadence of Adam's voice, quieter now that there were fewer of them in the room, and the way he grinned every time the kids laughed at something he said. Kris found himself smiling, too, drawn in by Adam's easy charm and relaxed demeanor.

Maddie was starting to fidget in his lap a little when he finally came to a close. “Parents, if you have any questions or concerns during the camp, feel free to talk to me or any staff member. We’ll do our best to answer your questions and ease your mind, okay? Great, I’m going to send you guys to your groups now.”

Adam sent each group off by grade with a staff member until there were only a handful of four and five-year-olds left in the auditorium with him. “Okay, if everybody will follow me, I’ll take you to your classroom,” he said. Kris tried to stand up, but Maddie was clinging to him again, whimpering softly.

“I don’t want to go, Daddy,” she told him, burying her face against his neck. Kris ran his hand soothingly over her back and shushed her gently. He knew this was exactly the reason she needed to be here. When he’d voiced his concerns about how shy and withdrawn his daughter had become to his friend, and school guidance counselor, Megan, she’d told him about this children’s theater camp run by her friend Adam. She’d said it had worked wonders for other kids she’d sent there, and Kris had called the next day to sign her up.

“Maddie, come on,” he said quietly. He looked up to see Adam watching them, his eyes kind and understanding as he walked toward them. Kris sighed. He didn’t want to cause a scene, but at this point, he’d take any help he could get.

“You don’t look very happy,” Adam said, frowning. “Don’t you want to stay here and have fun with us?” Maddie raised her head just enough to look at him cautiously. “Will you at least let me take you to your classroom, so you can meet Allison? She’s got all sorts of fun things for you to do today. I think,” he said, lowering his voice as if he were telling her a secret, “that everyone is going to pretend to be their favorite Disney character today.”

Her eyes seemed to sparkle a little at that, and Kris grinned. “Did you hear that? You get to be Ariel today. Doesn’t that sound like fun?” She reluctantly nodded, but didn’t say anything. Kris bit back a sigh and climbed to his feet, carrying her as he followed Adam out of the room.

~*~*~*~

A half-hour later, Maddie had pretty much forgotten he was in the room. She was playing with another little girl pretending to be Jasmine from _Aladdin_ and a boy that was some sort of animal, but Kris hadn’t decided exactly what yet. He slipped out of the room to get some water down the hall, leaning over the short fountain and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when he stood up.

“How’s it going?” a voice asked behind him, and Kris jerked his head around to find Adam leaning against the wall, looking amused. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Is she doing okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. Thanks,” Kris said, glancing back in the direction of the classroom, knowing he should get back, but finding himself wanting to talk a little bit longer with Adam. He hesitated, torn between excusing himself or lingering in the hall, when Adam spoke up again.

“You’re Megan’s friend, right? Kris?” he asked, starting down the hall and motioning for Kris to follow him. He slipped out a side door and sat down on a bench bolted to the concrete just outside the exit, leaving Kris no choice but to sit beside him. “When we talked on the phone, you said something about wanting to help your daughter get over her shyness. What’s the problem exactly?”

It had been over a month since Kris had talked to him. He'd practically forgotten the conversation and certainly hadn't connected Adam with the voice on the phone. He knew Adam must talk to tons of parents and was surprised that he remembered him.

“Well, she’s starting school this year, and the staff at her daycare said that she’s been really quiet recently, playing by herself and not really interacting with the other kids. It’s been a difficult year for her,” Kris admitted softly, looking away from Adam as he spoke. “She’s been going back and forth between me and my ex. I know it hasn’t been easy for her.” Kris wasn’t sure why he was telling all of this to a perfect stranger, but Adam just nodded as he talked, listening intently. “Megan thought this might help her.”

“That’s tough,” Adam said at last. “It doesn’t work for everybody, but I’ve seen kids who wouldn’t say two words the first day absolutely love this program. That’s why we have so few openings every year. Most of the kids who start young stay with it until we kick them out. Every child is different, but my experience is that the theater really helps most of them overcome their shyness. You made it out of the room, that’s a start,” Adam laughed. “Some parents don’t make it that far the first day.”

Kris wasn’t sure what it was about Adam’s words that made him feel better, it was almost exactly what Megan had told him, but Kris suddenly felt a lot less anxious about sending Maddie to the camp. He had hoped this would work, but he was really grasping at straws. Now he felt a little more confident that it would help her. “She’s usually not that clingy,” Kris said, shaking his head, “But school just ended, so I’m around more, and she hasn’t really wanted to let me out of her sight.”

“What do you teach again?” Adam asked.

“Music,” Kris told him with a grin. “There’s nothing quite like the sound of twenty second graders playing recorders.”

“Hey, there are some days I’d trade my high school classes for them in a heartbeat,” Adam said making a face. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but were we like that when we were teenagers? Everything is so _serious_. I just want to tell them sometimes, you know, you‘re fifteen, you don‘t have any _idea_ yet. I know they‘re taking drama, but still…” Adam trailed off, and Kris laughed.

“I should probably get back inside,” Kris said at last after a couple of seconds of silence. He didn‘t want to go. He really just wanted to sit out here and talk to Adam for the rest of the day. There was something about Adam that just made him feel instantly comfortable. Kris couldn‘t quite put his finger on it, but it was nice. It was something he hadn‘t felt in a long time. “Don’t want to undo any progress we’ve made.” He climbed to his feet, and Adam followed.

“Yeah, I’ve probably hidden out here for as long as I can. There’s bound to be some crisis and someone looking for me,” Adam sighed. “Thanks for the company, though. And I’m really glad you signed Maddie up for this. I think it’ll be a good experience for her.”

“I hope so,” Kris said, reaching the door first and holding it open. Adam nodded his thanks, and they walked down the hall side by side in silence until Kris reached Maddie’s classroom. “I’ll see you around,” Kris said with a smile.

“Yeah, see ya,” Adam told him, starting down the hall. Kris watched until he turned the corner out of sight. Adam intrigued him, and he found that he was looking forward to running into him again during the camp. Kris smiled at the thought. He was pretty sure he’d be spending more time here than he’d originally planned. Kris cracked the door to the classroom and slipped inside, relieved that Maddie had seemingly not noticed his absence.

The rest of the day passed quickly and, aside from a brief moment after lunch, Maddie was perfectly content the rest of the day. Kris was thrilled that she already appeared to be making friends. Allison went out of her way all afternoon to include her in the class activities, and Maddie seemed to like her instantly.

As they walked out of the building, hand-in-hand, Kris glanced down at his daughter, an overwhelming feeling of love washing over him. She looked up at him and smiled. "I get to come back tomorrow, don't I, Daddy?"

"Yeah, you sure do, sweetie," he told her, unlocking the car door and helping her climb into the backseat, fastening her seat belt before getting behind the wheel. Kris felt a slight thrill at the thought of seeing Adam again tomorrow. "How would you like to go to Grandma and Grandpa's tonight for dinner, so you can tell them all about your day?"

Kris watched her in the rear view mirror as she nodded excitedly. He still wasn't used to how quiet their apartment was with just the two of them and going to his parents was a nice distraction for both of them. Kris slowly pulled away from the curb, grabbing his phone and dialing his mom to let her know they were coming.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam shuffled some papers on his desk, finishing up what absolutely had to be done and leaving the rest for Monday. The first week of camp had been a success, and Adam was thrilled that everything had gone off without a hitch. There was still time for problems to crop up, but the first week was always the worst.

He gathered his things and locked the office door, taking a shortcut through the auditorium to the main hallway, which was deserted by now. Adam checked his watch, surprised to find that he'd been holed up in his office for over an hour since camp had ended for the day. Time had really gotten away from him. He left the building, his keys jangling in his hand as he crossed the parking lot to his car.

Across the street was a tiny park, and as Adam looked up, he spotted Kris pushing Maddie on the swing set there. He bypassed his car, glancing up and down the street before jogging across to where they were. "Hey," he smiled. "Looks like you two are having fun."

"Hey," Kris grinned, grabbing the chains to stop the swing when Maddie complained that she wanted to slide. "Don't go any further than that," Kris called to her sternly as she jumped from the swing and ran a few feet away to the slide. "Hey," Kris repeated, sitting down in the seat his daughter had just left, his feet stretched out in front of him dragging on the ground.

The swing next to him was a little higher, but Adam still eyed it warily before giving it a try. He'd seen Kris a few times this week, but they hadn’t really had a chance to talk since Monday. "How's she been doing?" he asked, nodding toward Maddie.

"She's loving camp," Kris told him, relief coloring his words. "Allison told me today that she’s really opening up, playing with the other kids. I can’t tell you how wonderful that is to hear.”

“I’m glad it’s working out,” Adam said, kicking lightly at the ground with the toe of his shoe as the swing swayed a little. He glanced at Kris to find him staring back at him with a smile. Adam ignored the slight flutter in his stomach and focused his attention back on the slide where Maddie was climbing up the ladder. He cleared his throat as he tried to buy a little time to think of something to say. “You guys are here pretty late.”

Kris checked his watch, the irritation showing on his face. “Yeah, I know. We were waiting for…” A car door slammed, and Kris trailed off, leaning forward to look around Adam and frowning. “Speak of the devil. About time.”

Adam followed his gaze, his eyes landing on a man walking towards them. He raised his hand in greeting, calling out an apology as soon as he got close enough “Sorry. I got caught up at work,” he said.

Kris made a noncommittal noise at the back of his throat and called Maddie’s name. She looked at him from the top of the slide and grinned, hurrying down and running across the playground. The other man scooped her up in his arms and smiled at her. “Hey, Maddie May,” he said as she hugged him tightly. “Did you have a good day?” Maddie nodded. “Yeah? I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

Kris stood up from the swing, and Adam followed his lead. “Matt, this is Adam Lambert. He’s the director of the camp Maddie’s going to. Adam, this is Matt Giraud,” Kris wasn’t terse, exactly, but there was definitely an annoyed tone to his voice that Adam had never heard before. “Maddie’s dad.”

His confusion must have shown because Matt quickly added, “Other dad,” to Kris’ introduction as he shifted Maddie to one side and held out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you,” Matt told him. “It sounds like this theater thing is really doing a lot of good.”

Adam noticed Kris’ jaw tighten at his words, but he was having too hard a time wrapping his mind around all of this, so thrown by this sudden development that he couldn’t really focus on tiny details like that right now. “Nice to meet you, too,” he said at last with a nod.

“I hate to run, but we really need to go,” Matt said. “Do you have Maddie’s stuff in the car?”

“Yeah,” Kris told him, handing him his keys. “Go ahead. I’ll be there in just a second.” He waited until Matt and Maddie were on the other side of the street before he turned to Adam. “Do you have a few minutes?” he asked, biting his bottom lip nervously. “I need to tell Maddie bye, but…”

“Yeah, go ahead. I don’t have anywhere to be,” Adam said, grinning as Kris smiled at him, then darted across the street to help move his daughter’s things to Matt’s car. Adam sat back in the swing, watching as Kris put her in the backseat, fastening her in and handing her a stuffed animal he’d had tucked under his arm. He leaned over to kiss the top of her head, smoothing her hair tenderly with his hand before standing up and closing the door. He said something to Matt and waited until he’d pulled away from the school before he returned to the park.

“Thanks for waiting,” Kris told him, sighing as he returned to the swings. He was quiet for a minute as he stared down at his feet, and Adam was beginning to wonder why he’d asked him to stay if he was just going to sit there and not say anything. "So, that was the ex," he said at last.

"You know when you said ex the other day, I just assumed you meant ex-wife," Adam admitted, unable to deny that he was happy to have been wrong. This was an unexpected, but pleasant development.

Kris shrugged. "I probably would have thought the same thing." The sun was starting to set, casting an orange glow over everything, and the air was cooler now, not cold, but breezy and nice. "Do you want to grab a cup of coffee?" Kris asked him suddenly, twisting in the swing to look at him.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

~*~*~*~

"So, what's the story?" Adam asked twenty minutes later as he sipped his steaming mug of coffee, sitting across from Kris in the dimly lit diner. It was early, and they nearly had the entire place to themselves with only a few other people scattered throughout the restaurant.

"About what? Me and Matt? Maddie? All of it?" he asked with a wry grin, raising his eyebrows questioningly. Adam nodded, and Kris laughed, shaking his head. "I don't know where to start." He was quiet for a minute. "I met Matt in college. We were roommates freshman year. By the time we graduated, we'd been together three years."

Adam listened, but didn't say anything. Kris sounded nostalgic as he spoke, a sad fondness in his voice for a time that was gone. "A couple of years later we decided we wanted to adopt, and when we found Maddie everything just fell into place. Things were good for awhile, we were happy, but...I don't know, something changed. Matt started working longer hours, we were fighting all the time - about stupid stuff. It just wasn’t the same. The only thing we could agree on was that we didn't want to raise our daughter like that."

"I get it," Adam told him. "My parents are divorced. They get along much better now than they did when they were married. I kind of wish they‘d figured that out sooner." Kris gave him a small smile and nodded.

"We were young," Kris shrugged, stirring another pack of sugar into his coffee, staring down at the swirling liquid before glancing back up at Adam. "Matt's a good person. He's a fantastic dad, but we wanted different things, and we couldn't get past that. We decided it was better for Maddie for us to be apart and happy rather than together and miserable.”

“You seemed pretty upset with him this afternoon,” Adam commented, watching Kris over the top of his coffee cup. He sighed and shook his head, looking as though he was trying to find the words to explain the situation.

“Even when we were together, Matt could annoy me more than anyone I’ve ever met,” Kris said with a chuckle. “He was really late, and I was afraid he was going to call and cancel, and I’d have to tell Maddie. It’s not his fault, I know his job is demanding sometimes, but you can’t explain that to a five-year-old.”

“What does he do?” Adam asked. Adam had decided the first time he talked to Kris that he liked him, but hearing him speak so graciously about his ex when he could have been disparaging gave Adam a newfound respect for him. He knew people in similar situations that wouldn’t be nearly as kind.

“He’s an architect,” Kris said. “He’s working on some big projects out of town right now, so Maddie hasn’t gotten to spend a lot of time with him lately. She was really looking forward to this weekend. I’m glad he showed up. For Maddie…and for me.”

“So you wouldn’t have to break the news to her?” Adam asked, smiling in understanding as he absently ran his finger around the edge of his nearly empty mug.

“Partly that, yeah,” Kris nodded, looking down at the table before glancing up at Adam. “But I also wanted a chance to talk to you some more.” Kris looked as though he wasn’t sure he should have said that, his gaze shifting away before Adam could reply.

“I’m glad he showed up, too,” Adam answered softly, smiling when Kris looked back at him quickly. Adam searched his face, wanting to make sure that Kris understood exactly what he was saying. Kris’ eyes shimmered and the corner of his mouth curved up into a smile.

“Yeah?” Kris asked. When Adam nodded, Kris gave an embarrassed laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I really suck at this. It’s just been so long.” His finger tapped nervously against the table top, and Adam reached out to cover his hand with his own, stilling the anxious movement. Kris looked down at their hands and then slowly up at Adam.

“Relax,” Adam teased playfully. He let his thumb move back and forth soothingly over the back of Kris’ hand before reluctantly pulling away. “So what are your plans for this weekend?” Adam asked, trying to keep the conversation light and put Kris at ease.

“Nothing much,” Kris said. “A boring day of grocery shopping and cleaning out Maddie’s closet. I’ve got to make room for new school clothes, and it will be a nightmare if I try to do it while she’s there. She‘ll want to keep everything. How about you?”

“I don’t know. I might have dinner plans tomorrow night if you say yes,” Adam said, a slow smile creeping over his face when Kris grinned. His smile lit up his entire face, an openness in his reaction that Adam found refreshing and endearing. “What do you say?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Kris told him with a nod, taking another sip of coffee and smiling into the mug. Adam was glad he’d left late today and had run into Kris. He certainly hadn’t been expecting to end up with a date when he’d crossed the street to the park earlier, but today had just been one surprise after another.

“Great,” Adam echoed. He’d only known Kris a week, but he was looking forward to spending some more time with him and getting to know him better. He came with a lot of baggage, more than Adam was used to dealing with, but there was something about Kris that told Adam it was all worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

Kris couldn’t deny that he was a little nervous as Adam walked him back to his apartment Saturday night after they’d gone to dinner at a small out-of-the-way place Adam had suggested. The food had been fantastic and the restaurant itself had been quiet and intimate. They’d sat there talking long after the other customers had left until, at last, the waiter had politely told them it was past closing time and had asked them to leave.

It was the first actual date Kris had been on since he’d split up with Matt and, as awkward as it could have turned out, he was relieved to find just how easy it was to be with Adam. The conversation had flowed effortlessly, and when they had pulled up in front of his building, Kris hadn’t even really considered what he was saying when he’d invited Adam up to his apartment.

Now, though, as he unlocked the door with Adam standing only a few inches behind him, Kris didn’t know _what_ he had been thinking. The date had been a huge step for him, he definitely wasn’t ready for anything more than that. He liked Adam, a lot, but he was just getting his feet wet again and the last thing he wanted to do was rush into anything.

Kris stepped inside and reached over to flip on the lights, turning around to look at Adam, who was still standing just outside the door, leaning casually against the frame. “I had a really good time tonight,” Adam said softly, taking Kris’ hand and tugging him a little closer.

“So did I,” Kris told him. He bit back his nerves and smiled, turning to go into the apartment. Adam was still holding his hand, though, and didn’t move. Kris glanced over his shoulder, then turned back to face Adam completely at his serious expression. “Are you coming in?” Kris asked. Adam hesitated, then shook his head. Kris frowned, relieved, but strangely disappointed at the same time.

“I'd like to," he said quickly, sensing Kris' mixed emotions, "but I think I should go. There’s no hurry, Kris,” Adam said, his fingers brushing against Kris' neck as he spoke, his hand coming to a rest on his shoulder. “I really walked you up so I could do this.”

His lips touched Kris’ tenderly. There was something new and exciting about this as Kris sighed and leaned into him, parting his lips just enough to give Adam permission to slip past them. The kiss was slow and lingering, and his eyes drifted shut as he felt Adam’s thumb trace along his collar bone to the indention at the base of his throat. Their fingers were still tangled together, Adam’s palm warm and soft against his as he squeezed his hand gently

Finally, Adam backed away, dropping one last quick kiss on Kris’ swollen lips as he did so. Kris blinked his eyes open and glanced up at him, his tongue involuntarily darting out to lick his lips. “Goodnight,” Adam whispered with a smile. “I’ll see you Monday?”

“Yeah,” Kris nodded. “See you then.” He leaned against the door, watching as Adam walked down the hall, stopping at the end to turn back and wave. Kris raised his hand with a grin, finally closing the door when Adam had disappeared. Kris locked the door and kicked off his shoes, collapsing on the couch, feeling happier than he had in ages. This night had been incredible, more than he could have hoped for.

His lips still tingling a little from Adam’s kiss, Kris glanced at the phone, the light on the answering machine blinking red with new messages. He groaned and leaned over to hit play. There was one from Megan wanting to know how his date had gone. He’d seen her at the grocery store this morning, and she’d been almost as excited as him about his date with Adam. Another was from his mother asking him to come to lunch tomorrow. The last two were from Matt, asking where he was and why he wasn’t answering his cell, then assuring him everything was fine.

Kris patted his pocket and frowned as he realized his phone wasn't there. He considered calling Matt but it was late, and Kris didn’t really feel like getting into an argument with him right now. His mood dampened slightly, Kris went to his bedroom and changed into a t-shirt and boxers. He climbed into bed wishing, briefly, that Adam was still here now. He was just reaching over to turn out the lamp when the phone on the nightstand rang. He checked the caller ID and sighed before answering.

“Hey, Matt,” he said, making himself comfortable against his pillows for what was sure to be a long, unpleasant call. Matt wouldn’t call this late unless something was wrong or he was upset. The line was silent for a minute as if Matt hadn’t expected him to answer the phone.

“Hey,” he said at last. “Everything okay? You weren’t answering your cell.”

“I was out. I must have left it in the car,” Kris told him. He didn’t elaborate. He and Matt might get along, but it was absolutely none of his business if Kris was seeing someone. “Is Maddie okay?”

“Yeah, she’s asleep. She just wanted to tell you goodnight.” Matt didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t have to. It was all there in his accusing tone. Kris felt bad that he hadn’t been there to talk to Maddie, but he hadn’t done anything wrong. He wasn’t going to let Matt make him feel guilty.

“I’ll call her in the morning,” Kris promised. “What time are you bringing her back tomorrow? I’m probably going to Mom and Dad’s for lunch, so I won't be back until around 1:30."

"I was thinking around 4:00...if you don't have any other plans," Matt added quickly. Seven years with Matt meant the subtle jab didn't go unnoticed, but Kris tried to ignore it.

"No, I'll be here."

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure. I mean, I didn't know you had plans tonight. If there had been an emergency, I wouldn't have had any way to contact you," Matt said, his words coming out, Kris was sure, harsher than he intended them.

There was some truth to what he was saying which irritated Kris. "Sorry, I didn't realize I had to run all my plans by you first," he told Matt, frowning. Kris didn't want to argue with him, but Matt was pushing it. It was too late, and he was too tired, to try to be polite and let it pass.

"You don't have to get defensive," Matt said. "I don't have to know where you are every minute, or _who_ with, but if Maddie's with me and I need to get in touch with you, I expect to be able to do it. I don't think that's asking too much, Kris."

"It was one time, Matt! It's not like I make a habit of it," Kris said angrily. "I'm there for Maddie, and you know it." Things had gotten tense during their breakup, but Matt had never accused him of being a bad parent. "I'm there a lot more than you are." Kris was sitting up now, both feet on the floor, the hand that wasn't wrapped around the phone, gripping the comforter tightly. He hadn't meant to say that, but he was upset and couldn't take the words back now. There was silence on the other end for a minute.

"That's not fair," Matt said finally, clearly hurt. His voice was quiet, the antagonistic edge gone from it now. "I do my best. I'd move heaven and earth for that little girl."

Kris sighed and flopped back against the mattress. "I know. I know you would. Can we talk about this tomorrow?" Fighting was getting them nowhere, and it would be better if they both took a little time to cool down. "I'll call you in the morning, alright?"

"Yeah, okay," Matt said. Kris murmured his goodbyes and hung up the phone. Arguing with Matt always made him feel lousy. It was a constant reminder of how bad things had gotten before they broke up and just how much things had changed between them.

Things had gotten better since they'd split up. They'd managed to stay friendly and, barring that, at least civil with one another for Maddie's sake. It wasn't always easy, like tonight, but they tried. The phone was still in his hand when it rang again. Kris jerked it up to his ear before it had even stopped ringing. "What now?" he asked, irritated and exasperated.

There was a beat of silence, then Adam's voice came over the phone, a mixture of amusement and worry. "I was just callling to tell you that you left your phone in my car. Bad time?" Kris cringed and dropped his head into his hand.

"Sorry, I thought you were Matt," Kris apologized.

"I get that _all_ the time," Adam told him lightly, but when he spoke again, his voice was serious. "Is everything okay?" His concern was evident, and it tugged at Kris' heart and also made him feel worse for snapping at him the way he had, even though he hadn't meant to.

"Yeah, it's nothing," Kris told him. "So that's where I left my phone, huh? I thought I must have." If Adam realized he was trying to change the subject, he didn't say anything. Kris was thankful for that. He didn't want every conversation he had with Adam to linger on Matt.

"I can bring it by tomorrow if you want," Adam told him.

"I'm going to my parents for lunch. Why don't I just swing by and pick it up?" Kris suggested. "You're practically on the way. Is it okay if I come by around 11:30?" He leaned back against his pillows as Adam assured him that would be fine. "Great."

"I should probably let you get to sleep," Adam said, sounding as though he didn't really want to hang up. Kris smiled, glad that he wasn't the only one. It was late, and he was going to hate it in the morning, but right now just hearing Adam's voice made him feel a lot better.

"Do you have to?" Kris asked, grinning when Adam laughed and told him no. “Good.”

~*~*~*~

"So, you were out late last night," Kim Allen said knowingly, raising her eyebrows at her son as he leaned against the kitchen counter. He didn't know if it was mother's intuition or his constant yawning that gave him away. As much as he didn't want to talk about this with his mother, thinking of last night made him smile.

"Yeah, I guess I was," he said, bending forward to pull open the oven door and peer inside. He took a deep breath and sighed. His mother was an excellent cook and, truthfully, he probably would have been over here today even if she hadn‘t invited him. "Smells good. Is it almost ready?"

"Out with anyone special?" she asked, ignoring him as she searched in the refrigerator for something. Kris knew better than to think he was getting any lunch before he answered her questions. He was just glad she'd sent his dad to the store so they couldn't gang up on him.

"If you're asking me if it was a date, then yes," Kris told her, closing the oven and looking up at her with a grin. "His name's Adam, and he's the director of the theater camp Maddie's going to," he said before she could ask.

"So Maddie knows him, then?" his mother questioned. He knew she thought it was time for him to start dating again, which surprised him. She had been more upset than he was when he and Matt had broken up. But, like him, Maddie was her first priority. "She likes him?"

Kris nodded. "He's not her teacher, but she came home the other day going on and on about something he had done with her class. This camp is doing wonders for her. Every day when I pick her up, she's got two or three friends that she has to go hug bye first. It's amazing, Mama," he told her. “I hoped it would help, but I didn’t expect so much so fast.”

“That’s wonderful, sweetheart,” she smiled. “Now, about this Adam…What’s he like?”

Kris shrugged, at a loss for words. “I don’t know. He’s sweet… and funny. He’s really good at what he does, and he really loves it. You can tell by the way he talks about it. His students mean a lot to him. He’s good with Maddie, and he knows all about Matt and all of that. It hasn’t scared him off yet.”

His mother was looking at him the way only she could, a combination of happiness and concern etched on her face. “You really like him, don’t you?” she asked with a smile. Kris didn’t know how to answer that. They’d only been out once, twice if he counted their impromptu coffee date. He’d only known Adam a week, but the truth was that, yeah, he did like him. He didn’t know if it would lead to anything, but he definitely wanted to give it a chance.


	4. Chapter 4

Adam walked down the hallway of the school Monday morning, stopping to say hi to parents and kids, chatting as casually as he could while keeping one eye out for Kris. He finally made it to Allison’s classroom and stuck his head in the door with a grin. There were a few kids already there, and Allison was busy digging in one of the prop boxes that lined the counter.

“Hey, Alli,” Adam said, leaning against the door. “How’s it going?”

“Peachy,” she muttered, not glancing up from the tub. “I can’t find anything I can use for the skit we’re doing today.” She finally looked at him and grinned. “You’re awfully happy. Good weekend?” she asked raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Adam frowned. He became friends with all of his students, even more so with the ones selected to help with the summer camp, and it was easy to forget that they were students and not _just_ his friends. Especially ones as outgoing and heedless of boundaries as Allison. Adam was open with them and wanted them to know that they could come to him about anything, but there were certain topics that were off-limits and his love life was one of them. Not because he was gay, most of his kids knew that anyway, but because he didn’t think that was appropriate for _any_ teacher to discuss with their students. “I had a good weekend. You?”

Allison shrugged. “It was okay,” she glanced at the kids who were listening to their conversation. “I’ll tell you about it later. Did you want something else? I need to get everything ready.”

“Yeah, I want you and Archie on the stage today, okay?” Adam told her, smiling as she beamed at him. “I think the kids are ready, and they need to get used to being on stage. You and Archie have the most new kids in your groups.”

“Really?” Allison asked, practically bouncing where she stood. “The kids are going to love the stage. I can’t wait. Does Archie know yet?”

“I was just going to tell him. Do you think you two can come up with something for your groups to do together? I know it’s last minute, but…” Adam trailed off as Allison shook her head.

“We’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about it,” she assured him. More kids were starting to arrive now, and Adam needed to go tell Archie before he got started on anything with his students. “Everybody come in and have a seat,” Allison called to the kids. “We’re going to do something a little different today, and I need you all to listen to me so you know what’s going on, okay?”

Leaving the group in her capable hands, Adam turned and ran into Kris. “Whoa, sorry,” Kris grinned, his hand on Adam’s arm as he reached out to keep them from crashing into each other. He bit his bottom lip, his eyes lingering on Adam’s just a little too long before he seemed to remember where he was. Kris cleared his throat and leaned over to give Maddie a quick hug. “Have a good day, sweetie. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Daddy,” she called, running into the room and sitting down on the floor next to another little girl. Kris laughed as they started chatting animatedly, giggling and whispering together.

“I just can’t get over it,” Kris said softly, moving out of the door. Adam smiled, touched by the awe in Kris’ voice. He knew how important this was to Kris, how much he wanted this to help bring Maddie out of her shell, and so far it seemed to be working better than any of them had anticipated. He glanced up at Adam again. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Adam echoed. The hallway was becoming more crowded now as parents and kids hurried in the direction of their classrooms. “I’ve got a couple of things I need to take care of, but…can you meet me in my office? Do you know where it is?” Kris shook his head, and Adam gave him quick directions. “I won’t be long.”

“Okay,” Kris nodded. Adam waited a second as he walked down the hall, making sure Kris went the right way, then hurried to Archie’s classroom to fill him in on the change of plans. He was as enthusiastic as Allison and soon Adam was slipping down the corridor that led to his office. The door was standing open, and he stood in the entrance a second watching Kris as he looked at all the pictures Adam had stuck on the corkboard that covered half of one of his walls. There were pictures from various productions, senior portraits from some of his former students, candid pictures from class or rehearsals, even a few cartoons and magazine clippings that his students had passed along. He hadn’t put them all up. It wasn’t unusual for him to notice new pictures he’d never seen before stuck on the board. As long as they weren’t likely to get his kids, or him, in trouble, he left them up.

“How was lunch with your parents yesterday?” Adam asked, moving into the room and closing the door behind him. Kris leaned against the edge of his desk and made a face.

“I wish Maddie had been there because once my mother found out I’d been on a date she was merciless,” Kris said, trying to sound putout, but his obvious affection for his mother seeped into his voice. “She kept working questions into the conversation when I wasn’t expecting them.”

“I think all mothers do that,” Adam laughed. “The rest of your weekend was okay?” Adam didn’t want to ask outright if he’d worked things out with Matt because he wasn’t sure it was any of his business. Kris obviously hadn’t wanted to talk about it Saturday night, and they’d only had a few minutes together Sunday when Kris had stopped by to pick up his phone. Adam couldn’t get the tone of Kris’ voice out of his head, how upset he had sounded when he’d answered the phone, and even though it was much too soon for him to get protective of Kris, Adam didn’t want him to be hurt like that again.

Kris seemed to understand what he was asking and nodded. “Yeah. It was pretty uneventful. Maddie and I watched a movie and called it an early night. No more…arguments,” Kris said with a weak smile, sitting on the corner of the desk now and glancing down at his shoes.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to,” Adam said softly, inching a little closer until he could take Kris’ hand in his. He ran his thumb soothingly over the back of it until he looked up at him. “I just didn’t like how upset you sounded Saturday. I don’t want you to think that you _can’t_ talk about it with me.”

“I don’t mind talking about Matt. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable or anything. I just don’t think it’s fair to you for me to be talking about my ex all the time. I’d hate it if you did that,” Kris admitted, a slight blush coloring his cheeks.

“Yeah?” Adam asked, amused by Kris‘ confession. “Well, luckily, we only have one ex to contend with and that’s yours,” he told Kris with a smile. “I know it’s complicated because of Maddie, Kris. I know Matt’s always going to be a part of your life. I don’t care.”

“I was sort of afraid you would have come to your senses by now, but I’m really glad you haven’t,” Kris said, tugging on Adam’s hand until they were only a couple of inches apart. Kris’ fingers brushed against his cheek, moving around to the back of his neck to pull Adam’s face down to his.

Kris’ lips were soft under his, and he still tasted like toothpaste. Kris slipped from the desk, evening out some of the height difference, but Adam still had to duck to catch his bottom lip between his teeth. Kris’ hands settled on his shoulders, gripping them tightly as he stretched up into the kiss. Adam bit back a moan as tongue slid against tongue.

“If you’re trying to scare me off, that’s not the way to do it,” Adam murmured into his mouth. He felt Kris smile as he pressed his lips to his again. Adam slipped an arm around his waist, pulling Kris tight against him.

“Hey, Adam, I…Oh, shit, I’m sorry!” Allison squeaked. Adam and Kris untangled themselves quickly, caught by surprise, and Adam cursed under his breath as he turned to look at her. “Sorry, I just had a question, “ she said, looking down at the floor, her hand hovering around her face. It was the most flustered Adam had ever seen her.

“I’ll be there in a minute, Alli,” he told her, rubbing his hand over his face. She nodded and backed out of the room, hurrying down the hall back towards the auditorium. “Well, that was…awkward.”

“God, Adam, I’m sorry. I started it. I shouldn’t have, not here. You’re at _work_ ,” Kris apologized rapidly, his words tumbling over each other so that Adam had a hard time understanding him. He sat back down on the desk and held his head in his hands. He shook his head, still muttering how sorry he was. He finally looked up at Adam. “How much trouble is that going to cause you?”

“Alli? Probably not much,” Adam told him, reaching out tentatively to touch his shoulder. “She probably would have preferred not to walk in on that, but it’s not _that_ big of a deal. Kris, my kids are a lot older than yours. I don’t discuss my personal life with them, but they know I’m gay.”

“I’m still sorry,” Kris told him, his lips turning up at the corner in an embarrassed smile. “I should have kept my hands to myself.” Adam chuckled and pressed his lips to Kris’ again, quickly.

“You never have to apologize for that,” he smiled. “Don’t worry about it. I need to go check in with Alli. Are you going to hang around or do you have to go?” Adam asked, his hand moving up and down Kris’ arm as he spoke, trying to assure him that everything was fine.

“I have a few errands to take care of,” Kris said. “I’ll be back this afternoon.” They left the office together, Kris walking with him until they reached the side entrance to the auditorium. Adam smiled as they paused by the door. He could hear loud singing coming from inside, loud and off-key, but it sounded like the kids were having a blast. He cracked the door open, and he and Kris peered inside. The auditorium was dark except for the lights on stage.

The kids were in two semi-circles around David Archuleta. He’d graduated this year, but was sticking around to help with the camp before heading off to college. He was talented and had been part of the staff since he was a freshman. Adam was really going to miss him next year. “I’ll see you later,” Kris whispered, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze.

“Okay,” Adam nodded, waiting until Kris was halfway up the hall before slipping through the door into the auditorium. He took the steps up to the stage to find Allison pacing around in the wings waiting to talk to him. “Hey, Alli.”

“I am so sorry,” she said quietly, wincing as she looked at him. “I should have knocked instead of just barging into your office like that.”

Adam patted her on the back “It’s okay. Forget about it,” he assured her. Allison seemed relieved that he wasn’t mad at her. With that worry alleviated, a mischievous smile tugged at her lips.

“So you and Mr. Allen, huh? He’s cute.”

Adam shot her a warning look, even though it amused him. Allison was one of his favorite students, and he was glad that she didn’t feel so uncomfortable that she couldn’t joke with him anymore. Regardless, she was a student, and he was _not_ going to talk about this with her. “Allison. Forget about it,” he repeated, his voice low and stern.

“Fine,” she shrugged. “Not another word.”

“Good. Now what was the problem?” Adam asked, glancing out at the kids on stage. Everything seemed to be under control. None of the kids were crying or bleeding, and Adam always considered that a victory unto itself.

“We couldn’t get the lights on, but Archie figured it out,” Allison told him, looking regretful again that she’d bothered him in the first place. “We’re just trying to get the kids used to the different acoustics in here before we get started.”

“Great. I’ll be in and out, okay? I’ll probably watch from the audience for awhile,” Adam told her. Allison nodded, joining the kids and Archie on the stage. Adam watched backstage for a minute before leaving quietly to check on the rest of the classes.


	5. Chapter 5

Kris leaned against the metal gate watching the carousel as it went around and around, waving at Maddie each time she went by. She’d had a great two weeks at camp, and when Kris had seen the carnival setting up this morning on his way to the library to drop off some books, he’d thought it would be a nice treat for her. He was so proud of Maddie and how well she was doing that he could barely talk about it without getting all choked up. She was having a great time, and Kris was glad he’d decided to bring her.

“Here you go,” Adam said, joining him at the gate and handing him a bag of popcorn. He’d invited Adam along on a whim, not sure if he’d even want to go, but Adam had grinned and nodded enthusiastically, telling him he couldn’t wait to go on the tilt-a-whirl.

Kris was content; there was no other word for it. Maddie had pouted for a minute when he’d told her that Matt couldn’t go, but when she’d found out that Adam was joining them, she’d cheered up. Kris knew that they interacted at camp, but he wasn’t usually around to see that. Now, though, to see just how well Maddie and Adam got along made him smile.

“Thanks for coming,” Kris said quietly, nudging Adam with his shoulder. “I’ve had a great time, and I know Maddie has to.” It was nice to have someone else there again, nice to be able to glance over Maddie’s head and share a secret, amused smile with someone. He missed that connection, that understanding that made words unnecessary.

“I’ve had fun, too. I haven’t had an excuse to go to one of these in a long time,” Adam admitted. “Well, some of the students talked me into taking them to the state fair last year, but I had to be the adult, you know? It wasn’t quite as much fun when I was trying to keep a bunch of teenagers in check.”

Kris laughed, watching the carousel as it slowed to a stop. Maddie was just in his line of sight, and he bit his lip as he watched her try to climb down from the horse. He was having a hard time letting her grow up and do things on her own, but he was trying. Her horse had stopped low to the ground, and she didn’t have very much trouble getting off of it.

He and Adam waited by the gate with the rest of the parents as the attendant herded them out of the ride. “Daddy! I want to ride again,” Maddie said as he picked her up. “Can I?”

“Maddie, that’s the third time you’ve ridden it,” Kris laughed. “It’s already past your bedtime. We’ve got to go. You’ve got camp tomorrow.” She frowned and pouted, but Kris could tell that she was already getting sleepy because she didn’t put up a fight, just laid her head on his shoulder.

They made their way through the crowded midway towards the parking area. Kris carried Maddie, while Adam walked next to him, his arms full of the small prizes Maddie had won and a decent sized stuffed giraffe he’d managed to win at one of the booths. It was darker away from the bright lights of the carnival, and it took them a few minutes to find Adam’s car. Adam deposited their loot in the trunk while Kris fastened Maddie into the backseat.

Adam was waiting in the driver’s seat by the time Kris finally slipped into the car next to him. They drove across the bumpy field being used for parking, following the maze of cars to the exit, before turning onto the highway. As they drove, Kris reached out in the darkness to find Adam’s hand, tangling their finger’s together. Adam squeezed his hand, glancing at him quickly with a smile before focusing back on the road.

Sooner than he would have liked, the car pulled up in front of his apartment. Maddie had fallen asleep during the ride, and Kris gently picked her up, resting her on his shoulder. Adam gathered their stuff and followed Kris up to the apartment. Shifting Maddie a little, Kris fished his keys out of his pocket, sorting through them to find the right one, and handing them to Adam. He rubbed Maddie’s back as she stirred, waiting patiently for Adam to unlock the door and let them in.

Kris went in first, flipping on the lights. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered, toting Maddie to her bedroom. She barely woke up as he changed her into a night shirt and tucked her into bed. “Sleep tight, sweetie,” he said, kissing her forehead. He waited a minute to make sure she was asleep before he left, pulling the door closed behind him.

Adam had dumped all the things they had won on the coffee table and was sitting on the couch sorting through it. “They never had prizes this cool when I was a kid,” he said, holding up a tiny stuffed monkey. “I always ended up with really lame stuff.”

“Me, too,” Kris grinned, sitting beside him on the sofa. “Of course, it seemed cooler at the time, and I’d still fight with my brother over it. I might not want it, but I sure wasn’t letting him have it.”

“I think you just summed up my entire childhood,” Adam nodded. “I had a great time tonight. Thank you for letting me tag along,” he said quietly, his fingers trailing up Kris’ arm as he spoke.

Kris wanted to melt into the touch, but he couldn’t forget that his daughter was just in the next room. He wasn’t ready to have to explain all of this to her yet. Kris wanted to see where things went with Adam, wanted Maddie to get to know him outside of camp. If he and Adam kept seeing each other, and Kris definitely wanted that, he was going to have to talk to her about it eventually. He just didn’t want to deal with that until he knew where things stood with them. “Adam…”

“I get it,” Adam said, squeezing his shoulder before dropping his hand. “I think you’re a great dad, just so you know. Maddie’s lucky to have you.” Kris wanted to hug him even more then, but he settled for pressing a quick kiss to his lips. He glanced nervously towards Maddie’s room as he leaned back.

“This is all so new to me,” Kris admitted quietly. “I’ve just got to play it by ear. I’m probably going to make tons of mistakes. Be patient with me, okay? I never thought I’d be a single dad having to date again.”

“Well, I never thought I’d be _dating_ a single dad, so…maybe we can just figure it out together?” Adam asked.

“I’d like that,” Kris answered. He felt relieved. Just because Adam knew about Maddie when he’d asked him out, didn’t mean he was prepared to deal with everything that came along with that. So far, Adam had been nothing but wonderful.

Adam cleared his throat and glanced away from Kris. “Well, I should probably be going,” he said at last, hesitating as he finally looked back at Kris. “Do you have plans tomorrow night? Why don’t you come over after Matt picks Maddie up?“ he suggested when Kris shook his head. “I’ll cook.”

“That would be nice,” Kris smiled. “I don’t know what time that’ll be, though. Is that okay?” Kris knew that having a child meant you couldn’t always make concrete plans, that things could change on the spur of the moment. He just hoped Adam would understand that and not get frustrated with him.

“Not a problem. Let’s aim for seven-ish? If you’re going to be any later, you can just give me a call,” Adam told him as he reluctantly climbed to his feet. Kris walked him to the door, following him out into the hall to say goodbye. “Thanks again,” Adam whispered, dipping his head to brush his lips against Kris’. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye,” Kris murmured. He felt like his entire world had been turned upside down, but in the best, most amazing way possible. He slipped back into the apartment, a smile still lingering on his lips. Kris walked across the room and peeked in on Maddie to make sure she was still sleeping. She’d already kicked the covers to the foot of the bed, and he pulled them back over her before going into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

He paused in front of the refrigerator and pulled a strip of pictures out of his pocket from the photo booth at the carnival. He hadn’t had a chance to really look at it earlier, but now he traced his fingers lightly over the black and white images. He and Adam had crammed into the small space, their arms around each other with Maddie between them. In the first three, they were all facing the camera, grinning, but the last one had clearly caught them off-guard.

Kris didn’t need the picture to recall it perfectly. He’d glanced at Adam, surprised to find him looking back at him. Their eyes had locked, a wave of understanding passing between them that he couldn’t put into words. The camera had flashed, breaking the moment, but now Kris had it captured forever on the tiny piece of paper. He smiled and stuck it to the refrigerator with a magnet.

He got the water he’d come into the kitchen for in the first place and went back to the living room. He grabbed the bag of popcorn off the coffee table, but left the rest to deal with tomorrow. He settled in at his desk in the corner. He had emails he’d been putting off answering and bills to pay that had to be dealt with. He’d planned to catch up on everything over the weekend, but it was looking a lot busier than it had a couple of hours ago.

~*~*~*~

“Maddie, where are your sandals?” Kris asked, feeling around under her bed, but coming up empty-handed. He tried to remember if he’d seen them since she’d come back from Matt’s. She’d been wearing sneakers to camp and, besides those, he could only recall her wearing a pair of pink flip-flops his mother had given her. “Did you leave them at Daddy’s?”

“I think so,” she said, sitting on the edge of her bed and kicking her feet. “Can’t I just wear my flip-flops?” Kris sat back on the floor next to her and grinned, tickling the bottom of her feet. “Daddy!” she giggled, falling off the bed and into his arms.

Kris hugged her to him and kissed the top of her head. “Yes, you can wear your flip-flops,” he told her. A knock at the door interrupted them. Kris picked Maddie up and sat her on the bed before climbing to his feet. “Pick out some PJ’s, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Kris left her digging through her pajama drawer as he went to answer the door. He checked the peephole before opening it and letting Matt in. “Hey,” Matt said. “Is Maddie ready?” Things were still a little tense between them after their fight last weekend. They were both walking on eggshells, afraid to inadvertently start another fight. There had been a time when they could have said anything to each other, and Kris couldn’t help but be a little sad. He and Matt hadn’t worked out, but he had been his best friend, and Kris missed that. There were times now when he felt like he hardly knew him anymore.

“We were just finishing packing,” Kris told him. “Come on in. She’s picking out pajamas. Let me go see if I can hurry her along,” he started across the room, then turned back to Matt. “Oh, the doctor called her in some new allergy medicine. It’s on the counter in the kitchen. Can you get it?”

“Yeah, sure,” Matt nodded. Kris offered him a quick smile, then went back into Maddie’s room. “How’s it going, sweetie? Did you decide?” Kris sat on the corner of the bed, leaning over to pull her suitcase next to him.

“I want to wear these and these,” she said, holding up two pairs of completely mix-matched pajamas. Kris bit back a laugh and nodded. If she’d been going to his mother’s he would have made sure they matched, but Matt wouldn’t care any more than he did. Besides, she seemed adamant about it, and if it made her happy, it was okay.

“Fine,” Kris told her. She handed the clothes to him, and he folded them and put them in her suitcase. He zipped it and stood up, toting it with him. “You can bring one stuffed animal, okay? Hurry up and pick it, Daddy’s waiting.”

Kris went back to the living room, frowning when he didn’t see Matt. He dropped Maddie’s bag on the end of the couch and went to the kitchen. “Matt?” he called, pushing the door open. Matt was leaning against the counter, the bottle of medicine in his hand. He glanced up as Kris said his name.

“So, twice a day like the other?” Matt asked, looking back down at the label on the bottle quickly. His voice was short and clipped, the feigned politeness they’d perfected in the last few days gone. “Does it seem to be working any better? I thought we were going to try some sort of nasal spray or something.”

“The doctor wanted to try this first,” Kris answered, thrown by the sudden shift in Matt’s attitude. “Is something wrong?” Kris raised his eyebrows expectantly, waiting for Matt to tell him what the hell had gotten into him.

“Did you guys have fun at the carnival?” Matt asked quietly. Kris was confused until his eyes landed on the picture on the fridge. He’d completely forgotten he’d stuck it there. His confusion quickly changed to annoyance. He had invited Matt to go with them, and he’d been too busy with work. If he thought for one second that Kris was going to apologize for going with Adam, he could think again.

Kris finally looked back at Matt, realizing he wanted an answer. His face was blank, only a tightness around his lips giving away his irritation. Kris took a deep breath, not wanting to get into another argument. “Yeah, we did,” Kris told him. “It was a lot of fun. You should have come.”

“I think it would have been a little crowded,” Matt said flatly.

“Look, if there’s something you want to say, just say it, but this passive aggressive crap you’re pulling needs to stop,” Kris said, trying to keep his voice low so Maddie wouldn’t overhear. “Yeah, Adam went with us to the carnival. Big deal.”

“Are you seeing him?” Matt asked. The bitterness was gone from his voice. Now he sounded resigned, as if he already knew what Kris was going to say. Kris didn’t want to hurt him, but what did Matt expect? They’d decided, together, that it just wasn’t working between them and that they’d be happier apart. Sooner or later one of them was bound to start dating again. It made Kris mad that Matt was acting as if he’d betrayed him in some way.

“Yeah, I am,” Kris said. “Last time I checked, I was single.”

Matt nodded, but didn’t say anything for a minute. “I’m just going to get Maddie and go. I hope you have a good weekend,” he said. His eyes met Kris’ for just a second before he brushed past him into the other room. Kris cursed under his breath and followed him.

“Matt…”

Maddie was in the living room now, holding the giraffe Adam had won last night tightly to her chest, looking up at them with wide eyes. They tried not to fight in front of her, but she’d heard them arguing before and knew when something was wrong. Kris fought back his own emotions and knelt in front of her. “Have fun this weekend, okay?” he said, forcing a smile for her.

“Ready, Maddie?” Matt asked. He’d gathered her things and held his hand out for her to take. She gave Kris a quick hug and kissed his cheek, before wrapping her fingers around Matt’s and letting him lead her to the door. “We’ll see you Sunday,” Matt told him as Kris stood up. They were gone before he could do much more than murmur bye.

Kris sat down on the couch, holding his head in his hands. He wondered if things were ever going to get any easier with Matt. He’d never thought it would be this difficult. Kris ran a hand over his face and checked his watch. He had to leave for Adam’s soon. Part of him just wanted to curl up on the sofa and stay in this weekend, but not if it meant giving up a chance to see Adam. All the arguing and bickering with Matt was worth it to feel that flutter in his chest when Adam kissed him. A slow smile spread across his face at the thought, and Kris climbed from the couch to get ready for his date.


	6. Chapter 6

Adam placed a stack of dirty dishes in the sink, leaving them for later. He washed his hands quickly and dried them on a dish towel, smiling as Kris leaned against the counter next to him. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?” Kris asked. He’d been kind of quiet during dinner, but Adam didn’t want to bring it up. If something was bothering Kris, he wanted him to tell him on his own without any prodding.

Adam's gut instinct was that he'd had another fight with Matt, but if Kris didn't want to talk about it, he couldn't make him. He didn't like how upset he could make Kris, and Adam didn't want to, but he was starting to resent Matt. He knew that if he wanted to be with Kris, he was going to have to accept that Matt was going to be part of their lives and learn to live with it, but Matt upsetting Kris _wasn't_ something that he had to tolerate.

“Nah, I’ll clean it all up later,” Adam said. He leaned over, letting his lips hover over Kris’ for a second before kissing him, giving him a chance to pull back. Kris returned the kiss, his hand sliding up Adam’s arm to toy with the sleeve of his shirt. Adam's lips lingered on his for a minute until Kris turned his head, resting his forehead against Adam's shoulder.

"I don't think there's any place I would rather be right now than here," Kris said quietly. Adam smiled, reaching out to tilt Kris' chin up so that he could look at him. "I mean it," Kris reiterated. "It hasn't been the best day, but just being here, being with you, makes it better."

"Same here," Adam told him, wrapping his arms around Kris’ waist and holding him close for a minute. Usually Maddie was around, and he didn’t have the freedom to do that. Adam understood, and he didn’t blame Kris at all for the boundaries he’d set in place. It was just nice to be able to kiss Kris, to touch him, without worrying about all of that. “So what are your plans for the Fourth? Are you and Maddie coming to Megan’s party?”

“Yeah,” Kris nodded. “You’re going, too, right? It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Adam smiled. “I’ll be there.” He was actually looking forward to it. It would be the first time he and Kris had been anywhere with any of their friends since they’d started dating. Everyone would be there with their families, and it would be nice to be a part of that for once instead of being by himself. “What are your plans for the rest of the weekend?”

“Well, Matt wanted to take Maddie to watch the fireworks, so I’m dropping her off at his place afterwards. Actually, I have a pretty good view of the river from my apartment. I was going to ask if you wanted to come over and watch them there,” Kris answered, a smile tugging at his lips.

“I’d love to,” Adam said. “Come on.” He took Kris’ hand and led him into the living room, grinning when Kris sat next to him on the couch, so close their legs were touching. Kris turned suddenly, his knee pressing against Adam’s thigh, but he didn’t say anything right away. “Everything okay?” Adam asked, touching Kris’ shoulder, relieved when he relaxed a little under his hand.

“I told Matt we were going out tonight,” Kris said, biting his lip. “Wait, I don’t mean going out _tonight_. I mean I told him tonight that we were seeing each other. He saw the carnival pictures and…”

Kris’ silence earlier in the evening made a lot more sense now. “I guess he didn’t take it too well?” Adam asked unnecessarily. “I don’t blame him for being jealous. He was an idiot to let you go.”

Kris frowned at that. “Adam, Matt and I are over. It was over a long time before we admitted it. I’ll always care about him because of Maddie and everything we’ve been through, but…I don’t love him anymore.”

Adam tried not to smile at his declaration. “You really told him we were dating?” Adam asked, strangely touched that Kris would do that when he didn’t have to. He‘d had to have known that it would just create more problems with Matt. “So…are we going steady?” His voice was teasing in an effort to lighten the mood, which had gotten way too serious all of a sudden, but part of Adam sort of liked the idea.

Kris grinned and gave him a playful shove. “Shut up,” he laughed, his smile fading a little as Adam caught his wrist and pulled his hand to his mouth. Adam kissed his thumb, then each finger in turn, letting his lips trail over his palm, his tongue licking across it as he followed one of the creases in his hand.

Kris’ breathing grew shallow, and he shifted closer to Adam unconsciously. He let his fingers trace Adam’s lips, his touch so light it almost tickled. Adam turned his hand and pressed a kiss to the back, his eyes never leaving Kris’ as he leaned in and captured his mouth. Adam gripped his knee, his hand sliding up Kris’ leg, his thumb caressing the inside of his thigh. Kris gasped, his body responding automatically as he arched into the touch.

“Adam,” Kris murmured against his lips. He brought a hand to his chest and gently pushed him away. Adam sighed, but he couldn’t really find it in him to be annoyed with Kris. “Sorry. I just…I haven’t been with anyone since….it’s been awhile. I don‘t think I‘m ready for that.”

Adam tried to rid himself of the image of Matt and Kris that suddenly sprang to his mind. “There’s nothing to apologize for,” he said softly, still holding Kris’ hand between them and giving it a slight squeeze. “I told you we’d figure this out together. I’m not going to lie, Kris. If you’d wanted to sleep with me tonight, I would have been more than willing. I’m not saying that to pressure you,” Adam added in a hurry at Kris’ panicked look. “I just want you to know where I stand.”

“It’s not that I don’t _want_ to,” Kris told him, but Adam cut him off, pressing his lips to his again. Adam smiled as Kris relaxed into the kiss, his fingers tangling in Adam’s hair. It was the most at ease Adam had seen him all night, and it made him glad that they’d talked and laid their cards on the table.

Adam pulled back just enough so that he could look at Kris. He stared into his eyes, the warmth he saw there sending a pleasant shiver up his spine. He didn’t want to rush things with Kris. It was too important that they get it right. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. And in the meantime,” he whispered, his lips almost touching Kris’, “this is pretty nice.”

~*~*~*~

Adam pushed open the door to the diner, glancing over his sunglasses as he looked around, everything in shadows until his eyes adjusted to the dim light in the restaurant. He grinned and leaned over the back of the booth closest to the door. "Morning, beautiful," he said, his voice low and sultry, a hint of laughter seeping through into his words.

Megan turned to look over her shoulder, smiling when she found herself face to face with Adam. "Hey," she said as he slipped into the seat across from her. "I was beginning to think you'd stood me up."

"Never," Adam said shaking his head. "Have you ordered yet?" He picked the menu up from the table and flipped it to the breakfast side, scanning the list even though he knew he'd get the spinach omelet like always. And Megan would get the crepe with fresh fruit. Adam enjoyed their breakfasts together, but he had to admit they were predictable. The waitress stopped at their table, placing two plates in front of them. Adam looked up at Megan and raised his eyebrows.

"I would have expected you to order if you‘d gotten here first," Megan shrugged, her mouth quirking up into a lopsided grin. She waited for the waitress to leave before leaning forward, resting her chin in her hands. "So...have you been out with Kris again?"

Adam nodded as he cut into his food with a fork. "Yeah, a few times. We took Maddie to the carnival Thursday, and we had dinner at my place last night." Megan paused with a bite full of food halfway to her mouth, staring at him.

"Is that why you were late this morning?" she asked, dropping her fork to the plate, her eyes widening and a grin spreading across her face. For a minute, Adam felt like they were back in college on one of their countless two a.m. trips to the all-night diner near campus. "Have you and Kris...?"

"No," he interrupted. “We’re taking it slow.” Adam bit his lip and studied the food on his plate before looking up at her. “I really like him, Meg. I don’t want to screw this up.” Adam doubted he’d be that candid with anyone else, but Megan knew him better that just about anyone. She would have immediately seen through any false bravado or feigned indifference.

“Oh, Adam,” she sighed, reaching across the table and squeezing his hand. “I think you two could be really good for each other.” She beamed at him, and it meant a lot to Adam to know they had her approval.

“Can I ask you something?” Adam asked. He felt weird talking about Kris when he wasn’t here, but Kris was so reluctant to talk about Matt that he hadn’t really been able to get much more out of him after that day at the diner. “How bad was his split from Matt?”

Megan looked at him sympathetically, but shrugged. “I don’t really know. We didn’t really start spending any time together at school until after they’d broken up. I mean, I knew Matt. I’d seen him at faculty Christmas parties and stuff, but Kris didn’t talk about any of that with me. From what I’ve heard, it seemed to be pretty amicable.” Adam nodded, but didn’t say anything. Megan sat back in the booth and crossed her arms. “What’s going on inside that head of yours?”

“I’ve just never been in a situation like this. I like Kris. A _lot_. And I adore Maddie. She’s a really great kid.” Adam hesitated, glancing down at the table, his food completely forgotten. “Do you think I’m getting in over my head? Because part of me is screaming that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but…I can’t help thinking that if I don’t see where this could go, I’m going to regret it. Does that make any sense?” Adam asked.

“I know you, Adam,” Megan said fondly, smiling at him. “And I know you’ll regret something you _don’t_ try a lot more than something you do. Give it a shot. If you don’t, you’ll never know. Kris is a good guy. You deserve someone like him.”

“Thanks, Meg,” Adam said softly. Megan’s words were basically what he wanted to hear. Just a calm assurance from a friend that he was doing the right thing. She would never have said that if she didn’t believe it, though, and it made him feel a little more confident about the whole thing.

“No problem,” she smiled, clearly happy for him. “Now eat your breakfast,” she said suddenly, poking him in the leg with the toe of her shoe under the table. “I’ve got to go shopping for my party next weekend, and you are just the person to help me. Unless you have something else to do?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at him knowingly.

“Kris had plans with his brother. I’m all yours today,” Adam said with a wink, making Megan giggle as she rolled her eyes and shook her head. Adam dug into his food, listening as she rambled on about menus and who she’d invited. As much as he would have liked to see Kris again, Adam found himself looking forward to spending the day with Megan.


	7. Chapter 7

Megan’s driveway was already full of cars by the time Kris turned into it a little before noon Friday. Adam had gone early to help Megan set things up, and Kris pulled to the side and parked by his car. Maddie hadn’t had camp this week because of the holiday, but Kris had still seen or talked to Adam every day. Yesterday they’d camped out in his living room with stacks of catalogues spread over the coffee table while Kris looked for new music to order for his second year band students, and Adam tried to narrow down his selections for the school play. That afternoon they’d taken Maddie to get ice cream and stopped by the park. Kris hadn’t gotten a lot done, and he didn’t think Adam had either, but he didn’t really care. The day had been pretty much perfect as far as he was concerned.

Kris opened Maddie’s door and unbuckled her, helping her climb out of the car. She held onto his hand tightly as they walked to Megan’s front door and rang the bell. Adam opened the door with Megan’s little boy Ryder on his hip. “Hi!” he grinned, letting them in. “Glad you guys are here. Hey, Maddie, I was just taking Ryder out back with the other kids. You want to go with us?” Kris watched her nervously, but she nodded quickly and took Adam’s offered hand. Adam met his gaze with a smile. “We’ll be out back. Meg’s in the kitchen,” Adam called over his shoulder as he took the kids out with him.

He’d only been to Megan’s house a couple of times before, but Kris found the kitchen easily. She was just slipping off two oven mitts and came around the counter with a smile to greet him. “Thanks for coming,” she said, giving him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

“Thanks for inviting us,” Kris told her. He looked around the room. “Anything I can help you with?”

“Nope, I’ve got it all under control. Why don’t you go on out back? Make yourself at home, Kris,” she said, turning back to the stove as a timer started beeping. “Tell everyone it’s almost ready. I won’t be long.”

Kris stepped out on the deck, surveying the group gathered around the long table set up there. Brooke White was sitting at one end with her husband. Brooke would be Maddie’s kindergarten teacher when she started school in the fall. She was the best, and Kris had been able to pull some strings to make sure Maddie got in her class. Lil and Jesse Rounds were next to her, a child in each of their laps, while their oldest daughter Tamia was out in the middle of the yard playing with Maddie and a little boy Kris didn’t recognize. Lil taught fourth grade, and her kids went to the same daycare as Maddie. She smiled and waved at him when she saw him, nodding to the empty seat between her and Adam.

Kris slipped into the chair next to Adam, murmuring a hello to the group. Across from them was the head coach of the high school football team, Michael Sarver. His wife sat next to him, holding their daughter, and Kris guessed the boy playing with Maddie and Tamia was their son. Kris didn’t know him that well, other than the fact that he’d led the team to the state championship game the last two years in a row, but he was surprised to find that he and Adam seemed to be good friends.

Conversation swirled around him on all sides ranging from football to kids to school, and Kris just sat back and listened for a minute, content to be surrounded by friends and relaxed chatter. “So, are you taking Maddie to see the fireworks?” Lil asked. “We’re trying to decide if the kids are old enough to enjoy it.”

“Matt wanted to take Maddie, so she’s going with him,” Kris said quietly, biting back a smile as he felt Adam’s arm slide around him to rest across his shoulders. He glanced at Adam, a little overwhelmed by how happy he felt. “We’ve got other plans.”

“Since when are the two of you a ‘we’?” Lil asked, surprised. “I go out of town for a week, and I miss everything! So how long?” Her daughter was fidgeting in her arms, trying to get down, and Lil put her on the ground, keeping an eye on her as she toddled towards her sister before glancing back at Kris and Adam. “Well?”

“A few weeks,” Kris shrugged, finding it hard to believe that a month ago he hadn’t even known Adam. It kind of felt as though Adam had always been a part of his life. He couldn’t imagine not running into him at camp, though they were both a lot more careful after the incident with Allison, or lying in bed before he went to sleep talking to Adam on the phone.

Lil grinned at him, but before she could say anything, Megan joined them, taking Ryder from Adam and telling them everything was ready. They filed into the house, filling their plates before going back outside. Kris balanced two in his hands, setting his down at the table then settling Maddie on the picnic blanket Megan had laid out for the kids.

The food was wonderful, the company even better, and the afternoon passed quicker than Kris would have liked. The fact that he and Adam were there together seemed to spread pretty quickly, but aside from a few curious glances from time to time, none of their friends said anything. Kris hadn’t expected any less from them, but it was still nice that, as far as they were concerned, he and Adam were just another couple.

Lil and her family were the first to leave, wanting the kids to have a nap before taking them to see the fireworks. Brooke and Coach Sarver followed shortly after until only he and Adam and Maddie were left with Megan and Ryder.

Megan kept the kids occupied while Kris and Adam cleared the table, insisting it was the least they could do after all that she had done. She didn’t argue, just sat down in the middle of the yard with Ryder in her lap, letting Maddie pick the dandelions that were growing throughout the yard and blow them, sending the seeds floating off in the wind.

Kris stood at the kitchen window watching them for a minute, while Adam put up the leftover food and stuck it in the refrigerator. Adam wrapped his arms around him from behind, and Kris smiled, bringing his arms up to cover Adam’s and leaning into him. “Today has been great,” Kris said, turning his head so that Adam could bring their lips together in a soft kiss.

“It’s not over yet,” Adam reminded him. Kris turned in his arms, his hands flat against Adam’s chest as he studied him intently. His fingers brushed over his collar bone, and Kris smiled as he felt Adam shudder under the touch. He stretched up to kiss him again, letting his lips linger on Adam’s.

Kris had been thinking about tonight all day. All _week_. It was obvious to him by now that Adam wasn’t going to change his mind, wasn’t going to suddenly realize how complicated his life was, and run away. He’d had plenty of chances to do that, times that Kris might have done it if he’d been in his shoes, but he hadn’t. It still seemed too good to be true, but as far as he could tell, Adam wasn’t going anywhere.

Kris didn’t want to waste any more time. He didn’t want to be so caught up in the past or so afraid of the future that he forgot to appreciate everything he had right now. He glanced up into Adam’s eyes, still surprised by the warmth and affection he saw there every time he looked at Adam. He took a deep breath, his heart pounding a little, but more out of anticipation than nerves. “Why don’t you stay tonight?”

A lazy smile spread across Adam’s face, but Kris could hear the hesitation in his voice when he spoke. “Yeah?” Adam asked. He touched Kris’ cheek tenderly. “You know I want to…but only if you’re sure.”

Kris turned his head and pressed a kiss to the palm of Adam’s hand. There was so much he wanted to tell Adam. He wanted to explain how moving on had seemed like an impossible task at first. How odd he’d thought it would be to be with anyone but Matt. He wanted to explain the connection he’d felt with Adam from the first time they’d met, and how it was just so easy and natural to be with him. He didn’t think he had the words to express all of that, though. “I’m positive,” he whispered instead.

“Guys!” Megan called, giving them a chance to put a little distance between them before she entered the kitchen, Ryder in her arms and Maddie following closely behind her. “Sorry to interrupt, but we’ve got to have a diaper change,” she said, patting her son on the back. “I didn’t want to leave Maddie outside by herself.”

“We should be going anyway,” Kris told her, taking Maddie‘s hand as she slipped from behind Megan to stand between him and Adam. “Thanks again for inviting us. It was a lot of fun.”

“We’ll have to do it again sometime,” she nodded, giving him a one-armed hug. “Thanks for coming. I‘d walk you out, but…”

“You take care of this little fella,” Adam interrupted her, ruffling Ryder’s hair. “I’ll walk Kris and Maddie out. I need to go, too.” Adam leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Meg. I‘ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Adam let them out, making sure to lock the door behind him, and walked with Kris to where their cars were parked. Adam waited patiently while he fastened Maddie into the backseat. Kris shut the car door and turned to look at Adam with a grin. “So…I’ll see you in a little bit?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there soon,” Adam told him. Kris really wanted to kiss him again, but with Maddie watching them, he settled instead for giving his hand a quick squeeze. Sooner or later he was going to have to explain to her that he and Adam were dating, but Kris still wasn’t sure that she understood why Matt didn’t live with them anymore. She’d had to deal with a lot of change lately and throwing something new at her didn’t seem fair.

Matt had always done better with those delicate conversations than he had. When Maddie had come home from daycare one day and asked why she had two daddies instead of a mommy and daddy, Kris had just sort of stammered and stuttered, while Matt sat her down and explained. Matt had fielded the adoption questions and had been the one to tell Maddie he was moving out. This time, though, Kris was on his own and couldn’t rely on Matt to step in and cover for him when he couldn’t find the right words.

Kris shook his head, not wanting to dwell on all of that right now. He told Adam bye and slipped behind the wheel, starting the car and backing out carefully to avoid Megan’s flower bed. As he drove, Maddie chattered in the backseat, making Kris smile when she asked if Tamia could come over to play some time. He was thrilled that she’d bonded with Lil’s daughter. They were both starting school in the fall, and it would be great if Maddie already had a friend there.

When they were a couple of blocks away, Kris called Matt to let him know they were almost there. Kris spotted him standing on the sidewalk and pulled along the curb next to the apartment building. Kris opened the trunk to let him get Maddie’s things while he took her out of the car. “Daddy, can you come to the fireworks with us?” she asked as Kris knelt down to tie her shoe.

“I can’t, sweetheart,” Kris said, shaking his head.

“Sure you can,” Matt answered, shrugging at him. “I mean, if you wanted to, you could go with us.” He and Matt had barely spoken all week, and Kris recognized it for the peace offering it was, but Matt had picked a lousy time to be civil.

“I would,” Kris said, hesitantly, “but I’ve already made other plans.” He didn’t mention Adam, but given the way Matt’s jaw tightened he didn’t have to. Kris ignored him; he wasn’t going to get into a fight now. “Have fun, Maddie,” he said, kissing her forehead.

Matt slung her bag over his shoulder and took her hand. “We’ll have fun, won’t we, Maddie May?” Matt was smiling, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes as he glanced at Kris. “Maybe next time, huh? See you later,” Matt told him.

Kris stood on the sidewalk, watching until they disappeared inside the building, then slowly got back in his car. He sat there for a minute waiting for the irritation and anger he’d gotten so use to feeling whenever he saw Matt, but it never came. He regretted that he’d disappointed Maddie; he never liked doing that. Matt’s reaction, while annoying, didn't bother Kris as much as it would have a month ago. It was important for them to get along, but Matt's opinion of his social life was irrelevant. It was sort of liberating to realize he didn't care what Matt thought. Kris started the car and pulled away from the curb, smiling to himself as he drove. He glanced at his watch and sped up; Adam would be there soon, and Kris had a stop he needed to make before he went home.


	8. Chapter 8

The sky overhead exploded in a sparkle of blue, red and purple, raining down like glitter and reflecting in the river below. Adam smiled as he felt Kris’ hand settle on his lower back as he leaned into him. “They really went all out this year,” Kris said, raising his voice to be heard over the noise his neighbors were making from the roof. They’d skipped the gathering there, opting to watch the fireworks from the balcony outside Kris’ apartment instead. The view wasn’t quite as good two floors down but it was more intimate, and Adam had spent most of the night watching Kris anyway.

“Yeah,” Adam nodded as another round of fireworks lit up the sky. It really was stunning, and Adam tried to pay attention, but it was difficult with Kris so close. It was hot outside, but he was pretty sure that the sudden flush he felt had more to do with the way Kris was currently pressed against him than with the weather. Kris’ hand slid from his shoulder, across his chest to rest above his heart, and Adam knew he had to feel the way it was pounding under his palm. Kris paused for a second, then his fingers slipped beneath the fabric of the shirt, stroking the skin he found there, his thumb moving back and forth at the base of Adam’s throat.

Adam gave up any pretense of watching the fireworks and turned his head to glance at Kris. The look on his face made Adam’s breath hitch, and he had to remind himself that he needed air. Adam took a step back as Kris shifted in front of him, his hand sliding behind his head and pulling Adam’s lips down to meet his. Adam loved kissing Kris, it had become one of his favorite things to do these last few weeks, but he always felt like Kris was holding back, afraid to let things go too far. Now, as his tongue slipped past Adam’s parted lips, the hesitancy was gone.

Adam rested his hands on Kris’ hips, tugging him toward him until the little bit of space between them was gone. Kris pressed even closer, urging Adam backwards until his back was against the wall of the building. The brick was rough even through his shirt, but Adam didn’t care as Kris traced his bottom lip with his tongue before sucking on it gently. “Kris,” he murmured into his mouth, regretting it immediately as Kris pulled back a centimeter to look up at him.

“I think we should go inside,” Kris said quietly, his voice low and rough. His breathing was a little ragged, and his hands were gripping Adam’s shoulders tightly.

“The fireworks aren’t over,” Adam answered, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile. Kris laughed, burying his face against Adam’s chest before raising his gaze to meet his. There wasn’t very much light on the balcony, but there was enough for Adam to see the gleam in Kris’ eyes, a mixture of humor and desire.

“Fine, stay out here and watch the fireworks,” Kris shrugged, stretching up to peck him lightly on the lips. “I’ll be inside.” Kris slipped back into the apartment, leaving the door cracked open behind him. Adam lasted about ten seconds, just long enough to take a deep breath and let it out, before following. Kris was sitting on the arm of the couch waiting for him, a self-satisfied smile on his face. “Thought so.”

Adam crossed the room until he was standing in front of Kris, his arms folded over his chest as he raised an eyebrow at him. Kris grinned and hooked a finger through a belt loop, pulling him closer until he was standing between Kris' knees. “I need to tell you something.”

Kris sounded serious now, the teasing gone from his voice. Adam frowned and touched his cheek. “What is it?” Adam half expected Kris to tell him he still wasn’t ready. Just because he’d asked him to stay tonight didn’t mean that anything was going to happen. And Adam was okay with that because Kris was worth it.

“When I dropped Maddie off tonight, Matt asked me to go with them. I told him I had other plans, and he got a little upset,” Kris said quietly, looking up at Adam through his eyelashes. Adam couldn’t ignore the flash of guilt he felt. He never wanted to keep Kris from Maddie, never wanted Kris to feel like he had to choose between them. Maddie came first and that was the way it should be.

“I would have understood,” Adam told him, running his fingers through Kris’ hair before dropping his hands to his shoulders. “If you’d gone.”

Kris shook his head. “I wanted to be here. Besides, that’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that it didn’t turn into a fight. It could have, easily, but…for once I didn’t care that Matt was angry with me. It didn’t matter. I mean, obviously it _does_ , but not the way it used to. I just feel like I’ve finally moved on. I feel…free. Does that sound stupid?”

“Of course not,” Adam assured him. “Nothing you feel could ever be stupid.” Adam was touched that Kris trusted him enough to be so open and honest with him. Adam had an overwhelming urge to kiss him again, but he felt like Kris had more to say so he waited patiently for him to go on.

“I don’t think I really let all of that go until I met you,” Kris said softly as he took Adam’s hand and threaded their fingers together. “I thought I had, but…" Kris looked down, watching his thumb as it moved slowly over Adam's wrist. "I know this situation is complicated, and everything may not be perfect, but…if I wait for it to be, if I wait to not have _any_ doubts, I'll be waiting forever. I don‘t want that.” There was a beat of silence as he raised his eyes to meet Adam’s. “I want you.”

Adam couldn’t hold it back any longer. He leaned into Kris, dipping his head to capture his mouth in a long, hard kiss. Adam wrapped an arm around his waist to pull Kris to him, steadying him on the couch arm so that he wouldn’t fall backwards. “I want you, too,” Adam murmured, his lips brushing against Kris’ as he spoke.

Adam took a step back as Kris slipped from the couch. He didn’t say anything, just squeezed Adam’s hand lightly, still holding on to it as he turned and led them to the bedroom. Standing at the foot of the bed, Kris faced him again, his hands trailing up Adam’s arms until they rested on his chest. Adam didn’t see any doubt or uncertainty in Kris’ eyes as he slowly started to unbutton his shirt, his fingers sending a shiver up Adam’s spine when they inadvertently brushed against his skin.

Kris reached out to push the fabric from his arms, pressing a kiss to Adam’s shoulder, his lips sliding down to leave a line of kisses across his collarbone. Adam shuddered as Kris’ tongue darted out to taste his nipple, his mouth closing over it as he sucked gently. Adam’s hands settled on Kris’ hips, pulling him even closer to him, and he let out a low moan when he felt Kris’ erection against his thigh.

Kris moved back just enough to pull his t-shirt over his head, and Adam sat down on the edge of the bed as he watched him. “I guess it would be kind of stupid to ask if you’re sure?” Adam asked, his voice catching just a little. Adam wanted this more than anything, but he had to be one hundred percent sure that _Kris_ was sure. He didn’t want Kris to have any regrets about their first time together.

Instead of answering him, Kris straddled him on the bed, laughing when Adam fell back on the mattress, taking him with him. Kris kissed him again, finally pulling back, breathless, and gazing down at him. “Any more stupid questions?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Adam shook his head, his hands running up and down Kris’ back, his fingers tracing the line of his spine, memorizing the feel of his warm skin and the jut of his shoulder blades. Kris sat back, his knees tight against Adam’s hips, effectively pinning him to the bed. Adam’s hands slid around Kris’ waist to rest on his thighs, his fingers inching upward until he could press his palm to the bulge in his jeans.

Kris groaned and leaned into the touch, burying his face against Adam’s neck, nipping and sucking, his hands tangling in Adam‘s hair. Adam fumbled with the snap on Kris’ pants, finally managing to get them undone and ease the zipper down carefully, pushing the fabric from his hips. He missed the contact as Kris sat up to rid himself of his clothing completely, but then he was leaving a trail of hot kisses down Adam’s chest as he undid his jeans. Adam arched off the bed, helping Kris as he tugged his pants and underwear off, tossing them on the floor.

Adam reached out and touched Kris’ face as he laid back down beside him. He knew Kris hadn’t been with anyone since he and Matt split up and, as much as he didn’t want to think about _that_ , Adam wanted this to be good for him. It hadn’t taken Adam long to figure out that Kris definitely wasn’t the type of person to sleep around and that sex was about much more than just the physical act to him. Adam had had his share of one night stands in the past, but he was older now, wiser, and he’d ceased to find that fulfilling a long time ago. He couldn’t predict what would happen between them, but he did know that he could very easily fall in love with Kris. There was no doubt about that. It scared him a little, but more than anything, it made him want to hold onto Kris and never let go.

Adam sought out Kris’ mouth again, the kiss alternately teasing and demanding, but their lips never far enough apart to break it. Kris’ hand was on his neck, gently stroking with his fingers and sending goose bumps down Adam’s arms. Kris pulled away with a smile, stretching out and lying across Adam, reaching over the side of the bed to the nightstand and opening the drawer. Adam caressed the curve of his ass before settling his hand on Kris’ hip. Kris shifted back onto the bed, dropping the lube and a new pack of condoms next to them on the mattress.

Adam couldn’t ignore the tightening in his chest as he realized that Kris had actually thought this through and planned ahead. It had never crossed Adam’s mind that he _wouldn’t_ have protection, he sort of took it for granted, but Kris and Matt had been together for years. Of course he hadn’t just had some lying around. Adam couldn’t explain why that meant so much to him, but the thought of Kris going into a store to pick the condoms and lube up for _them_ made him ridiculously happy.

Adam wrapped an arm around Kris’ waist and rolled them until he was staring down at him. Their bodies were pressed together, but it wasn’t enough. Adam wanted to touch and taste every inch of bare skin that had finally been revealed to him, and the thing that amazed him most was that there wasn’t any reason he couldn’t. He left a trail of kisses down Kris’ neck and shoulders, his hands following his lips. He went further and further south, purposefully avoiding Kris’ cock, hard against his stomach and begging for his touch. Adam pressed his mouth to the inside of Kris’ thigh, breathing in deeply, the slightly spicy scent of Kris’ cologne mingling with the faintly sweet smell that was distinctly Kris.

“Adam,” he murmured, his fingers twisting in Adam’s hair and making him glance up at him. There was a tinge of desperation in his voice, and it took Adam’s breath away to see just how much Kris wanted this. His eyes never leaving Kris’, Adam felt on the bed next to them until his hand closed around the cool bottle of lube. Adam squeezed some of the substance out, whispering reassuringly to Kris, but he still let out a low hiss as Adam gently prodded him.

Kris took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Adam could feel his body relax and pressed further inside him, rubbing his leg soothingly as he did. Adam took his time, resting his head against Kris’ knee, watching his face as the mild discomfort was replaced by pleasure. Kris’ eyes drifted closed, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth until he gasped out loud as Adam added a second finger. Adam loved the sensation of Kris, tight and warm, around him as he sunk his fingers in deeper, stroking and stretching him. Adam leaned over then, licking up Kris’ cock until he reached the tip, swirling his tongue around it before taking him fully into his mouth.

Kris cried out, and his fingers dug into Adam’s shoulder, gripping it hard as he tried not to thrust up into his mouth. He sucked in earnest for a minute, not enough to make Kris come but until he was writhing beneath him, pleading for more, before letting him fall from his lips as he reached for a condom. He needed two hands for this, and Kris moaned, low and deep in his throat, as he slowly withdrew his fingers. Adam tore the wrapper off, giving his cock a couple of strokes before rolling the condom on.

Adam stretched out over him, covering Kris’ body with his, dropping kissed across his eyes until Kris opened them to look up at him. Holding his gaze, Adam slowly thrust into him, brushing his lips across his as Kris’ let out a silent gasp. Adam struggled to stay still and give Kris a chance to adjust. He didn’t want to rush this, but it was difficult when Kris felt so good under him, around him. Their legs tangled together, Kris’ calves pressed against the backs of his thighs, and Adam threaded their fingers together, pinning Kris’ hands over his head as he kissed him again. He poured everything he had into the kiss, rewarded with a whimper from Kris, and his hips rising from the mattress to demand more.

Adam finally started to move then, rolling his hips experimentally. Kris arched into him, muttering incoherently as he pulled his hands free to scratch at Adam’s back, clinging to him. Kris raised his head from the pillow, licking along Adam’s jaw line until he caught his earlobe between his teeth. “Harder,” he breathed next to his ear.

Adam lost whatever composure he’d had left at the request, slamming into Kris over and over until they were both panting, a fine sheen of sweat covering their bodies. Kris’ skin tasted salty as Adam’s mouth moved over his shoulders and neck, along his collarbone and sucking at a spot just below his ear. “God, Kris,” Adam murmured, raising himself slightly on his arms when Kris slipped an arm between them.

Watching as Kris gripped his cock, Adam doubled his efforts, thrusting faster, matching Kris’ tempo. Kris cried out, come coating his stomach in spurts as he jerked himself off. Adam pressed his forehead to his shoulder, his eyes squeezed shut as Kris tightened around him in spasms. He gave one final thrust and came with a grunt, turning his head to burying his face in Kris’ neck before collapsing on top of him.

Kris raised a shaky hand to the back of his head, his fingers running through Adam’s hair as he brought their mouths together again. Adam pulled back just enough so that he could look at Kris. His cheeks were flushed, his lips swollen, and his eyes shining with an emotion that Adam couldn’t quite pinpoint. He touched Adam’s face tenderly, smiling at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Kris just shook his head and kissed him again, trying to convey what he was feeling without speaking .

Adam knew they’d have to untangle from each other soon, but in this moment, as their racing hearts slowed and their breathing returned to normal, Adam knew without a doubt that he was the happiest he’d ever been. And he was going to do whatever he had to, to hold onto that feeling.


	9. Chapter 9

Kris propped up on his elbows, resting his chin in his hands as he watched Adam sleep. His lips were slightly parted, one arm tossed haphazardly over his head. Kris noticed the steady rise and fall of Adam's chest, resisting the urge to actually reach out and feel the movement under his hand. Adam looked so peaceful that he didn't want to risk waking him up and, a little more selfishly, he didn’t want to interrupt this rare chance to just look at Adam unobserved.

Kris' eyes traced the line of freckles that dotted Adam's nose and the edge of his lips, spreading across his shoulders and down his arms. They went further Kris knew, but he couldn't see them with the sheet draped low across his waist. They’d spent last night discovering each other, exploring every inch of skin, and finding out just what it took to make the other gasp in pleasure.

Right now, every kiss, every touch was a new revelation. He knew now that there was a spot just below Adam’s ear that drove him crazy if he licked it. And, even though he wasn’t very ticklish, if Kris so much as brushed the back of his knee, Adam would dissolve into laughter. It had been a long time since Kris had experienced this early glow of a relationship where everything was new and exciting, and you could spend hours talking or kissing or doing absolutely _nothing_ as long as you were together.

Kris had been nervous. He could barely remember the last time he’d been with anyone other than Matt, but Adam had taken it slow. He’d never pushed or rushed him, letting Kris control how fast and how far they went. Kris was glad that he hadn’t let his nerves get the best of him because he would have missed out on an amazing night. It wasn’t just great sex, though it had been _great_ , but it was something deeper than that, more intimate.

Last night, lying in bed next to Adam, hip to hip, his arm thrown across Adam’s chest and Adam’s hand warm on his back, Kris had felt safe. Adam made him feel a _lot_ of things, but that was the one that had taken him by surprise the most. After everything he’d been through, he wasn’t sure another person could ever make him feel that way again. He wasn’t sure he’d wanted anyone to, but that was before he’d met Adam.

Kris had never really experienced anything like this before. He and Matt had been so young, and the first year they were together had been tough. Kris had been at a completely different point in his life. He hadn’t come out to his family yet, only a few of his friends knew. He hadn’t been able to enjoy those first few months the way he should have. He had grown and changed a lot since then. Kris was a lot more comfortable in his own skin now, a lot more confident in his decisions. He knew what he wanted, and life was too short not to go after it.

Adam stirred next to him, his eyes blinking open slowly. He smiled drowsily as Kris rested his head on his arm and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Good morning,” Adam mumbled. “You been up long?”

Kris shook his head. “Nah, not really. I didn’t want to wake you.” He sat up at last, wincing a little as he did. He was still a bit sore, but in the best, most amazing way possible. Kris had nearly forgotten what the next morning could feel like after sex that intense, waking up next to someone, warm and sated, and savoring every twinge as a reminder.

Adam didn’t miss his reaction and frowned as he sat up. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, resting his chin on Kris’ shoulder, his hand caressing his thigh through the sheet. Kris sighed happily and nodded, leaning against Adam as he wrapped his other arm around his waist.

“I’m fantastic,” Kris told him honestly, glancing over his shoulder with a smile. Adam didn‘t seem convinced, and he was still frowning. Kris turned, his leg pressing against Adam‘s under the cover, and touched his face. “Really, Adam. I’m…amazing.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Adam answer softly, tugging at Kris gently until he was facing him, straddling him on the bed with his hands on Adam’s shoulders. “So…no regrets?” Adam asked, running his hands soothingly up and down Kris’ back. Adam’s expression didn’t change, but there was apprehension in his eyes that belied the calmness in his voice.

“None,” Kris told him without hesitation, reaching out to brush Adam’s hair off his face. A hint of relief flashed across his face, and Adam smiled. The only regret Kris really had was that it had taken him so long to meet Adam. Kris generally believed that things happened for a reason, though, and if he’d met Adam while he and Matt were still together or soon after they’d broken up, he probably wouldn’t be where he was now. And there was nowhere else on Earth Kris wanted to be at this moment.

“Me either,” Adam assured him. “I know you’ve been worried that I’m going to change my mind or get overwhelmed, but…I’m not going anywhere unless you make me. You mean a lot to me. You _and_ Maddie.”

“Thank you,” Kris whispered. He hadn’t dated since he split up with Matt, but his few half-hearted attempts had gone down in flames when the guys found out he had a daughter, which didn’t bother Kris because he didn’t want those sort of people in his life anyway. The fact that Adam was not only okay with it, but truly cared about Maddie meant a lot to Kris. Maddie was his life, his world, and he could never be with anyone who saw her as an inconvenience or something to be tolerated. He already knew how Adam felt, but it was nice to hear him say it. “You mean a lot to me, too.”

Adam’s stomach rumbled, breaking the seriousness of the moment, and Kris laughed as he made a face. “How about a shower and then breakfast?” Kris asked, already climbing off the bed and pulling Adam along behind him. They didn’t have any plans today, anywhere they had to be, and no one making demands on their time. If they wanted to stay in bed all day, they could. And that sounded like a pretty good option to Kris.

~*~*~*~

"So what do you want for breakfast?" Kris asked, twisting to tug at his t-shirt that was clinging to his damp back. "I've got cereal or...cereal. I guess we could go out. I'd rather stay here, though," he said with enough implication in his voice to make Adam glance up at him and lower the towel he'd been using to dry his hair.

Kris could still feel Adam’s fingers on his scalp, working the shampoo through his hair, rinsing it thoroughly to make sure he got the last of the suds. They’d gotten a little distracted after that, kissing under the hot spray of water, their hands roaming everywhere, until the water had turned cold and forced them out.

Adam reached out and drew Kris closer, pulling him down next to him on the bed. "Cereal's fine," he murmured, his lips gliding easily over Kris’. “Or we could skip breakfast altogether.”

A knock at the door interrupted them, and Kris sighed, pressing a quick kiss to Adam’s lips. “Hold that thought,” he told him before climbing off the bed. Adam followed him, lingering in the bedroom door as Kris crossed the room and checked the peephole. He cursed under his breath and glanced over his shoulder at Adam. “It’s Matt.”

Adam frowned and jerked his thumb backwards toward the bedroom. “Do you want me to…?”

“No,” Kris said emphatically. “We haven’t done anything wrong. I’m not going to hide.” Adam gave him a wary smile, but nodded, silently agreeing to let Kris handle this however he thought best. He took a deep breath and turned back to the door, pulling it open about halfway. Matt was holding Maddie’s hand in his, and he looked up as the door opened. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you so early, but I’ve got an emergency at one of the sites. I’ve got to go deal with it. Can you watch Maddie until I get back?” Matt asked. He could hear the weariness in Matt’s voice. Kris knew it had taken a lot for him to come here and ask him for help, that he wouldn’t have done it if he’d had any other choice.

“Of course,” Kris nodded, leaning over to pick her up. “Morning, sweetheart. Did you have fun at the fireworks last night?” he asked. Maddie nodded, but she was still sleepy and cuddled against Kris as he held her. “You can tell me all about it later,” Kris murmured, kissing the top of her head.

Matt offered him a small smile, but then his gaze darted past Kris as something, or someone, in the background caught his attention. Kris could tell the exact second he spotted Adam by the way Matt’s jaw clenched. When his eyes met Kris’ again, they were hard. “Sorry, I didn’t know you had company,” he said stiltedly. “I guess I should have called first.”

“It’s no problem,” Kris shrugged nonchalantly, glad that his voice sounded calmer than he felt. “You know Adam.” Matt gave him a quick nod, frowning as Maddie lifted her head off of Kris’ shoulder and grinned, finally noticing Adam behind them.

“I want to go play with Adam,” she complained, squirming to get out of Kris’ arms. He put her down, wincing inwardly at the hurt that flashed on Matt’s face as Maddie ran across the room to where Adam was, tugging on his hand until he followed her into her room. Adam threw one last apologetic glance over his shoulder before he disappeared with Maddie.

“Well,” Matt said at last, forcing Kris to finally look at him again. “I guess I’ll just go then. I’ll see you later.” He was halfway down the hall before Kris could slip on a pair of flip-flops and catch up with him.

“Matt, wait,” he said, grabbing his arm. Matt turned to look at him expectantly, but Kris really didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t apologize for being with Adam, not when he made him so happy. He couldn’t pretend to be less than thrilled that Maddie and Adam adored each other. But he knew that it couldn’t be easy for Matt, watching some other man seemingly take his place.

“What?” Matt asked, growing impatient with him and jerking his arm away. “Don’t tell me not to be upset, Kris. That’s _my_ daughter in there playing with _your_ new boyfriend. Excuse me if I’m not as overjoyed by this cozy little family scene as you are. I just didn’t realize I was that easy to replace.”

Matt’s words made his heart ache. He cared about Matt, and the last thing he would ever do was hurt him intentionally. “No one’s replacing you,” Kris said softly. “Maddie loves you. You’re her dad. You will _always_ be her dad. It doesn’t matter who I’m with, or who you’re with. _We_ are her parents. Matt, just because it didn’t work out between us doesn’t mean any of that changes. We’re in this together, and we owe it to Maddie to give her the absolute best life we can.”

Kris watched as his words sank in, and Matt slowly nodded. “It’s not easy, Kris, watching someone else get everything I ever wanted, but I know it’s mostly my fault that things turned out the way they did.” He rubbed his face and sighed. “You’re right. Maddie is all that matters, so I’ll try, okay? I’ll try.”

“That’s all I want,” Kris told him, reaching out tentatively to squeeze Matt‘s arm. “Do you want to come back and tell Maddie bye?”

Matt shook his head. “I really have to go. This could be pretty serious, and I need to get on site as soon as I can. Tell her I’ll see her tonight. I’ll call if I’m going to be really late.” Matt gave him a weak smile and started down the hall. Kris walked back to his apartment slowly, opening the door and locking it behind him. He crossed the room to stand in Maddie’s door, smiling as he watched her arrange play cups and plates and fake food on the tiny table in her room.

“Hi, Daddy. Do you want to come to our tea party?” she asked. Adam was sitting cross-legged on the floor by her bed, and he glanced over his shoulder and patted the spot next to him with a smile. “We’re having tea and cookies and chocolate milk. And pizza and ice cream,” she added.

“I’d love to,” he answered, settling beside Adam. “Sounds yummy.”

As Maddie dug around in her toy box looking for something, Adam leaned over until their shoulders touched. “Is everything okay?” he asked quietly, his concern evident in his eyes. Adam’s hand was lying between them on the carpet, and Kris reached out to cover it with his own. He held Adam’s hand tightly for a second and nodded. Kris wasn’t naïve enough to think that everything was fine now, that there wouldn’t be anymore bumps in the road, but as long as he had Maddie and Adam, he could handle everything else.


	10. Chapter 10

Allison grinned as she plopped down in front of Adam at the table in the cafeteria. Her class was sitting just a few seats away, already eating lunch and buzzing about the skits they’d been doing all morning.

“So,” Allison said slowly, spreading her food out in front of her and opening a bottle of water, “I asked the kids what they did over the holiday. Maddie told me, and the entire class, that she had a tea party. With you.”

Adam laughed. “She said that, huh?” He’d spent all day Saturday with Kris and Maddie and, even though it had altered their plans a little, he’d really enjoyed it. Maddie was a really sweet kid and according to Kris, she’d taken to him a lot quicker than she did to most people. He'd caught Kris watching them more than once with a disbelieving smile on his face. When they were finally alone and he’d asked him about it, Kris had just shrugged and kissed him. Adam didn’t really need more of an explanation than that.

Matt was almost civil when he had picked Maddie up that night. Adam still didn’t know exactly what Kris had said to him, but it had seemed to work. Adam was glad, for Kris’ sake, that they’d apparently called a truce. He didn’t like seeing Kris upset and that’s why he’d decided to do whatever he could to keep the peace. Even though he had very definite opinions about Matt, he kept them to himself. If Matt could play nice, so could he.

“A tea party? Adam, that’s too freakin’ cute! I always knew you’d be a great dad,“ she said, resting her chin in her hands and talking in a hushed voice so they wouldn’t be overheard.

“Whoa, slow down. Just because I’m seeing Kris…”

“So you are? Seeing him, I mean?” Allison asked triumphantly, a gleam in her eyes at finally getting him to talk about it. “I knew it! Well, you know, _obviously_ I knew. So is he your boyfriend,” she questioned, raising her eyebrows suggestively, “or are you just…”

“Alli!” Adam interrupted incredulously, not giving her a chance to finish the sentence. Adam shook his head, but he couldn’t hold back a tiny grin. He might have been tossing the word around in his head, but no one else had referred to Kris as his boyfriend yet. It was nice and sent a small shiver up his spine. Allison crossed her arms and stared at him without saying anything, and Adam sighed, relenting a little. It wasn’t like it was a secret, and it was only a matter of time before their relationship was common knowledge anyway. “Yes, we’re dating, okay? Now will you drop it?”

Allison beamed at him, and Adam was pretty sure if the table wasn’t between them, she would be hugging him right now. “That’s awesome, Adam. He’s really nice. I’m happy for you. And consider it dropped. Not another word, I promise.”

“Thanks, Alli,” he said, surprised by how much he actually meant it. Adam took a bite of his sandwich, chewing thoughtfully for a second before continuing. “I’ve been thinking about the school play this year,” Adam said at last, skillfully steering the conversation away from his personal life. “Anything you want to suggest before I decide?” Adam tried to take his kids’ opinions into account when he chose the play, and Allison was always one of his most vocal students.

“I don’t know. It’s my senior year, it’s got to be good,” Allison told him. “You always pick good stuff, but, Adam, this has to be great. I want something that‘s really going to make us step up our game.” Allison reminded him of himself so much when he was in high school that Adam had to smile. He’d always been the one pushing for shows with complex vocals and tons of choreography, and he loved to see that reflected in his students. It made him feel like he was doing his job.

“I have a few ideas that I'm narrowing down,” Adam said with a shrug. “I promise it will be a challenge. With this much talent, we can do plays that most high schools wouldn't even attempt."

“Well, that’s true,” Allison nodded, grinning when Adam rolled his eyes at her. “I’m not bragging! You just said it yourself. We’ve worked hard to be this good. _You‘ve_ worked hard for us to be this good.”

“I push you guys because I know what you’re capable of,” Adam told her as he gathered his trash. “I’ve got to get back to work. The fifth graders are on the stage today working on their piece for Parent‘s Night. I’ll try to stop by your class later if I have time.”

The scene that greeted him in the auditorium wasn’t what he’d expected. Kevin and Lisa, his fifth grade teachers, were two of his best students, but there were kids running around on stage, goofing off even as Kevin shouted at them to sit down. He scanned the room quickly and spotted Lisa standing down by the steps with two boys who were glaring at each other, a hand on each of their shoulders to keep them apart.

“What is going on here?” Adam called from the back as he made his way toward the stage. “Sit!” The kids stopped where they were and slowly sat down on the wooden floor. Adam walked to the edge of the stage and leaned against it, eye-level with them as he looked at the group. “I expect a lot better from you guys. You listen to Kevin and do what he tells you, okay? And if he has trouble with anyone, I’ll be calling parents.”

Adam glanced to his left where the two boys with Lisa were staring at their shoes. “And what is this about?” He crossed his arms and waited for them to say something. “Josh? Hunter?”

“He started it,” Josh muttered, not looking up. Hunter looked like he was going to object, but Adam stepped in before they could start fighting again.

“Hey, it’s takes two to fight. I don’t care who started it. You guys are going to sit out twenty minutes of rehearsal, and if Lisa and Kevin have any more trouble out of you, you’re going to sit in my office while I call your parents. You guys know the rules. If I have to send you home, you don’t come back,” Adam said, fixing them with a stern look. “Now, can you behave?”

“Yes, sir,” they muttered, still glaring at each other from the corners of their eyes.

“Okay, have a seat,” Adam told them, waiting until they’d sat down on opposite sides of the room before looking at Lisa. “If it gets out of hand call me or come and get me, okay? This is a tough group, but I know you two can handle it.” He smiled sympathetically as she nodded.

“Thanks, Adam,” she murmured, seeming embarrassed that they hadn’t been able to keep their class under control. It happened every year, especially with the older kids who had gotten used to the staff and saw them more as friends than authority figures. A quick speech from him usually curtailed the problem, and Adam didn’t think they’d have any more trouble from this group. Just to be safe, though, he settled in at the back to watch the rehearsal.

~*~*~*~

It was almost time to leave when Adam finally made it back to his office. He’d stayed with the fifth graders for most of the afternoon, and then checked in with a few of the other classes, thankful that there weren’t anymore crises the rest of the day. He loved this, but sometimes he didn’t think he got paid enough.

His phone rang, and Adam smiled when he saw Kris’ name on the display. “Hey,” he said answering the phone as he sat down in his desk chair. “How was the workshop?”

“It was good,” Kris told him. “I mean, you know what workshops are like, but this one wasn’t too bad.” He paused a second, and when he spoke again, Adam could hear the hesitation in his voice. “I have a favor to ask,” he said at last. “I’m stuck in traffic on the interstate. It looks like there’s been a wreck or something. I can’t reach Matt and there’s no way I’m going to make it back by four…Would you mind watching Maddie until I can get there?”

“Of course not,” Adam told him, glad that Kris trusted him enough to watch Maddie, but slightly hurt that he had thought, even for a second, that he wouldn’t want to. Adam had never really given a lot of thought to kids and settling down; there’d never been anyone in his life to have that with, but now that he had Kris, Adam was surprised by just how much he wanted it.

“Thanks,” Kris said softly. “I really appreciate it. I shouldn’t be too long.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll be fine,” Adam shrugged. They talked for a few more minutes before Kris started to break up, his voice coming and going as he lost reception, and Adam reluctantly had to tell him bye. Classes were almost over for the day, and Adam headed to get Maddie before Allison took the kids out front for their parents to pick them up. She was just lining them up at the door when Adam looked in. “Hey, Alli. I need to get Maddie.”

Allison raised her eyebrows at him, but true to her earlier promise didn’t say a word. “Come on, Maddie,” she said, pulling her out of line and walking with her to the door. “Looks like Adam’s picking you up today. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” she said as Maddie hugged her leg.

“Where’s Daddy?” Maddie asked as she walked down the hall with Adam, her hand wrapped around his. She didn’t sound particularly upset, just curious. Adam was relieved that she actually seemed excited to be going with him.

“He’s on his way. He just got stuck in traffic,” Adam told her as he opened the door to his office and ushered her in. Maddie was immediately drawn to his board full of pictures. He sat her on the edge of his desk so she could see the ones higher up, while he gathered a few things from his desk and stuffed them into his backpack, making sure he had his keys and cell phone. “You like those pictures?” he asked, watching as Maddie looked at them all in awe. She nodded, and Adam smiled. “I need one of you, don’t I?”

“Really?” Maddie asked, her eyes wide. “Me?”

“Well, sure. I have all my favorite students up there.” He picked her up and walked closer to the board. “See? Here’s Allison,” he said, pointing to a candid shot of her in the corner. He scanned the photos quickly, looking for other people that Maddie would know. “And here’s Archie,” he told her, tapping his senior portrait with his finger. “I definitely need one of you.”

Maddie beamed at him. “Daddy has lots of pictures of me,” she told him.

“Yeah?” Adam said. “I’ll have to ask him for one. Are you ready to go?” Maddie nodded, and Adam put her back on the ground and slung his backpack over his shoulder before taking her hand again. He locked his office door, and they went back to the main hallway. Adam did a quick sweep, making sure all the kids and staff had left and all the lights were off before they went to the front pick-up site. The kids were gone for the day, except for a few whose parents were still lingering around chatting.

Adam smiled and waved at them as he walked Maddie to his car, letting her climb in the backseat and fastening her in. The drive to his apartment didn’t take long, and soon he had Maddie settled in front of the Disney Channel with paper and some colored pencils he’d managed to find at the back of his desk drawer.

“Do you want to draw with me?” Maddie asked, glancing up at him and pushing a piece of paper in his direction. Adam only hesitated a second before sitting down on the floor by the coffee table next to her. They worked in silence for awhile, both concentrating on their creations. Finally Maddie leaned over to peer at what he was drawing, which had turned out to be an abstract design, though he hadn’t really had anything in mind when he’d started. “That’s pretty,” Maddie said sincerely, smiling up at him.

“Yeah? Let’s see yours,” Adam said. The only stick figure that was easily identifiable was Allison, with her bright red hair and a ton of smaller figures around her. “You drew camp?” he asked, touched that out of everything she could have drawn, she’d picked that.

Maddie nodded and started pointing at the picture. “That’s Allison, that’s me, and that’s you and Daddy,” she said, her finger trailing over two figures that were away from the rest of the group. “He’s waiting to pick me up,” she explained.

“That’s really good, Maddie,” he told her. A knock at the door interrupted them, and Adam grinned as he climbed to his feet. “I bet that’s your daddy now,” he said as he crossed the room, checking the peephole before pulling the door open. “Hey,” Adam said softly.

“Hi,” Kris answered with a smile. “Hey, sweetheart,” he said to Maddie as he crossed the room. “Were you good for Adam?” Maddie nodded, but didn’t look up as she continued to work on her drawing.

“She was wonderful,” Adam told him, closing the door and coming to stand beside him.

“Thanks, Adam. I don’t know what I would have done without you today,” Kris said quietly, his eyes full of gratitude. He shook his head and glanced down at Maddie with an affectionate smile before looking back at Adam. “Thank you.” Kris wasn’t just thanking him for watching Maddie this afternoon, and Adam realized that.

“Anytime,” Adam answered. There was so much he wanted to say to Kris right now, but it would have to wait until they were alone or at least until Maddie had gone to sleep. Then they could talk freely, even if it was just over the phone. He settled for giving Kris’ shoulder a squeeze and offering him a quick smile. “I mean it. Anytime.”


	11. Chapter 11

Kris knelt on the floor by Maddie’s bookshelf, running his finger along the line of books looking for one to read to her. She’d already brushed her teeth and changed into her pajamas, and she was now waiting impatiently in her bed for him to pick a book. Kris grabbed one at random and stood up, sitting beside her and letting her cuddle up next to him. Kris smiled and laid the book on the bed without opening it.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, pulling Maddie around to sit in his lap. “I need to talk to you a minute before we read, okay?” Kris was nervous, mainly because he still didn’t have any idea how he was going to say this. He knew he’d waited as long as he could, though, and that it was time to tell her about Adam.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes worried as she looked up at him. Kris shook his head and hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetie,” he said, stroking her hair and feeling awful that she’d automatically assumed it had to be something bad. “Did you have a good time with Adam today?” he asked, smiling when she nodded. “Yeah?”

“Adam’s fun,” Maddie told him. “He wants to put my picture on the board in his office. Will you give him one?” she asked, clearly excited that Adam wanted to include her with all of his other students. Kris’ chest tightened a little, and he nodded.

“Absolutely,” Kris said. “You can help me pick one out in the morning, okay?”

“Okay,” Maddie agreed happily.

“We’ve been spending a lot of time with Adam. And that’s been fun. You like Adam, don‘t you?” he asked, waiting until she nodded before continuing. “I like him, too. A lot. You know how we've talked about when two grown-ups really like each other, sometimes they want to spend time together and do things together?"

"Like a date," Maddie said simply, sounding far older than her years and reminding Kris that his daughter was growing up quicker than he would have liked. Before he knew it, _she'd_ be dating and that was something he didn't even want to think about.

"Yes, like a date," Kris nodded. "How would you feel about that? If I dated Adam?”

“What about Daddy?” she asked quietly, looking up at him, her eyes wide and confused. Kris hugged her again as he tried to find the right words to explain this situation to her. It was complicated enough for him, he couldn’t imagine trying to work through all of it as a five-year-old.

“Maddie, Daddy and I love you so much and nothing will ever change that. I know you miss all of us living here together, but that’s not going to happen, sweetheart. You can see Daddy whenever you want, but he’s not going to move back in, okay? And if I want to date someone else, or if he wants to, that’s alright. We both just want you to be happy,” Kris told her, trying to be forthright and honest with her without being too blunt.

“I am,” Maddie said. “Aren’t you?”

“Sweetie, you make me happier than anything in the entire world,” Kris answered. “And as long as you’re happy, I’ll be happy. But I really like Adam, and I want to spend time with him,” Kris told her as plainly as he could, brushing her hair out of her face as she watched him.

“Okay,” Maddie said at last after a long silence. “I guess it's okay.” She was quiet again for a minute, and Kris worried that she had more concerns she hadn’t voiced yet. “Will you and Adam still take me to the park and to get ice cream and stuff?” she finally asked. Kris bit back a laugh and nodded, picking her up to kiss her cheek.

“I would love that, and I think Adam would, too,” he answered, relieved that Maddie seemed to be placated by his answer. Telling her about Adam had gone a lot smoother than he’d expected, and he couldn’t wait to call Adam and tell him.

Kris watched with a smile as she climbed back under the covers, pulling the blanket up to her chin as she snuggled in. “Can we read now?” she asked, looking up at him expectantly. Kris grabbed the book and stretched out beside her, resting his arm on her pillow and holding the book out in front of them so she could see the pictures.

“Once upon a time…”

~*~*~*~

Kris curled up on one end of the couch with a cup of tea, quickly dialing Adam’s number from memory and pressing the phone to his ear. CNN was muted on his TV, and he frowned at the headlines as he listened to the phone ring. “Hey,” he said quietly when Adam finally answered. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to choose a play. I’ve almost decided to close my eyes and just pick one,” he sighed. “I’ll happily take a distraction.” Kris could practically hear his smile through the phone and wished that Adam was there with him now.

“Thank you again for watching Maddie for me,” Kris told him. “She really had fun with you today.” It still amazed Kris just how effortlessly Adam and Maddie had accepted the other into their lives. It made it a lot easier on him, and he was grateful for that.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Adam said softly. “I want to be there, Kris. If you need me, or Maddie does, all you have to do is ask. I mean, if we’re going to be together, I want you to know that if you need me, I’ll be there.”

Kris tried to talk around the lump in his throat, but his words came out strangled. He sat up on the couch and tried again. “I want you to be there. I _need_ you to be. I just don’t know how much is too much to expect.”

“Nothing,” Adam said without hesitation. “When it comes to you and Maddie…there aren’t any limits. At least not on my end. I know things are complicated for you, so wherever you need to draw the line…I’ll understand and respect that. But you don’t have to worry about me. If I get overwhelmed, I’ll let you know.”

“You’re too good to be true,” Kris said, shaking his head even though Adam couldn't see him. "You have no idea how happy you made Maddie by asking for her picture," Kris told him, remembering the smile on her face. “That was really sweet, Adam.”

"I didn’t do anything. I mean it, I do want one. I wouldn't mind one of you, too, while you‘re at it," Adam added. Kris tried to ignore the flutter in his chest at Adam's words because, really, that shouldn't make him as happy as it did.

"I think that can be arranged," Kris murmured. "How was camp today?" Adam was silent for a second, and Kris frowned. Adam usually couldn't wait to tell him about his day, chatting excitedly about something the kids had done or complaining about a problem he'd encountered. "Adam? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing like that," Adam assured him quickly. "Well, there was one little incident, but it wasn't anything major. All in a day's work. But, um, Allison was badgering me, and I sort of told her we're dating," Adam explained hesitantly. "I just wanted to give you a heads-up in case she acts weird tomorrow."

"She didn't know already? After walking in on us in your office like that?" Kris asked, raising his eyebrows. Kris had to admit that he was still a little embarrassed that one of Adam's students had caught them, but it didn't seem to bother Adam, so he tried not to think about it. To her credit, Allison acted as if nothing had ever happened.

"Well, I think what she really wanted to know was if we were dating or just sleeping together," Adam told him. Kris nearly choked on his tea, more grateful than ever that his students were so young. At least he didn't have to deal with stuff like _that_.

"She actually asked you that?" Kris asked incredulously.

"Not in so many words," Adam told him with a laugh. "I didn't really give her the chance. You know there's not a lot I won't talk about with my kids, but my sex life is where I draw the line." Adam was quiet for a second. "She really likes you, by the way." That meant a lot to Kris, he wasn't sure why exactly, it shouldn't matter if she liked him or not, but it clearly made Adam happy and _that_ made him happy.

"I talked to Maddie about us tonight," Kris told him, still relieved that she'd taken it so well. It had been difficult the last few weeks trying to keep a check on how affectionate he was towards Adam when Maddie was there. It wasn't like they were going to make-out in front of her, but if he wanted to hold Adam's hand or hug him, stuff he'd always taken for granted with Matt, Kris wanted to be able to do that.

"You did?" Adam asked, obviously surprised. "How did that go?" Kris could hear the nervousness in his voice, and it made Kris smile. Despite his assurances, Kris still didn't think Adam knew exactly what he'd gotten himself into, and it was nice to know that Adam wasn't as nonchalant about it as he tried to appear.

"She had some questions, mainly about Matt," Kris said softly, regretting that he had to bring Matt up at all. "I think she's just beginning to understand that this breakup is permanent. It's a little confusing for her, but she adores you, Adam. I can't say that I blame her."

"So it went okay?" Adam asked. "Maddie understands, and she's okay with everything?"

"She knows I really like you and that we're dating," Kris told him. "I mean, she's five. I don't know what that really means to her, but I think as long as we still take her to get ice cream, she'll be fine. It went better than I expected." Kris looked up as Maddie's bedroom door creaked open, and she peeked out at him through the tiny crack. "Hold on a second," he said into the phone.

"Can't sleep?" he asked Maddie, patting the couch and smiling as she ran across the room and climbed up on it beside him. She shook her head and cuddled against him as he wrapped his arm around her. "Would another story help?" Kris tried to be strict about her bedtime, but he could bend the rules a little tonight. Maddie nodded, and Kris put the phone back to his ear. "Adam?"

"I heard," Adam said. "Go read her another story. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Maddie tugged on his sleeve, and Kris glanced at her questioningly. "Hang on," he told Adam, lowering the phone to his shoulder and frowning. It wasn't like Maddie to be this impatient, especially when he was on the telephone. "What is it, sweetie?"

"I want to tell Adam goodnight," she said, reaching up for the phone. "Can I?"

"Of course," Kris finally managed to get out, fighting the urge to scoop her up and hug her. Moments like these amazed him and convinced him that, despite their shortcomings, he and Matt must have done something right. "Hey, are you still there?" Kris asked Adam, smiling when he heard his voice on the other end. "Maddie wants to talk to you."

She took the phone that Kris held out to her. "Night, Adam. Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite," she told him, and Kris had to cover his mouth, biting down hard on his knuckle to keep from laughing. He wished he could hear what Adam was saying on the other end to make Maddie giggle so much. Finally, she handed the phone back to him. "He wants to talk to you."

"Go pick out a book, and I'll be there in a minute," Kris told her. He smiled and waited until she disappeared into her room before turning his attention back to the phone. "Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," Adam repeated. "I know Maddie's waiting for you, I just...I know you didn't have to tell her about us. It would've made it a lot easier on you if you didn't, but...thank you. For telling her and for letting me be involved in this part of your life. She's an amazing little girl, Kris. You should be proud of her."

"I am," Kris said, "but you're wrong. I did have to tell her. You're too important to me to keep that from her." Maddie called him, and Kris sighed with a chuckle. "I've got to go, but...do you think you could sneak away long enough in the morning to have breakfast with me if I bring it?"

“Yeah, I think I can do that,” Adam told him. “I’ll see you then. Goodnight.”

"Bye," Kris told him and reluctantly hung up the phone. He was starting to have a hard time imagining his life without Adam and, as scary as it was for him, he couldn’t deny that this tug at his heart felt an awful lot like love.


	12. Chapter 12

Adam had spent plenty of time backstage, both in high school and college, and even more since he’d started teaching, but without a doubt the most chaotic scenes he’d ever witnessed were the summer program's Parents’ Nights. His staff was holding it together pretty well, but the pressure was starting to stress even the most seasoned of his students. The last time he’d seen Allison, she had looked ready to pull her hair out. There were kids everywhere, excited and nervous, and their energy was contagious.

Adam had given the kids one last pep talk this afternoon after their rehearsal, knowing it would be too crazy tonight to get much in. Allison and Archie’s classes were going on first, and Adam wanted to talk to them one more time before the curtain went up to reassure them that they were going to do fine. He found them off to one side, Archie giving a couple of kids last minute instructions and Allison sitting cross-legged on the ground dealing with a costume problem. Adam scanned the group of kids with a smile until he reached Maddie. She was standing by herself, her arms wrapped around her and her head down, looking as if she was about to cry.

He’d seen her earlier when Kris dropped her off, and she’d seemed perfectly happy. Adam frowned and walked over to her, pulling her away from the rest of the kids a little and kneeling in front of her. “What’s wrong, Maddie?” he asked, surprised when she threw her arms around him and held on tightly. Adam hugged her back and picked her up. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said quietly, patting her back. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Daddy’s not here yet,” she whispered. “I don’t want him to miss it.”

Adam’s heart ached a little bit as she looked up at him with watery eyes. He’d dealt with this before, but never on such a personal level. Kris had told him that Matt was running late, and Adam didn’t want to tell her that he’d be there and make promises to Maddie that he couldn’t keep. “I want to show you something,” Adam told her, toting her across the stage until they were standing next to the curtain. Adam pulled it aside just a fraction of an inch, enough that they could peek out of it.

The auditorium was crowded with people, but it didn’t take long for Adam to find Kris. He was close to the front, standing with an older couple that had to be his parents. They were chatting casually, but Kris was obviously distracted, glancing at his watch and craning his neck to see the entrance at the back. “There’s Grandma and Grandpa,” Maddie told him softly, sounding a little happier. “And Uncle Daniel!”

“You have a lot of people who care about you here to see you tonight,” Adam answered, smiling at her. He glanced back out at the crowd, feeling an unbelievable wave of relief as he spotted Matt making his way down the aisle toward Kris and his family. “Hey, look who’s here,” Adam said, pointing out into the audience.

“Daddy!” Maddie cried happily. Adam was glad, for Maddie’s sake, that Matt had made it, but he couldn’t completely ignore the tiny stab of jealousy he felt as he watched Kris’ family greet Matt, his mother giving him an affectionate hug and kissing his cheek. Clearly they all still liked Matt and that made him a little nervous, wondering how they would react to someone new in Kris’ life. Adam had been so caught up with the planning and logistics of tonight that it hadn’t even really occurred to him that he’d be meeting Kris’ family for the first time.

Adam took a deep breath and tried to shove that thought to the back of his mind. Tonight was about Maddie, not him. He needed to devote all of his attention to the kids and their performances, and he couldn’t do that if he was worrying about what was going to happen afterwards. “It’s show time. Are you ready?” he asked Maddie, grinning as she nodded excitedly.

He took her back to the rest of the group, where Allison was trying to get everyone in order to go on stage. “Hey, guys, listen,” Adam said, waiting until they were all paying attention before he continued. “Let’s go out there and have fun, okay? I’m really proud of all of you. Break a leg!” He went down the line of kids giving them a high five, making sure to give Allison and Archie one, too.

Adam grabbed the microphone he’d laid aside earlier and stepped around the curtain onto the stage, standing near the lectern that had been placed near the edge. He didn’t have any notes, but he moved up to it anyway. He smiled out at the audience even though he couldn’t see them with the spotlight trained on him. “Hello. I’m pleased to welcome all of you to the conclusion of the 6th Annual Youth Drama Camp. Over the last couple of months, these kids have worked hard to bring these performances to you. I know it means a lot to them that you’re here to support them tonight. Thank you, and enjoy the show!”

The curtain opened as Adam slipped into the wings. He wished he could stay and watch, but he had four more groups to get on and off stage. The first grade group was already gathering backstage getting ready to go on. Second and third grade were in the corridor between the auditorium and his office getting ready, and the fourth and fifth grade groups were waiting in their classrooms until it was their turn.

Adam held his breath until it was all over. There were some flubbed lines, a couple of missed entrances, but nothing catastrophic. Overall, Adam was thrilled with how well they had done. There was a reception of sorts, cookies and punch, afterwards in the cafeteria. It was crowded, and Adam was surrounded by parents and kids as soon as he made it down the steps. He finally saw Kris across the room. He was with Matt and Maddie, his parents and brother apparently lost somewhere in the crowd. Adam watched them for a second. It was the first time he’d seen Kris relaxed when Matt was around, smiling and laughing and just looking like _Kris_ , and it made him realize, suddenly, just how happy they must have been at one time.

For the first time since he’d started dating Kris, Adam felt out of place, like he didn’t really belong. Maddie had her grandparents, her uncle, her _dads_. They were a family, and Adam wasn’t part of that and didn’t want to intrude on it. He excused himself as politely as he could and slipped from the cafeteria, walking down the now empty hallway until he reached his office. He was being ridiculous, he realized that, but he couldn’t change the way he felt. Adam closed his door and sat down behind his desk, holding his head in his hands.

He hadn’t expected to feel like this, and it made him angry at himself that he did. He _wanted_ Kris and Matt to get along. It was good for Maddie, and he hated seeing Kris upset after arguing with Matt. He wasn’t jealous, not of Matt, but the history they had together was a little intimidating. There was a knock at his door, and Adam sighed and rubbed at his eyes before looking up. “Come in.”

The door cracked open an inch, and Kris peeked in. He frowned when he saw Adam, slipping into the office and closing the door behind him. “Hey, why are you hiding in here?” Kris asked, bypassing the chair in front of the desk to lean against the corner next to Adam. He smiled questioningly, brushing his fingers through Adam‘s hair. “Is everything okay?”

"Yeah, I'm fine," Adam told him, shaking his head. He didn't like to lie, but he didn't want to bother Kris with it, not tonight, not when he was so happy.

"Then why are you here?" Kris asked him, clearly not buying it. "I looked for you everywhere. The kids did great tonight. You should be out there celebrating. So what's wrong?" Kris peered at him intently, dropping his hand to Adam's shoulder. "Adam?"

"It's nothing," Adam said. "Really. I just...Your whole family is out there. I don't want to be in the way," he said softly. Kris stared at him for a minute, his expression completely unreadable, then he smacked Adam hard on the arm, frowning.

"You _are_ my family, you idiot. If you don't know that by now..." Kris said incredulously. "I want you out there with me. Do you have any idea how proud I was of you tonight? To sit there in the audience watching those kids, knowing that _you_ were responsible for it? I'm glad my parents and brother are here, and Matt, but...you're my boyfriend. I want to share things like tonight with you."

Adam knew he was being stupid, but to hear Kris spell it out like that, so sure of himself, of _them_ , made him wonder how he could ever have had any doubts in the first place. He was embarrassed by the way he'd reacted. It seemed even more ridiculous now with Kris sitting there beside him, his fingers trailing soothingly up and down Adam's arm, his eyes warm and compassionate. "Your boyfriend, huh? God, I _am_ an idiot," Adam muttered.

Kris grinned. "Yeah, but you're _my_ idiot." He took Adam's hand and turned his chair until he could tug him to his feet. "As much as I'd like to stay in here, my mother's not going to leave until she meets you. I'm surprised she hasn't found your office yet," Kris said, smiling up at him, his thumb rubbing across the back of Adam's hand.

"I want to meet her, too," Adam said quietly. He didn't want to risk a repeat of what had happened with Allison, especially not with a school full of kids and parents, but he brought Kris' hand up between them, brushing his lips across the knuckles. "Ready?"

Kris nodded and held on tightly to his hand as they left the office, almost as if he were afraid that Adam would change his mind if he let go. "I should tell you, there's a rumor, well not a _rumor_ since it's true, going around that you're dating one of the parents," Kris said softly as they walked up the deserted hall. "The two women sitting behind me were talking about it. They think you're quite the catch. I almost turned around and agreed, but then they started pointing out guys they thought it might be. I didn't want to interrupt. It was kind of amusing."

Adam smiled, well aware that Kris was trying to distract him from what they were about to do. They paused at the top of the steps that led into the cafeteria, and Kris gave his hand one more squeeze before reluctantly letting go. The crowd had thinned some, but there were still a lot of parents standing around chatting and kids everywhere. They got a couple of curious glances as they walked across the room, and Kris nudged him with his elbow as he pointed out the women who had been sitting behind him.

Adam fought off a case of nerves as they got closer to the group waiting for them in the corner. Maddie was on her uncle’s shoulder, nearly asleep, and Adam realized it was well past her normal bedtime. He was relieved to see that Matt had already left. This was going to be awkward enough as it was, and Matt being there would only have made it worse. "Mom, Dad, Daniel, this is Adam," Kris said, his hand settling on Adam's lower back as he made introductions. Adam relaxed into the touch, grateful for the small gesture.

"It's so good to finally meet you," Kim said, stepping forward immediately to give him a hug. "We've heard a lot about you. It's nice to be able to put a face with the name." Adam hugged her back tightly, smiling as he caught Kris' eye over her shoulder.

"It's nice to meet you, too," he said, letting go of her and shaking hands with Kris' dad and brother. "All of you." Adam tried to ignore the way they were all sizing him up, but it was a little unnerving. Kris' hand slid up his back to rest on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"The kids did a great job," Neil said. "You've obviously put in a lot of effort with them. It must be very rewarding to see them do so well."

"It is, thank you. The kids worked really hard this year, and the staff was probably the best I've had. They made it all happen," Adam said. "I'm really proud of all of them." There was a brief awkward silence, but Allison picked that moment to pop up next to him, looping her arm through his.

"I'm really sorry to interrupt, but I need to steal Adam for a minute. We have to take the staff photo," she said. Allison did look regretful, an expression he’d seen on her face more in the last two months than he had the entire time she’d been in his class. This first meeting was going pretty well, but Adam was still glad to have an excuse to leave.

“Get everyone to the auditorium, and I’ll be right there,” Adam told her. He turned back to the Allens with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry I’ve got to run, but it was so great to finally meet all of you.”

Kim hugged him again. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of you in the future,” she told him softly. Her ready acceptance of him touched Adam and made him look forward to getting to know her and the rest of the family. Knowing Kris, he really shouldn’t have expected any less from them.

“If you guys want to go on, I’ll catch up with you in just a second,” Kris said, not so subtly trying to get rid of them. His mother looked back and forth between them with a smile and nodded, telling Adam bye one more time before ushering her family toward the exit.

“I know they’re waiting for you, but I was just wondering if you wanted to stay at my place tonight?” Kris asked quietly. He raised his eyebrows hopefully and bit his bottom lip as he waited for Adam to answer.

“Is Maddie going with your parents?” Adam asked, confused. He’d thought she was going to be with Kris this weekend, but maybe he’d misunderstood. Kris had slowly become more relaxed around him with Maddie there, more open with his affection, but he was still hesitant about Adam spending the night. Adam didn’t blame him. It limited their time together, but he understood.

Kris shook his head. “She’s going home with me…with us. It’s been two months, Adam. I don’t want to fall asleep without you there tonight. If that makes you uncomfortable, though…”

“No,” Adam interrupted quickly. “I’d like that. If you’re sure.” He watched Kris cautiously, worried that if he actually stopped to think about it, he’d take back his invitation. This was a big step for Kris, and Adam wasn’t going to push it if he wanted to back out.

“I’m sure,” Kris told him. “Go take your picture. I’m going to put Maddie to bed, and I’ll see you when you’re finished here, okay?” His smile lit up his entire face, and Adam had to resist kissing him right there in the middle of the cafeteria. People were talking enough as it was. He didn’t need to add more fuel to the fire.

“I’ll see you then.”


	13. Chapter 13

The first day of school usually made Kris excited. It was always new and different, but at the same time nostalgic. He couldn’t wait to see his kids again, to start rehearsing with his second year students and get started with the first year band, trying to get both groups ready for their first concert in December. His band classes would start today, but his general music classes for all the students wouldn’t begin until next week after the kids and teachers had had a chance to settle in.

This morning, however, Kris couldn’t quite seem to find the excitement through his nerves. If he was this anxious about Maddie starting school, and he was going to be in the same building, he didn’t know how other parents who had to actually leave did it. She was going to be with Brooke, and his classroom was just down the hall from the kindergarten classes, but he couldn’t stop himself from worrying about her.

His mother had been sympathetic yesterday when he’d talked to her, assuring him it was perfectly normal for him to be nervous about her first day of school. He realized it had less to do with the fact that she was starting school, and more to do with her growing up so quickly. When he’d told her that, his mother had hugged him and reminded him that no matter her age, Maddie would always be his little girl.

Kris just wanted this to go smoothly, and he couldn’t help worrying that it wouldn’t. If Adam hadn’t stayed last night, he probably wouldn’t have gotten any sleep at all, lying awake all night dreaming up worst case scenarios. Having Adam there had calmed him some. Adam had wrapped him in his arms, and they’d talked quietly until Kris had drifted off to sleep. Kris had gotten used to sharing his bed again, and the nights when Adam couldn’t stay over, he usually tossed and turned for awhile.

He’d been a little hesitant at first, but after Parents’ Night, he’d sat Maddie down and explained that Adam would be sleeping at their apartment some nights. They’d started out slowly, a couple of nights a week, but when Adam hadn’t stayed for a few days, Maddie complained that Adam read her bedtime stories better and wanted to know when he was going to sleep over again. Kris was so relieved; he hadn’t even been offended that she preferred Adam’s reading over his, though Adam’s laughter when he’d told him about it hadn’t been entirely necessary.

Adam had left early this morning to get ready for school. Kris had still been a little bleary eyed, stumbling into the kitchen to make coffee before waking Maddie. To be truthful, he wasn’t much more awake now as they pulled into the faculty parking lot. Kris parked the car and helped Maddie out, slipping her backpack on her shoulders. He’d dropped off all of her other supplies yesterday while he’d been there getting his classroom set up.

“Okay, are you ready?” he asked, grateful when she nodded. He might be apprehensive, but Maddie seemed excited. Kris wished he could really remember his first day of school, but maybe it was better that he didn’t. He was pretty sure it had involved more tears than this.

They went in the side entrance by his classroom, dropping some things off there, and then going to the office for Kris to sign in before he walked Maddie to the kindergarten hall. There were kids and parents everywhere, some happily going into their rooms, but most clinging to their parents, a couple wailing loudly. He saw one boy, a kid he recognized from class, trying to convince his little sister to let go of their mother. Brooke was standing outside her door trying to maintain order and, to Kris’ surprise, Matt was standing next to her.

Maddie saw him, too, and ran the short distance to him, grinning as he picked her up. “You made it,” Kris said, trying to keep his voice low, but having to speak up to be heard over the commotion around them. Matt had told him he had a meeting this morning, and Kris really hadn’t expected to see him there.

“Of course, I did,” he said, smiling at Maddie before glancing at Kris. “I wasn’t going to miss my favorite girl’s first day of school. Not for anything. _Nice_ backpack, Maddie May,” Matt told her, playing with one of the zippers on the pink bag. “Did you pick that out?”

Maddie shook her head, but thankfully, Brooke interrupted them before she could tell Matt that it had been a gift from Adam. “Hey, guys. Hi, Maddie. Are you ready to go in and meet some new friends? I think your desk is right there beside Tamia.” Matt put her back on the ground and walked in with her, while Kris stayed in the hall with Brooke.

“Thank you for doing that,” he said softly, touching her shoulder. “I feel better knowing they’re together. At least she knows you and Tamia, that’s more than most of these kids.” He watched with a smile as Matt settled her in at her desk, hanging her backpack over her chair.

“She’s going to be fine, Kris,” Brooke told him, but he must have still looked a little nervous. He definitely felt a little nervous, even though it was going better than he’d expected. “You can eat lunch with us if you want,” she offered. “If you don’t have a class then.”

“I’ll see you then,” Kris nodded. It would be nice to check in with Maddie and see how her day was going, and Kris liked to eat lunch with different classes whenever he had a chance. Matt joined them back in the hall, leaving Maddie and Tamia coloring on the sheets Brooke had placed on their desks earlier. Kris watched them for a second, relieved that Maddie seemed happy, but a little lost now that she didn’t need him. “Well…I guess I should head to my classroom.”

“You can stay if you want, but I really think it’s better if you don’t,” Brooke told him. “The kids need to get used to you not being there. If you want to come peek in every now and then, though, I won’t tell on you,” she smiled. “It was good to see you, Matt.” Brooke herded a few more students into the room and went inside, leaving them out in the hall.

Kris hadn’t been alone with Matt in awhile, and they weren’t really now, not with parents and kids still littering the hallway. Things had gotten a little better between them in the last few weeks. Matt had kept his word and made an effort to try to get along with Adam. At the very least, he‘d taken to ignoring him, but that was an improvement from the open hostility from before. “Come on,” Matt said at last, leading the way to Kris’ classroom and leaving him no choice but to fall into step beside him. It didn’t take them long to reach his room and Matt didn’t hesitate, going in and looking around as Kris closed the door behind them. “You’ve changed things around in here. I like it. It works better with the space,” he said, tapping his fingers across a xylophone at the back of the band setup.

“You didn’t come here to talk about my classroom design,” Kris said warily, crossing the room to sit down behind his desk. He laid his cell phone on the desk and shuffled some papers around in front of him, but it was only the first day, and his desk hadn’t had time to get cluttered yet. He sighed and looked up at Matt as he pulled a chair around in front of the desk. “I’m glad you’re here, though. You _should_ be here. What happened to your meeting?”

“I postponed it and took the morning off,” Matt shrugged. “The office isn’t going to implode if I’m not there for a few hours. There are some things that are more important than work.” Matt chuckled derisively and sighed. “I’m a little late on that realization, huh?”

“Matt…” Kris said slowly, not sure where he was going with this, but almost certain he didn’t want to hear it. He was glad that Matt was making an effort to spend more time with Maddie, to be there when he said he would, but it didn’t change anything between them. “It’s nobody’s fault, Matt. Would things have been different if you hadn’t worked so much? I don’t know. Maybe, but maybe there would have just been something else that we fought about. We never seemed to have a shortage of things to argue over.”

“I miss you,” Matt said quietly, searching Kris‘ face as he spoke. “I miss _this_. Just being able to talk to you.” Kris opened his mouth to interrupt him, unsure of what he was going to say, but needing to say something before this went any further. Matt held up his hand to stop him. “I know you’re with Adam now. I might not like it, but it’s your choice, and I respect that.”

“I miss you, too,” Kris told him, honestly. There didn’t seem to be any point in playing his cards close to his vest anymore. It was better just to get everything out in the open. “You were my best friend, Matt. I do miss that. But I _am_ with Adam, and I’m happy. I can’t apologize for moving on. I _won’t_. But I wish we could be friends again.”

Kris’ phone buzzed between them with a new text. He wanted to check it but knew it was Adam, and this didn’t seem like the right time. “I’d like that,” Matt answered with a nod. The phone buzzed again, and Kris’ eyes darted down to it briefly. “I know it’s him, Kris. Go ahead, see what he wants.”

Kris bit his lip as he grabbed the phone, checking the two messages hurriedly. Adam wanted to know how it had gone this morning and asked Kris to call him during his planning period. He sent him a quick text telling him he’d talk to him soon and dropped the phone back on the desk. Matt raised his eyebrows expectantly, and Kris gave him an awkward shrug. “Yeah, it was Adam.”

There was regret in Matt’s eyes. Kris recognized it because he’d felt the same way for a long time after they’d broken up. It was a sort of sad acceptance that even though they’d loved each other, it hadn’t been enough. “I should get back to work,” Matt said at last, forcing a smile as he stood up from his chair.

Kris followed him across the room, stopping Matt just before he reached the door. “Thanks for coming today. It meant a lot to Maddie, and I’m glad we had a chance to talk.” Kris didn’t know if it would make any difference in the long run, but this was the most open and honest conversation he and Matt had had in awhile.

“Me, too,” Matt said softly. He hesitated a second, as if he had more to say, then cleared his throat abruptly. “I’ve got to go. Let you get back to work. I’ll call Maddie tonight. See you later, Kris.” He watched as Matt walked down the hall and disappeared around the corner before closing the classroom door and going back to his desk.

He picked up his phone and dialed Adam, waiting impatiently for him to answer. “Hey,” Kris said at last when Adam finally came on the line. “I didn’t interrupt class, did I? I was pretty sure you had planning first thing.”

“No,” Adam assured him. “I was just on my office phone. I’ve been lining up things for the play. I can’t wait to tell the kids we’re doing _Superstar_ this year.” After weeks of stressing over the show, Adam had finally decided on _Jesus Christ Superstar_. Kris had heard the score so much in the last couple of weeks that he practically had the whole thing memorized. “I still can’t believe Gokey okayed it,” Adam said, “but I’ve got it in writing; he can’t take it back now.”

Kris laughed, but he knew Adam had really been worried that the principal wouldn’t approve the play. “It’s going to be amazing. I can’t wait to see it,” Kris said, smiling at the excitement in Adam’s voice.

“So how did it go this morning?” Adam asked. “Any problems?”

“Nope. Maddie was great. I’m going to eat lunch with Brooke’s class today, just to check on her.” Kris paused for a second, unsure if he should tell Adam about Matt showing up, but if he didn’t he was sure to find out some other way, and Kris didn’t want Adam to think he was keeping anything from him. “Matt was waiting when we got here. That helped some.”

“Yeah?” Adam asked. If he was bothered by that, he hid it well. Kris knew it had to be awkward for Adam that Matt was still around so much, but he never complained and, aside from that brief Parents’ Night incident, never seemed to mind. “That’s good. I know Maddie wanted him there.”

“I’m going to take her for ice cream after school. Do you want to go with us?” Kris asked, leaning back in his desk chair and staring at the ceiling. “I thought it would be a nice way to celebrate her first day.”

“I’d love to,” Adam told him. “I wish I could have seen her this morning before I left.” Kris could hear a bell ring over the phone, and Adam sighed. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you there. I’ve got to meet with Dave this afternoon to talk about the music for the play. That shouldn’t take long, though. I just need to see what he’s got in mind.”

“Okay, we’ll see you then,” Kris said. “Bye.” He smiled as he hung up the phone. Kris’ college had the best music education program in the state, and any random sample of band directors in the area would attest to that. David Cook was no exception. He’d graduated a few years before Kris, but their paths had inevitably crossed while at school, and Kris had gotten to know him better when he’d helped out at David’s first band camp, and for two years after that until he’d graduated and landed a full-time job. He was well-liked by both students and colleagues, and Kris couldn’t wait to see the show he and Adam would put together. They would definitely make a formidable team, pushing the students and accepting nothing less than their best.

Kris glanced at the clock on his wall. If he hurried, he’d have time to go check on Maddie before his first class. He’d only peek in at the window, make sure everything was still okay. She’d never even have to know that he was there. Kris rolled his eyes at himself. He was becoming the sort of overprotective parent that he hated to deal with, but the realization didn’t stop him from leaving his classroom and covering the short distance to Brooke’s.

He laughed when he saw Lil outside the door, her hands cupped around her face as she peered in through the tiny window. She turned at the sound of his shoes on the tile floor. “How are they?” he whispered, looking over her shoulder into the classroom. They seemed to be playing some kind of game. The kids were sitting in a circle on the floor, and Brooke was standing in the center, talking animatedly to them.

“I think they’re going to be fine,” Lil told him. “Our girls are growing up, huh?” Kris nodded, and she smiled at him. “My class is really looking forward to music class. They've already asked me when they were going. They're excited."

“Me, too,” Kris told her. Brooke glanced up at the window and saw them, flashing them a quick, indulgent smile before returning her attention to the kids. “We’ve been caught. I think it’s time to go,” Kris whispered.

They started down the hall together, pausing at the corner where they had to go their separate ways. “I’ll see you around,” Lil said with a wink, patting his shoulder. “I’ve got a feeling that’s not the last time either of us is going to be in front of that door today.”

“Probably not,” Kris admitted ruefully. Lil headed to the gym to pick up her class, and Kris went back to his classroom. His second year band students would be there soon. They were a talented group, and he was ready to dive in and get started this year. December would be here before he knew it.


	14. Chapter 14

"Okay, everybody listen up!" Adam called, standing in front of the stage and looking up at his cast. "I need you guys to get in your places at the end of 'Heaven on Their Minds'. These group numbers are still a little sloppy. I want everyone to know what they're supposed to be doing. If you have any questions, now is the time to ask."

There was a flurry of activity on stage as the kids moved around to get in their places, and Adam took a seat further back in the auditorium, wanting to make sure that all the voices were carrying. "Mr. C, whenever you're ready," he called to Dave, grinning as he used the kids' nickname for him.

The familiar music began to play, and Adam focused all of his attention on the stage. The kids had been working hard the last few weeks, and the show was coming together nicely, but when the whole cast was on stage, there were still some problems. Adam frowned and stood up, signaling to Dave for the band to stop. "Garrett, you need to be a little closer to Colton when he gets to the line about fighting. Start moving a few seconds earlier, and let's see how that goes. That line is directed at you. It needs to be obvious."

Adam watched, happy with the way the changes worked. They still needed more practice, but he was confident that they'd pull it together before opening night. The song ended, and they all looked expectantly out into the audience at him. "Once more from the top. Danny, I need you to sound a little more agitated when you come in, okay? These first few songs set the stage for everything that follows. The audience needs to feel your frustration."

Danny Noriega frowned and nodded before taking his place. Adam had been hesitant about casting him at first. Danny was unpredictable, but he was talented. He'd nailed the part of Judas in the audition, and so far he'd done a fantastic job. Adam settled back into his seat as the band started again. He listened, closing his eyes so that the action on stage didn't distract him.

The seat next to him squeaked, and Adam blinked his eyes open and glanced to his right. "Hey," he whispered, surprised as Kris sat down beside him. "I didn't think you were coming tonight. Where's Maddie?"

"She's at Lil's. When I told her I hadn't had a chance to come to rehearsal yet, she insisted on having Maddie over tonight. So how's it going?" Kris turned his attention to the stage, listening intently for a minute, nodding along unconsciously with the music, his fingers tapping out the rhythm against his knee. "They sound good. What have you been so stressed about?" he asked.

"It's getting there," Adam murmured as the music crescendoed and stopped. "That was better. Five minutes, then I want everyone back on stage," he called. A few students just sat down on the floor to wait, but most left in groups of two or three. Allison waved at them with a knowing smile on her face, and then sat down on the edge of the stage with Colton to work on their lines in the song.

As the band dispersed, Dave wandered out into the audience where they were. "Kris, good to see you, man," he said, patting his back. "What are you doing here?" Kris glanced at Adam, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and his eyes sparkling even in the dimly lit room.

“I’ve heard so much about the show, I wanted to check it out for myself. Although, honestly, I’m starting to get just a _little_ tired of it. Adam’s even started humming it in his sleep. The band sounds good, though. I’m impressed,” Kris answered. “Those trumpet players you have are phenomenal.”

“Thanks,” Dave told him, “I…Wait, what? Did you say Adam was…?” He snorted back laughter and shook his head. He looked at Adam, amused, and raised his eyebrows. “I knew you were seeing someone, but why didn’t you tell me it was Kris?” he whispered.

“I forget all you band people know each other,” Adam shrugged. Kris surely must have mentioned it at some point, but he’d been so focused on the play that it had escaped his attention. Some of the kids on stage were watching them curiously now, even though Adam was pretty sure they couldn’t hear what they were talking about. “We should probably get started again.”

Dave nodded. “Hey, Kris. Listen around Judas’ entrance and tell me if you think some of the low brass are coming in too soon. Something’s off. I could use an extra set of ears to figure out what it is. I can’t really hear anything over those 'phenomenal' trumpet players,” he grinned before leaving to round up the band.

“Okay, one minute,” Adam called, his eyes scanning the stage to see if everyone was there. With so many chorus members it was hard to tell, but all the principals were back. “Let’s do it from the top again. Alli, don’t move back so far after the part with Danny. Colton practically has to run to get to you.”

“Alright, Dave, whenever you’re ready,” Adam called, before settling back into his seat by Kris. “They really are doing good,” he whispered to Kris as Dave ran the band through a quick warm up. “It’s just small things that we’ve got to work out. They know the words…well, _most_ of them. I’m setting aside a week to work solely on ‘King Herod’s Song’. The choreography for that is going to be brutal. That and ‘Superstar’. I’m really dreading those.”

“I’m no expert,” Kris said softly, threading his fingers through Adam’s on their shared arm rest, “but it looks really good so far. I don’t know a lot about staging and all of that, but, _musically_ , yeah, there are a few problems, but it sounds incredible considering the amount of time you’ve been rehearsing.”

“I’m just afraid this was a little too ambitious. I have confidence in my kids, but…it’s demanding. Especially of Colton and Danny. They’re both on stage practically the entire time,” Adam sighed. He glanced at Kris, taking in the skeptical look on his face and laughed. “Ignore me. That could be a Tony-worthy performance up there, and I’d still be nervous.”

Kris squeezed his hand as the music started again. They were both lost in the performance, but Adam never forgot that Kris was next to him. His presence was going a long way to calm his frayed nerves, but he still wasn’t happy with Garrett and Colton’s interaction. During the next break he went to talk to them while Kris took a look at the score.

As Adam gave the boys instructions, he watched Kris and Dave from the corner of his eye, heads bent over the sheet music, talking quietly. It made him happy to see Kris jump right in, immersing himself in the play and music. He thought for the millionth time how lucky he was to have Kris, and it wasn’t until Garrett tapped on his shoulder that he realized he’d been distracted for a minute.

Adam met Kris back at the seats, but instead of sitting down, Kris just leaned over to whisper to him. “I’m going to pick up Maddie. It’s getting late. I’ll see you when you’re finished here?” Adam nodded and smiled up at him. “I really want to kiss you bye right now,” he said, his eyes flickering briefly to the kids on stage. “Guess that’ll have to wait until later.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” Adam murmured. Kris laughed, his nose wrinkling, and whispered bye again before starting up the aisle. Adam resisted the urge to turn around and watch him leave, focusing his attention back on the stage. “Okay, one more time.”

~*~*~*~

Adam closed the bedroom door behind him and grinned at Kris who had already slipped beneath the covers and was fluffing his pillows. It still seemed a little too good to be true that he could spend the night with Kris whenever he wanted, that he could wake up beside him and just hold him until they _had_ to get out of bed. Adam pulled the blanket back and sat down on what had become his side of the bed, smiling as Kris automatically shifted closer to him.

“I talked to my mom today, and she really wants Maddie to spend the weekend with them. They don’t see her as much now that she’s splitting her weekends between me and Matt. So, I was thinking that maybe we could take advantage of it and go on a proper date. One that doesn’t involve Chuck E. Cheese or the zoo,” Kris said, looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

“Chuck E. Cheese is really starting to grow on me, but I guess that would be okay,” Adam shrugged, laughing when Kris shot him a dirty look. He pulled him close and pressed his lips to Kris’ temple. “You know I don’t care where we go or what we do, as long as we’re together.”

Kris turned his head, kissing Adam and tugging at him until they were lying down, facing each other. “Good. Since you don’t have rehearsal, I thought we could just meet after work. Is that okay?”

Adam frowned and shook his head. He’d meant to tell Kris that he had plans Friday afternoon, but he’d just never found the right time. He’d sort of hoped that it wouldn’t come up. “I have an appointment after work. Could we meet around five?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Where are you going?” Kris asked curiously. Adam hesitated again, and Kris sat up, raising his eyebrows at him. “Where are you going that you can’t tell me about?” He didn’t sound angry, just confused.

“It’s not like that,” Adam insisted, wishing he hadn’t made such a big deal out of it. His reluctance was stupid, really, and there was no reason that he should keep it from Kris. If anything, it was something that they needed to talk about. “It’s just…I get tested every six months, okay? And it’s time. I haven’t been with anyone except you since the last one, so it’s not like I think I _need_ it or anything. I…”

Kris cut him off with a kiss. “You don’t have to apologize for being responsible,” he said softly, raking his fingers through Adam’s hair. “I’m glad you’ve been taking care of yourself.” Kris was quiet for a minute, a look on his face that Adam had learned meant he was thinking about something. “Would…would you mind if I went, too?”

“You want to get tested?” Adam asked in surprise.

“I haven’t been tested since college,” Kris shrugged. “This just feels like something we should do together. It’s the right thing to do, for both of us. I’m not sleeping with anyone else, you just said you weren’t. And… _if_ we decide in the future we don’t want to use condoms, we’ll have to do it anyway. I know we haven’t talked about that, or if it’s even something that you would want to consider. I just…”

It was Adam’s turn to interrupt Kris. He pulled Kris’ head down to press their lips together hard. His tongue slipped past Kris’ parted lips, the kiss slowly losing some of its urgency, but making up for it in tenderness. He pushed Kris back just an inch, still holding on to him tightly. “I would definitely consider it.”

“We should both do this. So…are we?” Kris asked, lying back down and resting his chin on Adam’s chest. Adam touched his cheek with a smile, a little overwhelmed by how much Kris’ request meant to him.

“I’d like that,” Adam said softly. “I’ll call in the morning to check if they can see us at the same time. It’s not _exactly_ the romantic date I’d envisioned, but…”

Kris laughed and stretched up to kiss him on the lips. “I think there’ll still be plenty of time for that afterwards. We’ve got the whole weekend to ourselves.” Kris was quiet for a second, then he smiled slightly. “I’m glad I’m doing this with you.”

“Me, too,” Adam told him.


	15. Chapter 15

Kris wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting but the nondescript brick building that Adam parked in front of Friday afternoon wasn’t it. It looked as though it could house an insurance agency or a lawyer’s office, but there wasn’t anything…clinical about it. In fact, Kris had driven by it a number of times without giving it a second thought. The doctor’s office he usually visited was sleek and modern with large glass windows and the furniture inside white and chrome with sharp lines and distinct curves. Matt had been like a kid in a candy store the first time he’d gone there, pointing out some of the unique architectural elements of the building, but Kris had always thought it a little cold. That certainly wasn’t the case with the room they were waiting in now.

He couldn't explain why he was so nervous as he and Adam sat side-by-side in the lobby that, littered with large overstuffed chairs and couches, looked more like it belonged in a hotel. Kris didn't particularly like doctors, no more than anyone else, but the actual procedure itself didn't bother him. He didn‘t mind needles, as least not as long as _he_ was on the receiving end. When it was Maddie it was a completely different story. He wasn't worried about the results either. As far as he was concerned this was just a formality, a precaution that was largely unnecessary, but one that was too important for them to ignore.

His nerves stemmed more from what this test represented than the actual test itself. He and Adam were preparing to take a big step, a step that required a certain level of commitment and trust. He _did_ trust Adam, more than almost anyone, but there were still those brief moments, usually in the middle of the night when he was alone, that this all still seemed too good to be true.

“Kris?” Adam asked, nudging his shoulder. He glanced at Adam with a sheepish grin, embarrassed when he realized Adam had been talking to him, and he hadn‘t heard a word he‘d said. “They called us,” he repeated, biting back a laugh and standing up. Kris looked up to see the nurse waiting impatiently for them at the door. He followed Adam quickly, down the narrow hallway to a lab area at the back.

“If you’ll have a seat,” the nurse said, motioning to a line of chairs along the wall, “a lab technician will be with you in just a minute.” Kris watched as she grabbed a chart off of a door and slipped into an exam room.

“Are you okay?” Adam asked softly, his hand resting on Kris’ shoulder. “You’ve been pretty quiet. Having second thoughts about this?” Kris shook his head quickly. He might not be able to fully explain why he was anxious, but he knew with absolute certainty that he wanted to do this. They could have gotten tested separately, on their own, but Kris felt strongly that this was something they needed to do as a couple.

“No,” Kris whispered. “Not at all.” Adam smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to his temple. Kris relaxed a little, feeling a lot less jumpy when they were finally called back to have their blood drawn. Adam went first, rolling up his sleeve and letting the lab tech, Ace according to his name tag, tie the tourniquet just above his elbow. Adam smiled reassuringly at Kris as Ace thumped his arm, poking and prodding until he found a good vein.

Kris focused on Adam’s face, trying hard to keep his eyes from drifting to his arm. Adam winced slightly as the needle went in, and Kris found himself with the same protective feeling he got when he took Maddie to the doctor. He pressed his palm hard against his knee, silently willing Ace to hurry up. Soon, he was taping a cotton ball to the crook of Adam’s elbow and changing out his equipment as they switched places.

“Didn’t hurt at all,” Adam commented, even though Kris thought he looked a little pale. Ace pulled on a new pair of gloves, repeating the procedure with Kris, chatting with them easily the whole time. Kris barely felt the prick and before he knew it, Ace was capping the tube and wrapping a label around it.

“Okay, you’re all done,” Ace told them. “Results usually take about a week. You’ll get a call when they come in. Do you have any questions?” When they both shook their heads, he continued, “If you’ll have a seat outside, the nurse will be with you shortly.”

Fifteen minutes later, they were finished and back in the car. Adam’s dry cleaner was down the street and while he stopped there to pick up some clothes, Kris went into the bookstore across the street. It was one of Maddie’s favorite stores, and he thought he’d get her a new book while he was there. He went straight to the children’s section in the back, browsing the books, looking for something that he thought Maddie would like.

He hadn’t been there very long when he heard his name. He didn’t have to turn around to know who it was, but he was still surprised when he glanced over his shoulder and saw Matt. “Hey,” Kris said. Things had been better between them since that day in his classroom, but Kris knew that it would be easy for them to fall back into the same pattern they’d been in before. “What are you doing here?” he asked with a smile.

“Carrie’s building a new house,” he said, referring to the owner. “I had to drop off some blueprints and thought I’d look around since I was here anyway. What about you?” Kris hesitated a second, raking his fingers nervously through his hair. Matt frowned. “Are you okay? Have you been to the doctor?” he asked, noticing the bandage on Kris’ arm.

“It’s nothing,” Kris insisted, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m fine.”

“Kris, I know how much you hate going to the doctor. You wouldn’t go unless it was important.” He dropped his voice and looked at Kris with concern. “Is something wrong? You’d tell me if there was, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course,” Kris told him, not seeing any point in telling Matt why he’d had blood work done. The truth would only hurt him, and Kris had done that enough lately. He and Matt were in a good place right now, and he didn’t want to ruin that. “I’m fine. Just a routine check-up. I promise I would tell you if I was sick.”

“Okay,” Matt nodded, but he didn’t seem convinced. Kris couldn’t really blame him. He was a terrible liar, and Matt knew him well enough to know when he wasn’t being truthful. Maybe it would be better to just tell him the truth, even if it did upset him, than to let him think something was wrong.

“Look, Matt, I…” Kris didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence. He glanced to his left to see Adam making his way down the aisle, through the maze of shelves. He smiled when he spotted Kris.

“There you are. Did you find anything for Maddie?” he asked before he cleared the aisle and saw Matt. For the first time since he’d known him, Adam seemed to be at a loss for words. The three of them stood there for a few awkward seconds. “Hi, Matt,” he managed at last.

“Adam,” Matt answered shortly with a nod. Adam scratched nervously at the tape on his arm, and Kris saw Matt’s eyes drop to the matching bandage. He really wished he’d told him the truth now as he watched realization cross Matt’s face. “I should get back to work.”

Kris glanced up at Adam as Matt left. “Go on,” Adam told him quietly, giving him a slight push. “I’ll just…look at the books.” Kris flashed him a grateful smile, promising himself he would make it up to Adam later, and went after Matt. He caught up with him on the sidewalk just outside the door.

Matt stopped walking when Kris called his name, turning with crossed arms to hear him out. “I didn’t want you to think that anything was wrong, I just…” Kris hesitated a second. “I didn’t know how to tell you that…”

“It’s really none of my business,” Matt interrupted flatly. Then he seemed to rethink that and shook his head. “No, you know what? Screw that. Just because we’re not together anymore…you’re still important to me. I don’t want to see you rush into something and regret it.”

Kris took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I appreciate the concern, but it’s unnecessary. This is between me and Adam, and if I’m making a mistake, it’s one I’m willing to make. But that’s for me to decide, not you.”

Matt opened his mouth to respond, then snapped it shut. “Fine,” he murmured at last. “You’re right. It’s your mistake to make.” He turned then and started walking again. This time, Kris let him go. He stood out on the sidewalk by himself long after Matt had disappeared around the corner. He heard the door open behind him, then felt Adam’s arm wrap around his shoulders.

“Everything okay?” he asked as Kris glanced up at him. Kris nodded, relaxing against Adam for a second. It wasn’t okay, far from it, but he had Adam and that went a long way towards making him feel better.

“Come on, I still need to get a book,” Kris said, sighing and ducking reluctantly out from under Adam‘s arm.

“Um,” Adam hesitated, holding up a plastic bag heavy with books. “I may have gone overboard just a little, but they all looked so good. I couldn’t pick.” Kris stared at him a second before he started laughing. He rested his head against Adam’s shoulder, smiling up at him.

“Thank you,” Kris whispered.

~*~*~*~

The following week seemed to fly by and before Kris even had time to really think about it, their test results were back. He and Adam were sitting on his couch, envelopes in their hands. Kris stared down at his name written in blue ink across the plain white envelope, not sure why he was so nervous. He glanced at Adam, nodding when their eyes met. Silently, they both tore open their letters and pulled the paper out.

Kris scanned it quickly, finding the bold, all caps negative with ease. He grinned and looked up at Adam. He had a matching smile on his face as he waved the letter in front of him. “Negative,” Adam told him, laughing when Kris pounced on him, pinning him against the couch arm as he kissed him. “You weren’t worried, were you?” Adam asked when Kris had settled back on the sofa.

“No,” Kris answered. “I’m still glad we did it though.”

“Me, too,” Adam said quietly. “There’s something I need to tell you, though. Kris, I’ve never…” He rubbed the back of his neck as he searched for the right words. “I’m _always_ safe. I’ve never been with anyone long enough to even consider this. I’m glad it’s with you, but…”

“Hey, just because we _can_ , doesn’t mean we have to. There’s no rush, Adam. If we decide we want to do that, then we can. The test is out of the way, but it doesn’t mean there’s any reason that we _have_ to,” Kris interrupted.

He was well aware that Adam had been with more men than him, and Kris couldn’t deny that it sort of gave him a thrill that he had the advantage over Adam in this case; that he had done something Adam hadn’t, and when, _if_ , they decided to forgo the condoms, Adam’s first time would be with him.

“Is Matt the only one you’ve…” Adam trailed off and looked down at the floor, almost as if he didn’t want to finish the question. Kris curled up next to him, knowing that they’d have to have this conversation sooner or later, and they might as well get it over with now.

“Are you asking me how many guys I’ve slept with?” Kris asked, his cheek on Adam’s shoulder, his hand resting on his chest, not looking at him. “Or how many I’ve had unprotected sex with?”

Adam was silent for a minute, then he finally shrugged. “Either.”

“Four,” Kris told him softly. “There was this guy in high school. We didn’t actually have sex, but we fooled around a little bit. Then Matt, obviously, and this guy senior year when Matt and I broke up for awhile. And now you. That’s it. And to answer your other question, yeah, just Matt.” He glanced up at Adam expectantly. “You?”

“More than four,” Adam admitted. “I don’t know exactly. I guess it depends on your definition. Double digits, either way. A few guys here and there that I saw sort of regularly. A handful of one night stands. A couple of friends that I _definitely_ shouldn’t have slept with.” Adam sounded hesitant, as if by telling him all of this, Kris was going to suddenly change his mind about him.

Kris turned so that he was facing Adam, his knees pressed against the back of the sofa. “I don’t care how many guys you’ve been with in the past,” Kris whispered, touching his cheek tenderly. “I only care about who you’re going to be with in the future.”

“You,” Adam murmured, wrapping his arm around Kris’ waist, sliding forward on the couch so that he could hold Kris to him tightly. Adam buried his face against his neck, pressing his lips to his collarbone. His words were muffled, but Kris didn‘t have any trouble making them out. “Just you.”


	16. Chapter 16

"Ow," Adam moaned as Kris' fingers dug into his shoulders. Kris hesitated a second, and Adam glanced over his shoulder with a frown, wincing as he did. "Don't stop," he pleaded, dropping his head back down onto the pillow, his arms curved up around it. "That feels amazing."

Adam had spent most of the day working on sets with his classes. Dave and Kris had shown up after school to help out and, along with his students, they'd made a lot of progress. Now, however, he was so sore he could barely move. A hot shower had washed away the paint and some of the pain, but Kris' hands were working wonders as they moved across his bare back.

"Oh, right there," Adam groaned as Kris began kneading his sore muscles again. Kris chuckled and leaned over him, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades and letting his lips linger there as he continued to work his magic on Adam’s aching arms. Adam let out another quiet whimper, and Kris flopped back on the bed next to him, his hand still rubbing at his neck.

“Is that any better?” Kris asked, smiling sympathetically at him.

“A lot. Thank you,” he said softly, lifting his head off the pillow just enough to catch Kris’ lips with his. It had been a long week, and Adam was perfectly content to lie here in bed with Kris all weekend until Matt brought Maddie back. Adam loved when she was there and the three of them could do things together, but he couldn’t deny that it was nice when he and Kris had some time alone, too. Adam had slept there practically every night the last two weeks, but with Maddie in the next room it wasn’t always practical or possible for them to take advantage of that.

Adam grimaced as he rolled onto his back, marveling at his fantastic timing. He finally had Kris all to himself, naked and in bed, and he was so fucking sore that the likelihood of having sex was probably about as good as suddenly coming to the realization that he was straight. Kris curled up next to him, torturing him by scattering kisses across his shoulder and neck, seemingly intent on touching every inch of skin with his lips while his hand moved slowly over Adam's chest.

Adam moaned again, but not in pain this time. “God, Kris,” he murmured. “You’re not playing fair.” Kris propped himself on his elbows, grinning at him mischievously in a way Adam still hadn’t gotten completely used to when they were in bed. He loved how Kris could go from playful to sensual in a matter of seconds, his eyes dancing with laughter one minute and darkening with desire the next.

“Have I ever told you that you’re a control freak?” Kris asked. He didn’t mean it in a bad way, Adam could tell that much from the way his mouth turned up at the corners, and he couldn’t really deny the accusation either. He wasn’t good at giving control to other people, and he was even worse at delegating, which was probably the reason he was in so much pain tonight. The kids could have handled a lot of the tasks he’d taken upon himself. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” Adam answered without even thinking about it. It wasn’t something that he’d spent a lot of time mulling over, but he didn’t have to. He trusted Kris implicitly and wherever this conversation was going, he’d happily follow.

“Good,” Kris murmured with a smile. He reached across the bed and pulled open the nightstand drawer, grabbing the condoms and lube and dropping them on the mattress. Adam watched him, wary but curious, not sure what exactly Kris had in mind. As long as he didn’t have to move, though, he was fine.

Adam’s breath caught as he watched Kris coat his fingers in lube, then spread his legs and touch himself, his lip caught between his teeth in concentration as his fingers slipped inside. Adam’s mouth fell open a little as he sucked in a lungful of air, staring as Kris’ fingers twisted in and out. Kris’ eyes drifted closed, his head tilted back slightly and a low moan escaping his lips. Adam liked to take his time, driving Kris as close to the edge as possible, until he was begging to have Adam inside of him, but Kris worked quickly and efficiently.

Adam tried to wet his lips, but his whole mouth was dry, his breath coming in shallow pants, his entire body trembling by the time Kris reached for a condom. Adam raised his arm off the bed and caught Kris’ hand, their eyes locking for a minute as he tugged it from his fingers and shook his head, tossing it carelessly over the side of the bed. Kris straddled him, leaning over him until their faces were only a few inches apart. His brow was furrowed, his eyes searching Adam’s face. “Are you sure?” he whispered, his voice catching as Adam brought his hand to his cheek and nodded.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Adam answered just as softly, the last words cut off as Kris crushed their mouths together. Kris let the kiss linger for a minute, then he was sitting up, squeezing more lube into his palm and reaching behind him to stroke Adam’s cock. His hand wrapped firmly around the base, Kris rose up and slowly lowered himself, taking Adam inside inch by inch.

Adam was surprised by how completely different the sensation was without the thin layer of latex between them, and he couldn’t help but wonder how different it felt to Kris. “Oh, God, Adam,” he gasped, bracing his hands against Adam’s chest, leaning into him as he started to move. His sore muscles all but forgotten, Adam brought his hands to Kris’ hips, gripping tightly as Kris rocked above him.

If this was the result of him giving up control, he was going to have to learn to do it more often. Seeing the pleasure play across Kris’ face, the way he shuddered as he took Adam’s cock as deep as he could, turned Adam on in a way he’d never experienced before. Adam brought his knees up, his feet flat against the mattress for leverage, thrusting up as best he could. Kris leaned back a little, raising himself slightly on his knees to make it easier for Adam. It still amazed Adam how well they moved together, instinctively knowing what the other wanted without the need for words.

Kris was moving faster now, the muscles in his arms taut as he supported himself over Adam. His skin was flushed and hot to the touch as Adam’s hands slid up his back. Kris leaned in, pressing his lips to Adam’s hungrily, his tongue pushing insistently into his mouth. Adam raised his head from the pillow, wresting control of the kiss from Kris, his hands tangling in Kris’ hair.

Kris tore his mouth away, sitting back up, his breathing ragged and coming in gasps. Adam could tell from the look on his face that he was close, and he ran his tongue across his palm, finally letting his hand wrap around Kris’ cock, already hard and dripping precome onto his stomach. Kris tensed but kept moving, biting his lip hard as Adam stroked him. His eyes never left Adam’s face, until it all became too intense, and he had to squeeze them shut, shuddering as he came.

The hot liquid made Adam groan as it covered his hand and torso. Kris was trembling above him, his eyes fluttering open to look at Adam even though they were still a little cloudy and dazed. Deliberately, Adam raised his hand, slowly sucking his fingers into his mouth and licking the come from them. Kris stared at him a second, then dipped his head to kiss him again, and Adam knew Kris could taste himself on his lips, salty and slightly sweet.

Kris was still a little shaky, but he began to move again as he pressed his lips to Adam’s neck. “I want…” he murmured, gasping and swallowing hard as Adam thrust up unexpectedly. Kris nipped at the sensitive skin just above his collar bone and tried again. “I want to feel you come inside me,” he whispered. Adam wouldn’t even have been sure he’d said it except for the impish twinkle in his eyes as he pulled back a couple of inches to look at him.

“Fuck, Kris,” Adam muttered, gazing up at him with a mix of awe and disbelief. It still surprised him sometimes that Kris could look like the boy-next-door and then say something like _that_ as casually as if he were asking about the weather. “What are you trying to do to me?”

Kris didn’t answer his question, just leaned back, speeding up a little. Adam focused on the sensation of Kris moving over him, thrusting up to counter him, sinking impossibly deep into Kris. He gave one final thrust as spasms racked his body, crying out as Kris tightened around him. Kris’ pace slowed until he wasn’t moving anymore at all, and he lay on top of Adam for a few seconds until he could gather the strength to roll off.

Adam missed his solid weight immediately and would have pulled Kris back, only now that the adrenaline was starting to subside, the ache in his arms and shoulders was beginning to resurface. But with a happy, drowsy feeling spreading over him and Kris' come drying on his stomach, not to mention the taste still lingering on his lips, he couldn’t really bring himself to care.

“I don’t want to move ever again,” Adam said softly. “I’m not sure I _can_.”

Kris chuckled and turned his head to drop a light kiss on his shoulder. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered. Adam sighed and nodded, his eyes drifting closed at his words. He could hear water running in the bathroom, and then felt the bed dip as Kris settled back beside him. Adam blinked his eyes open when Kris placed the warm washcloth on his stomach. The look on Kris’ face was tender as he gently cleaned him up, taking his time until he was sure he hadn’t missed anything and they wouldn’t wake up sticky in the morning.

“Thank you,” Adam told him as Kris tugged the blankets over them and curled up next to him. Adam was starting to have trouble remembering what things had been like before Kris. He’d become a part of his life so completely and totally that falling asleep next to him felt like the most natural thing in the world, as if he’d been doing it for years. Adam certainly didn’t mind, though. There wasn’t much from his old life that was worth remembering.

Kris stretched up to touch his lips affectionately, leaning over to turn off the lamp before resting his head back on Adam’s chest and draping his arm across his waist. “No problem,” Kris said, his fingers drawing lazy circles on Adam’s hip. Adam held him close, his hand rubbing up and down his back soothingly. They were silent for awhile, the only sounds their quiet breathing and the rattle of the heater coming to life as the temperature dropped outside.

Adam was almost sure Kris was asleep until his voice broke the quietness of the room. “Adam?” he asked softly, his hand reaching up in the dark to touch his face. Adam’s hand stilled on his back, and he smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice,” he murmured. Adam’s chest tightened, and he turned his head to press a kiss to Kris’ palm. He wanted to tell Kris how much tonight had meant to him, how amazing and giving and wonderful he thought he was, how much he _loved_ him, but the words wouldn’t come. He wanted to hold onto that a little bit longer, afraid that if he dared to voice his feelings out loud, it would all disappear. He couldn’t reduce what he felt for Kris down to a few words anyway. It just wasn’t possible.

“I’ll talk all night if it’ll make you happy,” Adam said. He was joking, sort of, but he must have sounded more serious than he’d intended because Kris hesitated just a second before he laughed, his breath tickling against Adam’s chest.

“It would,” Kris answered, and Adam didn‘t need to be able to see him to know that he was grinning, “but you don’t have to do that.” He stroked Adam’s cheek one more time before wrapping his arm around him again. “Goodnight.”

Adam smiled, the drowsiness beginning to take over again. He was happy and sated, and he couldn’t ask for anything else in his life. Right now, in this moment, everything was perfect. He raked his fingers lightly through Kris’ hair and whispered, “Goodnight.”


	17. Chapter 17

The door to Kris' classroom opened, and Matt peeked inside. They'd barely spoken, except when absolutely necessary for the last few weeks, opting instead to communicate via voice mail and texts. They couldn't go on like this, but Kris was stubbornly refusing to take the first step, not when he hadn't done anything wrong.

"I thought we agreed to meet at Brooke's classroom," Kris said, glancing back down at the flute in his hands, satisfied that the key he'd been working on wasn't going to stick anymore. Kris didn't hurry as he took it apart and placed it carefully in the velvet-lined case, a loud pop echoing through the room as he snapped the latches closed with practiced ease.

"We did," Matt answered, clearing his throat and stepping into the room, pulling the door shut firmly behind him. "But I wanted to talk to you first." Matt hesitated a second, then crossed the room and leaned against Kris' desk.

Kris sighed and looked up at him. He didn't want to argue with Matt, not before they went to their first parent-teacher conference with Brooke. Maddie was with her grandmother since Adam had play rehearsal after school. Kris' mother was thrilled to get to spend extra time with her, and Maddie had been excited about seeing her, too. Kris knew that his two favorite girls would have a blast together and, right now, he wished that he was with them. "What?"

"I wanted to apologize for what happened at the bookstore," Matt said quietly, surprising Kris who had been preparing for another fight. "I was way out of line. I don't have any say in your life anymore and that's just hard to get used to. I'm not making excuses. I acted like a jerk, and you have every right to be angry with me."

Kris didn't know exactly what to say to that. "Thank you," he said at last, grateful for the apology. Maybe now they could both get over this pettiness and move on. "Look, we're always going to be in each other's lives because of Maddie. It'll be a lot easier if we can get along. I don't want to fight with you."

"I don't want to fight with you, either. I know I've made this difficult, and I'm sorry. You don't deserve that. I just got used to it being the two of us, then the three of us, and it's hard to let go. I'm sure Adam's a good guy, you wouldn't be with him if he wasn't, but that doesn't make it any easier. If anything, it makes it harder," Matt told him with a sigh.

"It hasn't been easy for me either, you know," Kris said, his words coming out with more frustration than he intended. "But sooner or later, one of us was bound to start dating again, Matt. I know that's been a big adjustment, for _all_ of us, and, I'm not going to lie, it probably would have hurt if you'd started seeing someone else first."

Matt was silent for a second as he glanced down awkwardly at his watch. "We're going to be late for our first parent-teacher conference," he said, changing the subject the way he always did when Kris brought up something he didn't want to talk about. As much as it annoyed Kris, it also made him happy that he could still see some semblance of the Matt he had known when lately, more and more, he felt as if he didn't know him at all. "She's growing up so fast."

"Yeah," Kris nodded, pushing his chair back from his desk and standing up. He‘d let Matt get away with it this time because he was right; they were going to be late. "She still waves at me in the hall, but I'm waiting for the day when she walks right by me without acknowledging me. I remember doing that to my parents." They left his classroom and walked down the hall to Brooke's. Kris peeked in through the window, spotting her by the table at the back of the empty room. He knocked lightly on the door and cracked it open. "Hey. Are we late?"

"No, come in," Brooke smiled. She'd scrounged up two more adult chairs from somewhere and placed them in front of her desk, and she motioned to them as she sat down behind her desk. Once they were all settled, she got right to the point. "Maddie is doing really well. She's bright and inquisitive. I love having her in my class. I wish I had more like her," Brooke told them.

"But she's playing with the other kids? Interacting with them?" Kris asked, relieved when Brooke nodded. Even as well as camp had gone, he'd still been worried about how Maddie would adjust to school and her classmates.

"There's just one thing, really, that I feel like I need to discuss with you," Brooke said. She wasn't smiling anymore, and she looked decidedly uncomfortable. Kris frowned, waiting for her to continue. "There was an incident today, and I hope it was an isolated event and won't happen again, but I think you should know. I would want to know. One of the boys in the class was teasing her today… because she doesn’t have a mom."

Kris felt for a minute as though his heart had stopped. He was vaguely aware of Matt's hand on his shoulder, and he glanced at him as he spoke. "Because she doesn't have a mom or because she has two dads?" Matt asked, voicing the question Kris couldn‘t quite make himself ask. When he and Matt had first talked about adopting this had been his biggest fear, the one thing that had made him hesitate. People could be ignorant and stupid and _cruel_ , and he didn’t want his child to suffer because of who her parents were. It wasn’t fair, and so far they’d shielded her from any negativity as best they could. Kris looked at Brooke when she didn't say anything, searching her face, the answer obvious in her eyes. "That's what I thought," Matt muttered.

"I've talked to him and let him know that I will not accept that kind of behavior in my class. He apologized to Maddie, and they were playing together by the end of the day. I don't think it was malicious, and I really don't think it'll be a problem, but I wanted you to be aware of it. I'm going to talk to his parents, too," Brooke said. “I teach my kids to respect each other, and I won’t tolerate teasing or bullying.”

“I’m glad she’s in your class because I know you’ll look out for her. Thanks, Brooke,” Kris said. “Not all teachers would be so understanding of the situation. We’ll talk to Maddie, but if anything else happens…”

“I really don’t think it will, but I will absolutely let you know if there are any more problems. Maddie is a wonderful little girl. You two have obviously done a fantastic job with her. I’m just sorry this happened at all,” Brooke told them, smiling sympathetically. “If you don’t have any questions, I just need to give you Maddie’s progress report,” she said, thumbing through a folder full of papers and pulling a sheet of paper near the top out. She reached across the desk and handed it to Kris. “Like I said, she’d doing very well.”

“Thanks,” Matt answered, leaning over to look at the paper. Kris couldn’t deny the pride he felt as his eyes scanned down the page. Maddie wasn’t just doing well, she was doing _exceptionally_ well. They thanked Brooke again and told her bye. When they were alone in the hall, Kris slumped against the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Are you okay?” Matt asked, squeezing his arm.

“Yeah,” Kris nodded. “I just want everything to be perfect for her.”

“I know,” Matt shrugged. “I do, too, but…that’s not realistic, Kris. We’ve got to prepare her for the fact that not everyone is going to be as understanding as Brooke. I wish they were, but they’re not. We’re lucky we live in as liberal an area as we do. It could be a lot worse.”

Kris knew that Matt was right. They’d known going into this that it wouldn’t be easy, but having Maddie in his life more than made up for any difficulties they faced. He wouldn’t give up being a parent for anything in the world. He loved her more than he’d thought it was possible to love another human being.

“I need to go pick her up. Can we talk about how we’re going to deal with this later?” Kris asked. Matt nodded, and Kris gave him a grateful smile. He didn’t want to think about it right now. He just wanted to hug his daughter and tell her how much he loved her. “Great. I’ll give you a call, okay?”

“Okay,” Matt answered. He started down the hall, towards the front entrance where he’d parked, then turned back to look at Kris. “Give her a hug from me, too, alright?” Kris smiled and nodded. He waited until Matt turned the corner before heading back to his classroom to turn off the lights and lock everything up.

His phone rang as he walked to the car. “Hey, Adam,” he said, opening the car door and slipping behind the wheel. “Taking a break?”

“Not exactly. I just wanted to see how it went with Brooke,” he said. Kris could hear singing in the background, and he could picture Adam huddled over in the dark auditorium, furtively calling him as the kids rehearsed. The image made him smile.

He gave Adam a shortened version of their meeting with Brooke. “I’m going to pick Maddie up now. I think I just need to spend some time with her. I know you were planning to come over tonight, but…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adam interrupted. “Make sure Maddie’s okay. I’ll survive a night without you. It’ll be difficult, but I’ll manage. Call and let me know how she is, okay?” Adam said, leaving Kris wondering for the millionth time how he had gotten so lucky. He hung up the phone and pulled out of the parking lot feeling a little bit better than before.

He barely paid any attention to the speed limit as he drove to his parents' house. He knocked on the door and let himself in, calling out to his mother as he closed the door behind him. “Mama? Maddie?” He finally found them in the living room, deeply engrossed in an episode of _Hannah Montana_.

“Daddy!” Maddie giggled, scrambling off the couch and running to him. Kris picked her up, hugging her to him tightly for a minute. “I had so much fun with Grandma. Look, she painted my toes,” Maddie told him, sticking her foot out so that he could see the pink polish on her nails.

“Wow, that’s pretty,” Kris told her. “Can you go put your shoes on and get your backpack?” he asked, putting her back on the ground. “Then we’ll be ready to go.” Maddie nodded and ran into the kitchen where she’d apparently left her things.

“Is everything okay?” his mother asked, leveling him with her best maternal look that told him to not even bother lying. “What did her teacher say? How’s she doing?” Kim looked concerned as she crossed her arms and waited for him to answer her questions.

“She’s doing great,” Kris said. “Brooke said she wished she had more students like Maddie.” Kris hesitated. “Did she say anything to you about anything that happened during class?” Kim shook her head and frowned. Kris lowered his voice as he told his mother what had happened, and when he’d finished, she looked as if she were about to cry.

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” she said, hugging him. “I wish I could tell you that it gets easier or that you get used to it, but you don’t. You always want to protect your kids, no matter how old they are.” She pulled away as Maddie came running back into the room, turning away to wipe at her eyes.

“Ready to go, sweetie?” he asked, taking her backpack and helping her put on her coat. "Tell Grandma bye." Kris watched with a smile as his mother and daughter hugged each other. This was why he had wanted to be a parent, this sense of family and unconditional love. He'd been lucky enough to have that growing up, and Kris had wanted to be able to give that back to his own child.

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. They ate dinner at the tiny table in their kitchen, Maddie chattering excitedly about school and the afternoon she'd spent with his mother. She didn't say a word about any teasing, which made Kris wonder if it hadn't really bothered her or if she was keeping it from him. He didn't want to think it was the latter. He'd always thought Maddie knew that she could talk to him about anything, and he didn't like the idea of her keeping things from him, especially not something like this.

Aside from that, Kris really enjoyed spending some quality time with just Maddie.   
Between school and the time she spent with Matt, they weren't spending as much time together as they had over the summer. A lot of the time that Maddie was with him, Adam was there, too, and Kris loved that, but it meant that he hadn't had a lot of one-on-one time with her lately.

As it got closer to her bedtime, Maddie got quieter and a little more withdrawn. As she crawled onto her bed and into his lap, Kris wondered if she was finally going to talk to him about what had happened today. "Is something wrong?" he asked, brushing her hair out of her face as she looked up at him.

"Where's Adam?" she asked, taking him completely by surprise. That had been the last thing he'd expected, and he couldn't understand why Maddie would be worried about where Adam was. He knew she'd gotten used to Adam reading her bedtime stories, complete with voices, but surely she could make do with him for one night.

"Adam's staying at his apartment tonight. Why?" Kris asked, frowning.

"You still like him, don't you?" she said softly. Kris hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head. He'd spent all weekend with Adam, but he'd forgotten that Maddie hadn't seen him since Thursday night. Adam had gone home to take care of a few things Sunday before Matt dropped her off, and she'd already been asleep when he got back. He was usually gone in the mornings before Maddie woke up.

"Of course I do, sweetheart," he told her. "I like Adam a lot. I just wanted to spend some time with you tonight, that's all." Today had been an emotional rollercoaster, and it actually made Kris feel a little better to know that Maddie missed Adam when he wasn't there. "How would you like to go watch Adam's play rehearsal tomorrow after school?"

Maddie had been asking to go, but Kris hadn't taken her yet. There were some parts of the play that he was afraid would scare her, but if he gave Adam a heads up, he could avoid those while they were there. "I want to go," she told him, grinning.

"Then we will," Kris said. "But right now, you need to go to sleep." He climbed off the bed and tucked her in, leaning over to kiss her forehead. "Sleep tight, sweetie," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Daddy," she said, snuggling under her blankets. Kris turned off the light and closed her door. He grabbed the phone off the end-table and settled on the couch to call Matt. He'd had a few nice, distracting hours, but now he had to face reality. Just because Maddie wasn't upset didn't mean that what had happened today wasn't a problem. He and Matt had to decide how they were going to handle it, not just this time, if it happened again in the future.

The phone at Matt's apartment went unanswered, and his cell went straight to voicemail. Kris left a message and dropped the phone on the coffee table with a frown. He was flipping through the channels on the TV, wondering why he even bothered paying for cable, when a quiet knock at the door took him by surprise.

"Hey," Matt said hesitantly when Kris opened the door. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Adam's not here, if that's what you're asking," Kris told him, moving out of the doorway and letting him in. Kris followed him to the sofa, and they both sat down. "I just tried to call you. Maddie hasn’t said anything about what happened today. I don’t know if we should bring it up or wait for her to come to us. I don’t want her to be upset because she thinks we’re upset.”

“I’ve been thinking about it since we left the school, and I don’t know what to do either,” Matt sighed. “I don’t want her to think it’s okay for people to say stuff like that, but…I also don’t want to make it a big deal because I think that defeats the purpose. She has a family that loves her and that’s all that should matter.”

“So what do we do?“ Kris leaned back against the couch and looked away from Matt.

“I think we should wait,” Matt said finally. “See if Maddie brings it up or if it happens again. If it doesn’t, then I think we should just casually give her the ‘different types of families’ speech again. Like I said, I don’t think we should make the fact that she has two dads a big deal because it’s _not_ , and it shouldn’t be.”

Kris nodded, relieved that he and Matt were on the same page. He didn’t want to ignore the problem, but he didn’t want to make it into one either. Kids said and did stupid things all the time, it was a part of growing up that every kid faced. As much as he hated it, it probably wouldn’t be the last time Maddie would hear something like that. All they could really do was make sure she knew how much they loved her. “We’ll wait and see what happens.”

Matt was quiet for a minute, and then he chuckled. “Did we just agree on something?” he asked, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows. “I wasn’t really expecting that. I’m not sure how to react.”

“The world didn’t even end,” Kris said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. It had been a long time since he and Matt had been this at ease with one another, and it was nice. It was easy to forget that they hadn’t been miserable the whole time they were together, but moments like this reminded Kris of the good times, of the easy friendship he and Matt had shared. It made him think maybe it was possible to recover some of that.

“Not this time,” Matt said with mock seriousness, “but we probably still shouldn’t make a habit of it.” Kris bit back a laugh and nodded his agreement. Matt grinned and looked down at the floor before glancing up at Kris. “I should go. It’s getting late.”

Kris climbed to his feet a little reluctantly and walked him to the door. “Thanks for coming over so we could talk about this,” he said. A knock at the door interrupted him before he could say anything else. Kris checked the peephole, surprised to see Adam on the other side. He hesitated a second before opening the door. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Adam answered. “I think I left some tests here that I was going to grade tonight. I just need to…” He finally saw Matt and trailed off, glancing back and forth between them. “Sorry, I didn’t realize…”

“I was just leaving,” Matt spoke up. “I’ll talk to you later, Kris. Adam.” He gave him a quick nod and slipped out the door past him. It was probably the most civil exchange they’d had yet. It wasn’t much, but Kris would take it.

“Come in,” Kris said, letting Adam in and shutting the door behind him. “I’m glad you came over. I know what I said earlier, but…Maddie‘s already asleep. You could stay,” he smiled, stretching up to press a kiss to his mouth. Adam’s lips were warm beneath his, his hand settling on Kris’ waist, but something was wrong. Adam wasn’t pulling away, but he wasn’t responding the way he usually did, either. Kris drew back and frowned up at him. “What’s the matter?”

Adam raised his eyebrows. “You could have told me Matt was coming over. I mean, after what happened today, I would have understood.” He didn’t sound angry, just hurt, maybe a little jealous which, under different circumstances, Kris might have found amusing. But he didn’t want Adam to think that he’d cancelled their plans and gone behind his back to have Matt over.

“I didn’t invite him,” Kris said, trying not to sound defensive. “And if I had, I wouldn’t hide it from you. I thought you knew that. I wouldn’t do that to you, Adam.” Kris knew it wasn’t easy for Adam that Matt was around so much and, as understanding as he was, there were times when it bothered him. Kris couldn’t really blame him for that. If the roles were reversed, he would hate knowing that Adam was spending time with his ex, but Kris still couldn’t help feeling a little annoyed that he was having to explain himself to Adam.

Adam faltered and sat down on the couch with a sigh. “I know you wouldn’t,” he said at last, rubbing his face. “I’m sorry. I just really didn’t expect to find Matt here. It took me by surprise,” he said, reaching for Kris’ hand and pulling him down onto the sofa beside him. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I‘m sorry,” he repeated. Kris' irritation dissipated as Adam raised his hand and tenderly touched his cheek. “Forgive me?”

Kris bit his lip and nodded, “Yeah.” He couldn’t stay mad at Adam. He didn’t _want_ to. He was silent for a minute as he rested his head against Adam’s shoulder. The tension eased from the room as he sat there looking at their entwined hands, Adam’s thumb moving over the back of his in soothing circles. “So… will you stay?” Kris asked softly, glancing up at him.

“Of course,” Adam whispered, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Of course, I will.”


	18. Chapter 18

Adam left his office and walked up the hall to the auditorium to make sure all the lights were off. He’d ended rehearsal early because tonight was the Fall Festival at Maddie’s school. Kris had to work the concession stand, and he was dropping Maddie off so Adam could help put the finishing touches on her costume and then bring her to the school.

Maddie had been talking about it all week, and Adam couldn’t wait to see her all decked out in her fairy costume. He’d laughed for a solid minute when Kris told him what Maddie had decided to be for Halloween, but he’d been the dutiful boyfriend and called his friend at the local costume shop to arrange for one before they were all taken.

Pushing the door to the auditorium open, Adam frowned as he heard music coming from inside. The door shut behind him with a quiet click, and he glanced up at the stage, fully prepared to yell and give a lecture until he saw Allison. She was standing off to one side, the portable CD player they used for rehearsal when the band wasn’t there blaring loudly. She was so immersed in the music she didn’t even seem to notice him.

“Alli?” he called, leaning against the stage. “What are you doing? Rehearsal’s over.” She glanced over her shoulder with a grin and turned off the CD. “Everyone’s gone. Why are you still here?” Adam asked.

“I just wanted to work on my last song,” she told him, sitting down on the edge next to him, her legs dangling off the side of the stage. “I don’t think I’ve got it yet. Alex is nailing his part, and I’m _not_ going to let him out sing me,” she gave him a pointed look and shook her head.

“I’m glad you want to rehearse, but Alli, you’re doing great,” Adam said. “And he’s not out singing you. Give him a break. He’s only featured in two songs. You have a solo,” Adam reminded her. “It’s not a competition. This production succeeds or fails based on how you guys work together.”

Allison sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” she shrugged. “I’ve heard the speech before. So why aren’t we having rehearsal?” She raised her eyebrows expectantly. “You don’t cancel rehearsal. I’ve been in your class for four years, and you’ve never let us leave early. I’m not complaining,” she said quickly, “just curious. So?”

His kids had grown accustomed to seeing Kris and Maddie around and most of them seemed to have worked out that Kris was his boyfriend, but Adam didn’t make a big deal about it. Since this was Allison, though, and she already knew more than she had any business knowing, there didn't seem to be any point in evading her question.

“Never mind, I think I’ve got my answer,” she grinned, nodding to the back of the auditorium. Adam looked over his shoulder, smiling when he saw Kris and Maddie coming down the aisle toward them. “Hi, Maddie,” Allison called, waving at her. Maddie let go of Kris’ hand and ran the rest of the way to the front where they were waiting.

“Hi, Allison. Do you like my costume?” she asked, twirling so the sheer pastel layers of fabric swirled around her legs. Allison jumped from the stage so she could pick Maddie up and sit her on the edge to examine the intricate design of the costume. By the time Kris reached them, Allison was busy trying to figure out how the wings attached to the back.

“Hey,” Kris greeted them, handing Adam a wand and a wreath of flowers for Maddie’s hair. “I’m assuming you have a better idea of what to do with that than I do,” he grinned. He gave Adam Maddie’s coat, too, with a frown. “She has to wear that until she gets inside the school. Even if it does squash her wings,” Kris told him, glancing at Maddie. “You behave for Adam. If you give him any trouble, you will go home and go to bed, understand?”

Maddie nodded, but Adam didn’t think she was really paying much attention to Kris. "Alli, would you get the make-up case from my office and take Maddie to the dressing room?" he asked. "I'll be there in just a minute." She gave him a knowing smile and nodded, taking Maddie's hand and leading her out of the auditorium.

"Make-up?" Kris asked uncertainly, raising his eyebrows. "She's only five. Is that really necessary?"

"Relax," Adam grinned. "She just needs a little glitter, that's all. But I won’t do it if you don’t want me to,” he conceded, reaching for Kris’ hand and tugging him closer. He brought his lips to Kris’ for a quick, tender kiss, and then leaned back to look at him expectantly.

“It _is_ Halloween,” Kris shrugged. “Go ahead. I don’t care. Just nothing that’s going to take me two hours to scrub off, okay? We do have school tomorrow.” Kris smiled and glanced at his watch with a sigh. “I’ve got to go. Lil won’t speak to me if I’m late and leave her with concessions by herself.”

“We’ll see you there,” Adam promised. He waited until Kris left before making his way backstage to the dressing room. Allison was digging through the make-up case, explaining what everything was to Maddie as she placed it on the counter. “Alright, ladies, what are we doing?” he asked.

Maddie and Allison were both quick to offer their suggestions. Adam listened patiently, tilting his head as he considered their ideas and formulated a plan. Then he set to work. While he did Maddie’s makeup, he let Allison pull her hair into a loose braid and settle the flower wreath on her head. It didn’t take them long to turn Maddie into a shimmering fairy princess, and when Adam finally let her look in the mirror, she just stared at herself for a minute with a huge smile on her face. “I look so pretty!” Maddie beamed at him.

Adam loved seeing her so happy. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and grinned at her. “Yes, you do, but you always look pretty. Are you ready to go show Daddy?” he asked as he started to pack away the supplies he’d used. Maddie nodded excitedly, and Allison laughed.

“Have fun, Maddie. You look beautiful,” Allison told her, giving her a quick hug, careful not to mess up her hair or make-up. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she told Adam, slipping on her jacket and fishing her keys out of her backpack. “Bye!”

“Bye,” Adam called after her. “Okay, Maddie. Let’s get your coat on, and then we’ll go.” Maddie frowned and shook her head, whining about not wanting to put it on. “You heard your dad,” Adam reminded her firmly. “You just have to wear it until you get to school.” She still pouted but let Adam slip the coat on her and zip it up.

~*~*~*~

The elementary school wasn’t very far, and it didn’t take them long to get there. By the time they did, the parking lot was nearly full, and it took Adam a few minutes to find an empty space. The temperature wasn't freezing but it was cold enough, and Adam carried Maddie, partly to protect her from the wind, but mostly so they wouldn’t have to be outside any longer than necessary. Once they made it past the foyer, it was warm inside the building.

Brooke was selling tickets at a table just outside the office along with a couple of teachers Adam didn’t know. She smiled when she saw them, greeting them and chatting with Maddie while Adam pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. Brooke took the ten he handed her and counted out tickets. There was a line forming behind them, so he thanked Brooke, and they moved on.

The hallway was crowded with kids and parents, and Adam held tightly to Maddie’s hand as they walked to the cafeteria. Adam paused just outside the double doors and leaned down to take off Maddie’s coat. He fixed her wings and draped the jacket over his arm with a smile. “Okay, let’s find your dad.”

Kris was at the end of the concession area, manning the drinks, while Lil handled the food and a third teacher took money. Adam caught Kris’ eye, and he waved them over, motioning for them to come around to where he was. “Hey, sweetheart. You look gorgeous,” Kris grinned, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. “I’ve still got half an hour before someone relieves me. If you guys want to wait…”

Maddie frowned, and Adam interrupted. “Why don’t I go ahead and take Maddie to play a few games, and we’ll meet you back here when you’re finished?” Adam waited for him to say something, hoping he wasn’t stepping on Kris’ toes. He was just trying to be helpful, and Maddie had far too much energy right now to sit still and wait for him.

Kris looked at him gratefully and nodded. “That would be great. Let me give you some money to buy tickets,” Kris said, reaching for his wallet. Adam put his hand on his arm to stop him.

“I already got them,” Adam told him. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll see you in a little bit. Come on, Maddie.” He led her away, glancing over his shoulder, but Kris was already hard at work, dealing with the line of people that had backed up while he had talked to them.

Adam took Maddie around to the different classrooms, a game set up in each one. She did pretty well throwing the darts at the balloons, not so well at tossing a ball into a series of buckets. She seemed to be having fun, and Adam had collected a bagful of trinkets by the time they went back to the cafeteria to wait for Kris. He sat down at a table with Maddie, looking through all the things she’d won so far. There were two pairs of fake vampire fangs, and she seemed particularly mystified by how they worked. “Here, let me show you,” Adam said, folding them and slipping them into his mouth. He smiled at her, and her eyes lit up as she giggled.

“What are you two doing?” Kris asked, sitting down next to them and raising his eyebrows. Adam glanced over at him and grinned, the teeth plainly visible. Kris laughed, then leaned against his shoulder. “Save those for later,” he whispered, and Adam almost choked on the plastic teeth, spitting them out as he coughed. Kris patted his back, looking at him with feigned innocence, and tried not to laugh.

Tamia came running over, grinning at them. “We’re going to the hay ride. Do you want to come?” she asked Maddie, who nodded excitedly and looked up at Kris as Lil joined them.

“Can I, Daddy? Please?” she begged. “I’ll wear my coat. I promise. _Please_?”

“I came prepared,” Lil told them, patting the blanket draped over her arm.

“Okay,“ Kris relented. “Are you sure you don’t mind?” Kris asked Lil, reaching for the tickets Adam had laid on the table and tearing off a few. Lil shook her head, smiling down at the girls, and took the tickets Kris handed her. He helped Maddie put her coat back on, and Adam watched as they walked to the back of the school, toward the bus loading area where the hay ride started. “God, I’m tired,” Kris muttered, propping his chin in his hand and glancing at Adam.

“It’s been a long day,” Adam nodded, “but Maddie’s had fun. We hit most of the games already. I don’t think there’s much left for her to do.”

“Megan’s supposed to be telling ghost stories,” Kris said, yawning as he nodded to a board next to the stage at the front of the cafeteria that said she’d be back in twenty minutes. “I’ve been listening, and they’re not that scary. I thought I’d let Maddie stay for that, and then we’d go. It’ll already be past her bedtime when we get home.”

Adam nodded, glancing up as a woman stopped at the table in front of them. “Mr. Allen?” she asked hesitantly. Kris looked wearily at her, pasting on a smile. This obviously wasn’t the first parent that had approached him tonight, and Adam had to bite back a smile. Every teacher he’d ever talked to agreed that dealing with parents was usually the hardest part of their job.

"Yes?" he answered.

“Hi. My son Logan is in Mrs. White’s class with your daughter,” she said softly. “I know she told you about what happened, and I just wanted to tell you that I’m very sorry. His father and I were so disappointed in Logan, and we’ve talked to him about it. I just wanted both of you to know that we took it seriously. It won’t happen again.”

Adam was silent as he watched Kris from the corner of his eye. “Thank you,” Kris said at last. “We appreciate that. Maddie’s fine, so I hope we can just put this all behind us and move on.” She gave them another apologetic smile and nodded, murmuring sorry one more time before she left.

"Can we get out of here for a minute?" Kris asked, glancing at the people around them. Adam nodded and followed Kris down the hall, away from the crowd and commotion. He wasn’t sure where they were going until Kris stopped at a classroom with ‘Band’ printed on the nameplate. A sign on the wall told him the kindergarten classes were down the hall, but there didn’t seem to be any other classrooms nearby. It was dark inside, one of the few classrooms apparently not being used for the festival. Probably because of all the expensive instruments and equipment, Adam guessed.

"Are you okay?" Adam asked once Kris had closed the door, only turning on the lights at the back of the room to avoid unwanted interruptions. "I mean, that was good, right? Her apologizing?"

"Yeah, of course it was," Kris sighed, raking his fingers through his hair as he sat on the edge of the podium in front of the band setup. "And I'm thankful that this time I'm dealing with parents who understand, but I'm not stupid, Adam. It's not always going to be that simple. I know what it's like. The looks, the whispers, _worse_. I want to protect Maddie from all of that."

"I know you do," Adam said, sitting beside him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He’d heard this all before, but Kris had never sounded so desperate. Adam felt helpless that there was nothing he could do to make it better, but he knew it must pale in comparison to how Kris felt. He couldn't fault Kris for wanting to protect her, even if it was unrealistic; it was parental instinct. "I don't know what to say,” Adam admitted, hugging him close. “I'm sorry."

Kris looked down at the floor and rubbed his eyes, shrugging and shaking his head. When he glanced up at Adam, he didn‘t look quite as upset as he had a few moments earlier. “You don’t have to say anything. Just being here and listening helps. Besides, I’m the one who should be apologizing,” he said quietly. “That woman obviously thought you were Maddie’s dad, and I let her. I should have corrected her, but…” Kris trailed off. “It was just easier this way.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Adam whispered. “That conversation was awkward enough without you trying to explain about us and Matt and everything.” Kris snorted and nodded. “It doesn’t bother me, Kris. In fact…I sort of like it.”

“Yeah?” Kris asked.

“Yeah,” Adam nodded with a smile. “I know I’m not her dad, but…I never thought I’d get to do all this parent stuff, you know? Halloween, school functions, all of that. I just assumed that was something I was never going to experience. I was okay with that. I didn‘t think I was missing very much, but…I was wrong.”

“It’s not something you have to miss out on,” Kris answered, turning his entire body toward Adam. “These last few months, you’ve been there when Matt or I couldn’t. You’ve acted like a parent, and you didn’t have to. I mean, you’ve done a lot more than just baby sit. You’ve worried about her and loved her, and…I am so thankful that Maddie and I have you in our lives. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Me, either,” Adam murmured. He leaned over and caught Kris' lips in a tender kiss. He‘d known going into this that it was going to be complicated, but it was worth it. Kris and Maddie were worth it. He rested his forehead against Kris’ and smiled. “Me, either.”


	19. Chapter 19

Kris stood at the foot of the bed, buttoning his shirt and watching Adam sleep as streams of sunlight started to filter in through the window. He sat down on the edge and nudged Adam gently, leaning over to brush a kiss across his cheek. "Adam," he said softly, drawing his name out longer than necessary. Adam sighed and turned his head, exposing the pale skin of his neck. Kris grinned and trailed his lips down, sucking lightly at his favorite spot just below Adam's ear. "Adam," he whispered again.

"Hmmm?" Adam murmured, smiling drowsily and blinking his eyes open. He frowned as he focused on Kris. "Why are you up?" he yawned, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s Saturday. It’s way too early to be awake.”

"I promised Maddie I'd cook breakfast this morning, and I'm out of eggs. I'm just going to run to the store on the corner and pick up a few things. Maddie's still asleep, if you'll keep an eye on her until I get back. I shouldn't be long," Kris said.

“That means you’re not coming back to bed, right?” Adam sighed, finally sitting up. “Fine. Go buy your eggs. Maddie and I will be okay,” he told him. Kris kissed his cheek again and climbed off the bed, patting his pocket to make sure he had his wallet.

He paused at the bedroom door and grinned. “I’ll be right back.” He gave him another smile, then made his way across the living room, grabbing his keys off the coffee table and his coat from the end of the couch. Kris locked the door behind him and took the stairs down to the ground floor. He quickly walked the two blocks to the store. It didn’t take him long to pick up what he needed and soon he was on his way back to the apartment, weighed down with two plastic shopping bags.

He was trying to juggle the bags to open the door to the building when he heard, “Here, let me get that,” and looked up to find Matt holding the door open for him. Kris was surprised to see him there. Matt had really been making an effort lately to call and not just show up at the apartment unannounced. It definitely made things less awkward.

“Thanks,” Kris said, slipping past him. “I thought you were going out of town,” he said as Matt followed him down the hall to the elevator. The doors opened quickly to Kris’ relief, and they stepped inside. “Could you…?” he asked, nodding to the buttons.

Matt reached out and hit the right number before leaning against the side of the elevator across from Kris. “I am, but Maddie left her folder in my car yesterday when I took her to the dentist, and I thought she might need it before I got back. You know, the one we have to sign?” he said, holding it up. Kris nodded, and Matt was silent for a second. “Where is Maddie?”

“I had to go to the store. She’s with Adam,” he said softly.

“He’s here awfully early,” Matt said with only a hint of resentment in his voice. “Unless…” he looked at Kris suddenly with a frown as if the idea had just occurred to him. “Unless he spent the night. Did he?”

“That’s really not any of your business, Matt,” Kris told him firmly.

“The hell it’s not. What you and Adam do is none of my business, but when it involves Maddie that makes it my concern. I knew he was spending a lot of time here, but I never thought you would actually let him stay while Maddie was there. Have you lost your mind?” Matt asked, staring at him. “What were you thinking?”

Kris hadn’t expected Matt to be happy about Adam spending the night, that was part of the reason he hadn’t told him yet, but he hadn’t expected him to be this upset. “You know I would never do anything to hurt Maddie, and I don’t see how Adam being here does. She likes him, and he likes her. If I thought it bothered her or confused her or _whatever_ you’re worried about, I wouldn’t let him stay.”

The elevator dinged and the metal doors slid open. Matt stepped off, turning to glare at Kris when he followed. Kris didn’t want to continue this conversation in the hall, but he wanted even less to have it in front of Adam and Maddie. “So…what? You just do whatever you want, and I’m supposed to go along with it? Is that how this works?” Matt asked, his voice low but angry. “We should have talked about this before you started inviting your boyfriend for sleepovers.”

“I…Yeah, okay,” Kris relented. He knew Matt had a point, as much as he hated to admit it, and if he had done something like this without talking to him, Kris would be upset. “Maybe I should have discussed it with you, but I can’t change that now. It’s not like I’m bringing a different guy home every night. And whether you like it or not, if Adam’s in my life, he’s going to be in Maddie’s, too.”

“I’ve tried to be understanding, Kris,” Matt told him wearily. “I know that she spends a lot of time with Adam, and I know that she _does_ like him. That’s why I haven’t said anything. And I hate it, but I know that there are times when you might need him to watch Maddie. But this…it’s just too much.” He shook his head and stared at Kris. “What if she walked in in the middle of the night? Huh?”

“And caught us what? _Sleeping_?” Kris asked incredulously. “Do you really think I’d be careless enough to let her walk in on anything else? Why do you assume that if Adam’s here we’re having sex?” Kris hissed, lowering his voice as a door opened down the hall. His neighbor gave them a curious look and opted for the stairs at the other end of the hall rather than the elevator. Kris took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm down. “I thought we weren’t going to fight anymore?”

Matt stared at him a second. “You are not going to make me the bad guy because I’m worried about my daughter. Do you really want her that attached to him if things don’t work out? You know what it was like for her when we split up. Do you want to put her through that again?”

Kris wasn’t sure how to answer that without making things worse. He settled for being honest even if he did hurt Matt. He’d tried not to upset him before and look where that had gotten him. “Of course I don’t. That’s why I’ve been taking this slow, but…but it’s starting to get serious now. Adam’s not going anywhere, and neither am I.”

“That sounds awfully familiar,” Matt said, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at the ground. “You don’t know, Kris. You don’t know what’s going to happen. We thought we were going to be together forever and that didn’t exactly work out, did it?” Matt finally looked at him again. He was still angry, but there was a mixture of hurt and resentment in his eyes as well.

“We were young,” Kris said, glancing away from Matt as he spoke. “We made a lot of mistakes, but I’m not going to make them again.” Matt’s phone rang before he could say anything else. Kris sighed as he answered it, waiting for Matt to hang up the phone.

“Yeah?” he asked roughly, glaring at Kris. “No, I’m on my way. I’ll meet you there.” He snapped his phone closed and frowned. Kris raised an eyebrow at him, already knowing what he was going to say. “I have to go,” Matt muttered.

“Now _that_ sounds familiar,” Kris said dryly. He shuffled the bags in his hands and grabbed Maddie‘s folder from Matt. “Thanks for bringing this. Now why don‘t you just go? It’s what you do best.”

“This isn’t over, Kris. Not by a long shot,” he said, reluctantly reaching out to press the elevator button. The doors slid open quickly, and Matt hesitated before stepping inside, still frowning. “We’ll talk about this when I get back.”

Kris shrugged but didn’t say anything as the doors closed again. He was so sick of fighting with Matt. He’d really thought they’d made some progress, but everytime they did something happened to push them back two steps. Kris had known that sooner or later Matt was going to find out Adam was spending the night. He should have discussed it with him, or at least _told_ him and not let him stumble across it like this. He had been completely blindsided, and Kris couldn’t blame Matt for being upset about that. However, being concerned about Maddie was one thing, but questioning his relationship with Adam, suggesting that it wouldn’t last, was something else entirely. Matt had overstepped a line.

Kris tucked the folder under his arm and fished his keys from his pocket, walking down the hall and letting himself in the apartment. Adam was sprawled on the couch, Maddie curled up in his lap, and they were watching cartoons. Kris smiled at them, trying to push his run-in with Matt out of his mind. “Good morning,” he said, leaning over the back of the sofa to kiss the top of Maddie’s head and peck Adam on the cheek. “Hungry?”

Maddie nodded but didn’t take her eyes off the TV. Adam chuckled and looked up at him. “I was starting to get worried. What took so long? You were gone awhile,” he said, his eyes searching Kris’ face.

“The store was just busy,” Kris shrugged. He really didn’t want to talk about Matt right now. He wanted to spend the day with Maddie and Adam and pretend like this morning had never happened. “I’m going to start breakfast.”

Kris carried the bags to the kitchen. He dropped Maddie’s folder on the kitchen table, then got what he needed from the groceries and put the rest away. Staying busy and focusing on the simple tasks involved in cooking helped put Matt out of his mind. He was cracking eggs into a pan when Adam joined him.

“Anything I can do to help?” he asked, leaning against the counter by the sink.

“I’ve got it under control,” Kris assured him, glancing at him with a smile. He turned his attention back to the stove, trying to ignore the nagging guilt he felt. It seemed wrong not to tell Adam about his argument with Matt, but Kris knew him well enough to know that if he thought he was adding to the tension between them, he would try to fix it. The last thing Kris wanted was for Adam to think that spending the night was causing problems and stop. It _was_ , but Adam didn’t need to know that. Besides, if it hadn’t been that, Matt would have found something else to complain about. The more he thought about it, the angrier Kris got, and he had to force himself to think about something else. “Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?”

“I thought I was visiting my mom, but she’s going to see my brother. She invited me to go with her, but…” Adam trailed off uncertainly. Kris turned his head to look at him and smiled when he saw the hesitation on Adam’s face. He moved the eggs off the burner and turned the stove off.

Kris reached out to the counter and covered Adam’s hand with his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Come with me,” he said softly. “It’ll just be my parents and Daniel, Maddie and me. What do you say?” He looked up at Adam hopefully, and Kris was surprised by how badly he wanted Adam to say yes.

“You don’t want to ask your parents first?” Adam questioned, biting his lip as he studied Kris’ face.

“My mother will be thrilled,” Kris assured him. “They want you to feel like you’re part of the family because, you know, you _are_. I’ll understand if you don’t want to, but it would mean a lot to me if you’d at least consider it.”

“I…okay,” Adam shrugged. “How can I say no to that?”

“Okay? You’ll go?” Kris asked, grinning as he leaned against Adam, stretching up to kiss his lips. He pulled away sooner than he wanted, reminding himself that Maddie was just in the next room. She seemed pretty engrossed in her cartoons, but Kris could never be sure when his luck would run out. “Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll go,” Adam told him. Kris hugged him and smiled when Adam’s arm encircled his waist to hold him close. Adam’s lips brushed across his temple, and Kris sighed happily, his argument with Matt all but forgotten for the meantime. “Thank you,” Adam murmured quietly.

Kris leaned back to look at him. “Thank _you_. It’ll be great. I promise you won’t regret it.”


	20. Chapter 20

Adam tried to pretend he was enjoying the football game that Kris, Daniel, and Neil were captivated by, but when Kim came to the den door and beckoned him, he was only too happy to have an excuse to leave. With all the talk about first downs and illegal formations and holding, they might as well have been speaking another language. He appreciated them trying to include him, but he was actually having more fun watching Maddie pretend to be a cheerleader, jumping around every time the guys cheered even though Adam was sure she had even less of an idea of what was going on than he did.

Kris caught his eye as he slipped past him, but Adam shook his head and motioned for him to stay. He could handle Kris’ mom for a few minutes on his own. It was strange in a way, even though they were almost complete opposites, Kim reminded him a lot of his mother. He had a feeling once they met they’d be fast friends. He followed her into the more formal living room; definitely not a place for watching football even though it was as comfortable and homey as the rest of the house.

“My boys like their football,” she said with a smile, settling on the sofa and waiting for Adam to sit beside her. He felt at ease with her and even though he was pretty sure he was about to be grilled, he really didn’t mind. “I get the impression you’re not much of a fan, which is perfect. It’ll give us a chance to talk.”

“I’d like that,” Adam told her honestly. Today could have been extremely awkward and uncomfortable, but everyone, especially Kim, had gone out of their way to make him feel at home. Adam hadn’t had many family gatherings, at least not like this, since his parents split up. Actually, he wasn’t sure that their family get-togethers had ever _really_ been like this, but it was nice to be a part of it.

“So, you’ve seen all of our Thanksgiving traditions,” Kim grinned. “What about you? How do you usually spend today?”

“My brother and I were planning to visit our mom but something came up, and he couldn’t make it. She decided to fly out to see him instead. She wanted me to go with her, but…” Adam trailed off uncertainly. He hadn’t told Kris why he'd turned down his mother’s invitation, she’d even offered to pay for his ticket, but Adam was pretty sure Kris knew anyway. Kim looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. “I miss them, but I wanted to be here.”

Kim was quiet for a minute as she looked at him. “I’m glad Kris has you,” she said at last, glancing down at her hands as she spoke. “This past year hasn’t been easy for him. It’s nice to see him happy again. You‘re good for him.” She smiled at him fondly, and Adam was overwhelmed by how completely he’d been accepted by Kris’ family.

“He’s good for me, too,” Adam answered softly with a shrug.

Kim cleared her throat and touched her thumb to the corner of her eye. “I think I need some coffee. Can I get you a cup? Or tea? Anything?” she asked.

“Tea would be nice. Thanks,” Adam told her. She nodded and assured him she’d be right back. Adam looked around the room once she was gone, his eyes drifting over the bookshelves along the wall, a vase of flowers on the end table. There was a line of picture frames on the mantle that caught his attention, and he walked across the room to take a closer look.

The first was a wedding picture of Kris’ parents. Adam smiled, lingering on it a moment before going to the next. It was a picture of the four of them at Kris’ college graduation. His parents were obviously proud, Kris was grinning, and Daniel looked a little bored. The next two were Kris and Daniel’s senior portraits which reaffirmed Adam’s belief that no one’s ever turned out well. He bit back a laugh and moved to the last picture, one of Maddie sitting on Santa’s lap.

“Like my pictures?” Kim asked, standing in the doorway with two steaming mugs in her hands. “Give me just a minute,” she said, setting the cups on the coffee table and walking across the room to the bookshelf. She searched the top shelf for a minute before she grabbed a photo album and brought it over with her. “You might like these,” she told him, settling back on the couch and flipping to the first page.

Adam sat down beside her, grinning as Kim showed him the baby pictures of Kris. As she turned the pages, Kris aged in front of his eyes. By the time they got to junior high, Adam was almost crying with laughter, Kim’s vivid stories of thirteen-year-old Kris only added to his amusement. “Oh, this was his first school dance,” she said, pointing to a picture of a sullen-looking Kris. “I tried to tell him he wouldn’t always think girls were ‘icky’. What did I know?”

They were laughing so hard that they didn’t even hear Kris enter the room until he cleared his throat. Adam looked up to see him standing there with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “What are you two doing?” His eyes darted down to the photo album opened between them, and he looked mortified. “Mother! I can’t believe you would…what did I ever do to you?” he complained, reaching for the book to take it away.

“Don’t blame her. It’s my fault,” Adam told him, holding on to it tightly. “Come on, Kris. Let me finish looking at the pictures. My mom’s got tons of embarrassing photos of me she can show you and, trust me, she‘ll be more than happy to,” he promised. He tugged the album hard, and Kris reluctantly let go of it.

“I should have known that leaving the two of you alone together was a bad idea,” Kris sighed, but he seemed more amused than angry. Daniel called to tell him the game was back on, and Kris gave them one last wary look before disappearing back to the den. When he was gone, Adam refocused his attention on the pictures.

They were almost to the end when Kim turned the page, and Adam found himself staring down at a picture of Kris and Matt. Matt was standing behind him, his arms wrapped tightly around Kris’ waist, his chin resting on his shoulder. They were holding hands, their fingers tangled together just within view, and smiling at the camera. Adam wasn’t expecting to see that, but even if he had, he was pretty sure he would still feel as though he’d been punched in the stomach.

“I didn’t know that was in there,” Kim said hurriedly, taking the photo album from him and closing it quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Adam shook his head. It shouldn’t bother him, seeing old pictures of Matt and Kris. He knew that was all in the past, but it was still difficult to see Kris that happy with someone else, someone who wasn‘t _him_. “It’s okay,” Adam murmured. “It’s not like I didn’t know about Matt. Really, Kim,” he said when she didn’t look convinced. “It’s fine.”

Maddie picked that moment to bound into the room. “Grandma! Adam! Uncle Daniel taught me a new cheer. Do you want to come see it?” she asked, tugging on her grandmother’s hand. “Please?”

“I’ll be right there,” Adam said. Kim gave his shoulder a squeeze as she stood up, offering him one last apologetic smile before letting Maddie pull her from the room. He could hear her excited chattering all the way down the hall. He knew he should join them, but he couldn’t seem to make his feet move or tear his eyes away from the photo album that lay on the coffee table. He reached out hesitantly, but dropped his hand back into his lap. There was no point in torturing himself with pictures of Kris and Matt.

“Hey,” Kris said softly, leaning against the doorframe, watching Adam curiously. “Mom seemed a little upset. Is everything okay? You two know I’m not really angry about the pictures, right?” He sat down beside Adam on the sofa in the spot his mother had just left. “Adam?”

“It’s nothing,” Adam shrugged. “Aren’t you missing the game?”

Kris frowned. “I don’t care about the game. I want to know what happened. I thought you and my mother were getting along. What changed?” Adam didn’t want to bring Matt up and look like a jealous boyfriend, but he knew how important it was to Kris that he got along with his family.

“Nothing,” Adam assured him, rubbing soothingly at the back of Kris’ neck. “Your mother is wonderful. She’s amazing. Your whole family is. I’m just glad you let me be a part of this. Thank you.”

Kris smiled and leaned in to kiss him quickly on the lips. “You’re welcome. Now tell me what happened.” Adam sighed and picked up the photo album, handing it to Kris. Kris looked at him questioningly, then flipped it open, going almost immediately to the picture in the back. “Oh,” he said as he stared down at it. He looked uncomfortable as he slowly raised his eyes to look at Adam. “Adam…”

“It was a long time ago, I know,” Adam said with a shrug. “I think your mom was afraid that she’d upset me. I tried to tell her it was okay, but then Maddie came in. I didn’t really have a chance. I’m not going to lie. It’s obviously not my favorite picture, but I wouldn’t change anything in your past. It’s made you who you are, and I _definitely_ don’t want to change that.”

“You know, it’s okay for it to bother you. I know things would be a lot easier if I could just make a clean break with Matt. You’ve been more understanding than I’ve had any right to expect,” Kris said softly.

“I love you,” Adam said simply. He hadn’t planned to say it, but he meant it and didn’t want to take it back. He glanced down at the floor with a wry smile, then turned his head slightly to risk a glance at Kris. “That kind of makes it all worth it.”

“Yeah, it does,” Kris grinned. His fingers brushed against Adam‘s neck, sending a shiver up his spine. He turned Adam‘s chin up with his thumb, forcing him to look him square in the face. “I love you, too.”

Adam didn’t think about Kris’ family down the hall as he pulled him in for another kiss, but then Kris didn’t seem to either. Adam wasn’t sure it would have made any difference if they had. At that moment, he _had_ to kiss him. Kris’ lips were soft under his, and he couldn’t stop smiling. Adam would handle the situation with Matt. He’d ignore him or try to be nice to him, whatever made things easier. It might be annoying to be constantly reminded of Kris’ past, but at the end of the day _he_ was the one who got to come home to Kris, not Matt. Nothing else really mattered.

An indignant cry echoed down the hall, and Adam pulled back an inch, laughing as he rested his forehead against Kris‘ shoulder. “You really are missing the game,” he said, looking up at him. “I’ll even go back and try to watch it with you.”

“We could,” Kris said slowly. “Or we could collect the tons of leftovers my mom is going to send with us and go home. I love my family, but I’d rather spend the rest of the day with you and Maddie.” Kris paused for a second and grinned. “Besides, we’re losing. _Badly_. I‘m not sure I can go back and watch that.” Another shout from Daniel punctuated his sentence, and Kris shrugged and raised his eyebrows. “I told you so.”

“Okay,” Adam agreed with a chuckle. “We can go. I just want to talk to your mom first, try to reassure her that everything’s fine. I don’t want her to think I’m upset when I’m not. I really do think she’s amazing.”

“I think the feeling’s mutual,” Kris told him, smiling as he leaned in to peck him quickly on the lips one more time. “And I think you’re both right.”


	21. Chapter 21

"So what are your plans today?" Adam asked as he slipped on his coat. He fixed the collar and looked at Kris expectantly, waiting for an answer. He was going to help Megan with her Christmas shopping. It was apparently a yearly ritual that Kris had no intention of disrupting or joining.

"Maddie's got a play date at Lil's, and I've got some errands to run," Kris shrugged. He still hadn't told Adam about his argument with Matt and that made it a little difficult to tell him exactly where he was going.

The only thing he and Matt still seemed to agree on was that they didn't want to argue in front of Maddie and since she was almost always with one of them, their communication recently had consisted mainly of glares and subtly sarcastic comments that went over her head. They couldn't go on like this; Kris knew that, which was why he'd agreed when Matt had asked him to come over today so they could talk.

"Sounds exciting," Adam said dryly. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us? You know Meg wouldn't mind. It could be fun," he said, tugging Kris closer and raising his eyebrows. "You'd probably be more help in picking out presents for Ryder than me anyway."

"You do _not_ want to go shopping with me," Kris assured him, running his hands over the soft fabric of Adam's jacket and shaking his head. "You and Megan have fun. I'll see you later," Kris told him, stretching up to give him a quick kiss. He tried to hold his guilt at bay, but it was difficult. He should have just told Adam about his last fight with Matt. In fact as soon as he got everything sorted today, assuming he did, he was going to do just that. He wasn’t going to start keeping things from Adam. That was the quickest way to mess everything up and that was the _last_ thing Kris wanted to do.

Adam glanced down at Kris’ watch, frowning. “I’ve got to go. Meg’s waiting, but we shouldn‘t be late. Have fun running your errands,” he teased, his eyes twinkling as he leaned in and kissed Kris again. With one last goodbye thrown casually over his shoulder, Adam disappeared out of the apartment, the door closing behind him with a click.

Kris took a deep breath once he was gone, trying to mentally prepare himself for what he had to do today. Matt was really angry at him and things hadn’t been this bad between them for a long time. Once they’d actually decided to go their separate ways, their split had been relatively amicable. It definitely hadn’t been as nasty as some of his friends’ divorces that he’d witnessed. They’d both been tired of the fighting, and it had been a relief to put it behind them. Now Kris hoped they could do that again.

“Maddie, are you ready?” Kris called, putting his jacket on and picking hers up from the arm of the sofa. “We need to go, sweetheart.” He crossed the room and pushed her door open, grinning when he found her sitting on the floor sorting through her dolls to find the ones she wanted to take with her. “Ready?”

She picked three up, clutching them to her chest as she stood up and nodded. “Yes. Can Tamia come over here and play sometime?” she asked. “I like going to her house, but I want her to come here, too.”

“I’m sure we can work something out,” Kris told her. “I’ll talk to her mother, okay? Maybe she can come over one day while you’re out of school. How does that sound?” Kris asked, taking the dolls and helping her put on her coat, zipping it up before handing the toys back to her.

“I’d like that,” Maddie grinned. Kris was glad that she and Tamia had become such fast friends. She was making friends now that she would have, hopefully, through high school and maybe the rest of her life. He couldn’t think of anyone better for her to share all of that with than Lil’s daughter.

After a stop to tie her shoes and another to pick up a doll she had dropped, Kris finally got Maddie in the car. It didn’t take long to drop her off at Lil’s and sooner than Kris would have liked, he was parking in front of Matt’s building. He hesitated just a second, steeling himself and then hurrying to the door before he could change his mind. Kris took the stairs up to the apartment, wanting to burn off some of his nervous energy so he wouldn’t fidget while talking to Matt. He wanted to appear calm and in control even if he wasn’t.

He knocked on the door firmly, three sharp taps that had barely faded to silence before Matt pulled the door open as if he’d been waiting. “Hey,” Kris said, shoving his hands in his coat pockets as he waited for Matt to invite him in. It was chilly in the hallway, but he wasn’t sure it would be much warmer inside, not with the way Matt looked at him.

“Come in,” he said stonily, finally moving out of the way and letting Kris pass. Kris tried to avoid his gaze as he unzipped his jacket, taking it off and throwing it over the back of a chair. “You’re late.”

“I had to drop Maddie off at Lil’s,” Kris explained, annoyed with Matt already. “Can we skip the small talk? I have to pick her up in a couple of hours, and I have a few errands I need to take care of, too. So whatever you wanted to talk about, can we just get on with it?”

Matt glared at him, but shrugged. “Fine,” he said, sitting down on the couch, close to the edge so he could turn to fix Kris with an unwavering stare as he sat next to him, far enough away that there was no risk of them accidentally bumping into each other. “I guess Adam’s still spending the night?”

“Yeah,” Kris answered. “And I’m not going to apologize for that. I want him there, _Maddie_ wants him there.” Matt scoffed and rolled his eyes, but Kris continued. “When he doesn’t stay, she asks about him. She wants to know _why_ he isn’t there. Does that sound like Maddie has any problem with Adam spending the night? He really cares about her, and I‘m not going to keep him away because you don‘t like him. Maddie deserves better than that.”

“He’s not her father,” Matt said angrily. “And I’m sorry if it interferes with your happy little family, but I’m not just going to let someone waltz in and take my place.”

“You shouldn’t,” Kris agreed. “And I understand why that bothers you, but you _should_ want her to be around people that care about her. Adam doesn’t want to be her father, but that doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t have any role in her life. Maybe it’ll take us awhile to figure out exactly what that should be, what we’re all comfortable with, but we all want what’s best for Maddie. We all agree that she comes first.”

“It just makes me uncomfortable for you to be spending the night with this guy when our daughter is in the next room. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, Kris,” Matt sighed tiredly. “I’m glad Adam is good to Maddie. I know the situation could be a lot worse, and I’m grateful it’s not but that doesn’t change the way I feel about it. This isn‘t about him, and it‘s not about you. It‘s about Maddie.”

“And if Adam and I decide to move in together? What then?” Kris asked.

Matt looked stunned, and he faltered for a second, seemingly caught off-guard by the sudden question. “Is it really that serious?” he asked at last, his brow furrowing as he stared at Kris. “You’re really planning on living with him?”

“I don’t know,” Kris shrugged, feeling slightly uncomfortable now that he‘d thrown that out there so glibly. “We haven’t talked about it, not seriously, but the way things are going…I think it’s something that we would consider. This isn’t some rebound fling.”

“You’ve only been seeing him a few months,” Matt countered doubtfully, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you think it’s a little soon to be thinking about this?”

“It’s been _seven_ months,” Kris said. “And I’m not saying it’s going to happen tomorrow, but…if I have anything to say about it, Adam’s going to be around a long time, and it would be a lot easier on everybody if you would accept that. I don’t expect you to be friends, but for Maddie’s sake you two could try to tolerate each other. We could make this work. I know I’m not blameless. I’ve kept things from you, trying to prevent a fight, and I’ve only made things worse. I can own up to that. So tell me what you want. What can I do to make this right?”

Matt was silent for a minute as he took in everything Kris had just said. Kris could tell he was trying to sort out his thoughts, so he stayed quiet, giving Matt the time he needed to think things through. “I want to feel like Maddie’s father,” he said at last. “I want my opinion to matter. I don’t want you to make decisions that affect her and then tell me about them after the fact. I’m willing to bet you and Adam talked about him staying over, so don’t you think we should have, too?”

“I do,” Kris admitted. “If I could go back and change the way I’ve handled things, I would because I have screwed up so many times I’ve lost count. I don’t always mean to exclude you, but sometimes it’s just easier than having to talk to you. I hate that, Matt. I hate the back and forth. One minute things are good and the next we’re not speaking. We can’t raise a child like that, so…I’m promising right now that I’ll make an effort to include you. I’ve gotten used to having to deal with the day-to-day problems on my own, but you’re right. When it comes to the big things, we have to decide together. We handled that problem at school pretty well,” Kris said, offering Matt a small smile.

“Yeah, we did, didn’t we?” Matt nodded. “I guess we still make an okay team when we put our minds to it. Alright, I’m willing to put the past behind us and move on if you are. There are probably still going to be times when I get upset,” Matt told him honestly.

“There are probably going to be times when I’m a thoughtless idiot,” Kris shrugged. “We’ll just have to do the best we can. That’s all we _can_ do.”

“There’s one more thing I want to talk to you about,” Matt said softly. “I know I’m taking Maddie with me over New Year’s to visit my mother, but…I don’t want to miss Christmas. I can’t imagine waking up that morning and not being with her. I don’t know what you have planned…”

“I don't,” Kris admitted. “Adam mentioned that he doesn’t really celebrate it, but we haven’t talked about what we're going to do. Let me discuss it with him, and I’m sure we can work something out. I know Maddie would want to spend Christmas with you, too.”

Last year, Matt had moved out a few months before Christmas. They were still trying to make it last, reluctant to give up on each other after so many years. Spending the day together had been the last thing they’d really done as a family before admitting that it just wasn’t going to work. Kris felt a wave of nostalgia wash over him, but then his memories turned to things besides presents and cocoa and Christmas carols. He didn’t want to think about Christmas _night_ , about falling into bed with Matt even though he knew it was a mistake. It had just given them false hope that they might still be able to salvage their relationship, although in reality it had been over a long time by then. Kris felt guilty remembering it now, and his cheeks flushed as he glanced away from Matt, trying to force the memories away.

Kris finally had to look up at Matt, and when he caught his eye, he knew Matt was remembering the same things. “I should go,” Kris said quickly. “I’ve got to pick Maddie up. I’ll talk to Adam and give you a call.” He stood up and grabbed his coat, slipping it back on, not bothering to zip it as he made his way to the door. “Bye, Matt.”

~*~*~*~

“We must have gone to every toy store in a fifty mile radius. If there’s anything specific for Maddie that you’re looking for, I’m pretty sure I can tell you where to get it,” Adam grinned, settling next to Kris on the bed. “I understand why Megan wants to do her shopping in person rather than online, that whole part of the experience and getting in the Christmas spirit and all of that, but…there’s a lot to be said for internet shopping. For starters, parking lots are not involved.”

Kris laughed and reached around to rub Adam’s shoulders. “And here I thought the biggest advantage was that you could shop in your underwear.” Adam groaned appreciatively and rolled his head forward.

“Remind me to hang around the next time you shop online,” he teased, sighing happily when Kris pressed a kiss against his back. “So how was your day?” he asked, shifting so that he could see Kris. “Take care of all your errands?”

“Yeah,” Kris nodded, catching his bottom lip between his teeth as he looked at Adam. “Actually…we need to talk.”

The smile faded from Adam’s face, and he raised an eyebrow. “That sounds ominous,” he said seriously, the easy banter between them disappearing as Kris looked down at his hands. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kris answered quickly. “I went to see Matt today.” Adam looked surprised, but he didn’t say anything, just waited patiently for Kris to continue. “We just had a lot of things we needed to talk about. After our last fight…”

“Wait, what?” Adam interrupted. “I thought everything was okay. When did you two have a fight?” He crossed his arms and looked expectantly at Kris. Kris knew he couldn’t turn back now, for better or worse, he just had to plow ahead and tell Adam everything.

“Before Thanksgiving,” Kris answered quietly, glancing away so he wouldn’t have to see the disbelief and hurt in Adam’s eyes. Kris had spent all day defending himself and his actions. He didn’t want to have to do that with Adam. He just wanted him to understand.

“And you’re just telling me about it now? Why?” Adam sounded confused, and Kris couldn’t really blame him. For the last few months, Adam had been the one he’d gone to when he’d had an argument with Matt. It didn‘t make sense for him to start holding back now. “I knew you hadn’t been talking as much, but…What did you fight about?”

“You,” Kris said, wincing at the expression on Adam’s face. He hurried on to try to explain. “Matt sort of found out you were spending the night before I could tell him. I mean with Maddie here. He got upset, and we argued about it.”

“Oh,” Adam answered. “Kris, I don’t want to cause any problems for you.”

“You’re not,” Kris told him. “That’s why I didn’t tell you, not until I had a chance to talk it through with Matt. I knew you’d try to be all noble, and I couldn’t stand the thought of you not being here at night. I’m willing to compromise on a lot of things to keep the peace with Matt, but that’s not one of them. Matt is not going to dictate this relationship. We talked it over and things are okay.”

Adam’s mouth turned up at the corner, but he still looked skeptical. “He was that angry about it, and then he just changed his mind? Decided it wasn’t a big deal? That doesn‘t seem a little odd to you?”

"What, you think Matt has some ulterior motive?" Kris asked doubtfully, his brow furrowing as he looked at him. Adam didn't say anything, and Kris stared at him, his mouth falling open slightly. "Seriously? God, Adam, I was _joking_ ," Kris said.

"I didn't say that. I don't know if he does or not, but..." Adam hesitated. "I do think he's still in love with you." The words were soft but firm, and even though Adam's admission caught Kris by surprise, it sounded as though he had given this a lot of thought.

"What?" Kris asked, his voice raising half an octave. "No. Matt's barely speaking to me, and that's on a _good_ day. He's not...there's no way he’s..." The words were too ridiculous for Kris to even utter. "You're wrong."

"I don't think so," Adam said calmly. "I've seen the way he looks at you, and I know what he gave up. If I were in his shoes, I would do whatever I had to do to get you back. I can't really blame him."

"Adam, you can't think that I would _ever_..." Kris started, but stopped short when Adam chuckled. He reached out to squeeze Kris’ shoulder, giving him a lopsided smile as he shook his head.

"Of course I don't. I trust you, but I'm not sure how much I trust Matt. I guess I just wish that you could see it for yourself. Ignoring Matt's feelings or denying them or whatever it is that you're doing, isn't going to make them go away," Adam sighed.

Kris frowned. "I'm not denying _anything_. It's just so absurd that I don't know what to say."

"Why?" Adam asked. "You and Matt were together for a really long time. You were obviously happy and thought it was going to last, at least at some point. Why is it so unbelievable that he might still be in love with you? Ending a relationship doesn't mean that all those feelings just go away."

"You think I don't know that? Look, you weren't there. You don't know how bad things got at the end or how relieved we _both_ were that it was over. Matt might have a lot of feelings about me, but I doubt any of them even remotely resemble love," Kris told him.

"Maybe you're right," Adam shrugged, but Kris could tell he didn't really believe that. He was just trying to avoid a fight. "You know Matt better than I do. If you think it's nothing, then fine. Whatever." Before Kris could say anything else, Adam leaned over and kissed him. "Goodnight."

"You're going to sleep? _Now_?" Kris asked, dismayed as Adam reached out to turn off the lamp and then burrowed beneath the covers. "That's it?"

Adam sighed and propped himself on his elbows, flipping the light back on and glancing up at Kris. "Well, according to you, there's nothing to talk about. Make up your mind, Kris. Do you want to talk or not?" He looked at him expectantly, obviously waiting for an answer.

"No, I don't think I do," Kris snapped. He pulled the blanket roughly and flopped back on the bed, facing away from Adam. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force himself to go to sleep, but despite his efforts, it eluded him. Adam tossed and turned restlessly next to him for awhile, but eventually his breathing evened out as he drifted to sleep.

Kris stared at the wall, watching the shadows play across the surface and missing the familiar warmth of Adam's arms around him. It was bound to be a long, sleepless night, giving him too much time to think about what Adam had said. He wrapped the covers a little tighter around him and wished that it was morning.


	22. Chapter 22

Adam added the last pancake to the stack on the plate next to the stove and picked it up, turning to find Kris leaning against the kitchen door, arms crossed and bottom lip caught between his teeth, watching him. “Hey,” Adam said uncertainly, offering Kris a weak smile as he set the plate on the table. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Kris echoed, not moving from where he was standing. “Did you sleep okay?” The words were innocent enough, but the edge to Kris’ voice and the way he raised his eyebrow at him let Adam know that this wasn’t going away that easily, not that he’d really expected it to. Kris was angry, and Adam was more than a little annoyed himself.

“Alright, I guess,” Adam shrugged. It was a lie. He’d lain awake for hours last night, resisting the urge to reach out for Kris. He’d gotten so used to falling asleep with Kris’ head resting on his chest or their fingers tangled together or his arm draped casually over Kris’ hip that the few inches between them last night might as well have been miles.

Kris stared at him a second before sitting down at the table with a sigh. “Well, I didn’t,” he said quietly. Adam sat down across from him, his eyes tracing the curve of the table as his fingers tapped anxiously against the surface. He finally looked up when Kris touched his hand, stilling it as he gripped it tightly. “I don’t want to fight.”

“I don’t either,” Adam told him. “I really don’t, Kris. I just wish you could see what’s so obvious to me. _We_ know where we stand, and I know that I don’t have anything to worry about. I meant it last night when I said I trust you. I know there’s nothing between you and Matt, at least not on your side. I just think I’d feel better if I thought Matt got that, too. I don‘t think any of us are going to be able to get on with our lives until he moves on.”

“He knows how serious we are,” Kris said. “Maybe he didn’t know before, but I really don’t think there’s any doubt left now. Even if Matt did still…” Kris shook his head, either unwilling or unable to say the words out loud. It frustrated Adam that Kris still refused to admit the possibility that Matt might still have feelings for him. “It doesn’t matter. I love _you_ ,” Kris said emphatically.

“I know,” Adam answered, his lips curving into a reluctant smile. “I know you do. I love you, too.”

The corner of Kris’ mouth tugged upward, but the expression on his face remained serious. “I know we’re not always going to agree and that we’re going to fight sometimes, but we can’t just ignore problems and hope they go away. I’ve tried that, and it doesn’t work. This thing with Matt’s been bothering you awhile, hasn’t it?”

“I guess it has,” Adam said with a shrug, not really wanting to admit it. “I know he’s always going to be around, and I don’t mind because I know how much Maddie loves him. He’s her father, and she deserves to spend as much time with him as she can. And if it was just that, it would be fine, but where do we draw the line between him being involved in Maddie’s life and intruding on _ours_?”

“This probably isn’t the best time to tell you that he wants to come over for Christmas,” Kris said softly. Adam raised his eyebrows, but bit back his annoyance, trying to keep his face blank as he waited for Kris to go on. “I told him I had to talk to you and decide what we were doing first.”

“What do you want to do?” Adam asked. Christmas really didn’t mean that much to him. His family had never celebrated and, honestly, he didn't really understand all the hype. He could appreciate the Christmas spirit, but he didn’t understand why it had to be limited to just one time a year. He knew it was important to Kris, though, and even if he hadn't said as much, Adam was sure that he had very specific expectations for the holidays.

"As long as I'm with you and Maddie, I don't care," Kris told him. "Part of me just wants to spend the day with the two of you and start our own traditions,” he said, making Adam smile. “But at the same time, Christmas _is_ about family. I don't want to keep Maddie and Matt apart. That doesn't seem right."

"It's your decision, Kris. I'll go along with whatever you decide," Adam said. He didn’t really want Matt around, but it wasn’t up to him. And it wasn’t like Kris was asking him to step aside; he just wanted to include Matt. It would be awkward, but Adam was willing to give it a try for Maddie.

“I don’t want it to be _my_ decision,” Kris told him.

“But it _is_ ,” Adam sighed. “It’s your apartment. Your ex. Your daughter. I can’t tell you what to do. If you want to invite Matt, fine. If you don’t, I won’t be heartbroken, but _you_ have to decide.”

“This isn’t just about me,” Kris objected. “It affects you and Maddie and _us_. I don’t want to do anything that’s going to hurt you, but I have to think about Maddie, too. So much has changed in the last year, and she’s really adjusted well to all of it, but…it just feels like I’m taking something else away from her. I hate that.”

The last thing Adam wanted was for Kris to feel as though he had to choose between him and Maddie, and not just because Adam knew _exactly_ where he would come out in that. If Kris didn’t put Maddie first, if he didn’t care so much and try so hard to be a good father, he wouldn’t be the man Adam had fallen in love with. “Kris, you don’t…” The kitchen door swung open, interrupting him, and he glanced past Kris as Maddie padded into the room.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Kris grinned as Maddie climbed up in the chair across from him. His eyes flickered up to meet Adam’s. They hadn’t resolved anything, but the conversation was over for now. “Are you hungry? Adam made pancakes.”

Adam watched as Kris fixed hers for her, cutting them into little triangles before drizzling syrup over them. He might not have always realized it, but this was all he ever wanted. He knew this now with a certainty that surprised even him. He _wanted_ weekend breakfasts and family vacations, holidays and school functions. And whatever he had to do to hold onto that was worth it.

~*~*~*~

“Okay, I know Christmas vacation started today, but you guys get through this rehearsal and you don’t have to see me for two whole weeks,” Adam called as his cast assembled on stage. “We’re going straight through, no stops. If anything goes wrong, you just keep going. Think of it as a dress rehearsal without costumes.”

Adam knew he was being optimistic to think they’d get through the entire show without having some major problems, but he really wanted to give it a try before they went on break. The show had come together remarkably well, but they still hadn’t done it from beginning to end yet.

He had thrown himself into the play the last few days as a distraction from his problems with Kris. He knew the kids were getting annoyed with him and how critical he had been this week, but he couldn’t help it. Kris still hadn’t made a decision about Matt, and the longer this went on, the more tense things were between them. He wanted Kris to decide, one way or the other, and stick to it. Having everything up in the air was starting to drive him insane.

“Okay, Dave, whenever you’re ready,” Adam called, climbing off the stage and walking out into the audience to take a seat. He was surprised to see David Archuleta a few rows back and joined him, wondering when he had slipped in past him. “Hey, Archie. How's it going, man? Missed us so much you just couldn't stay away, huh?"

“Yeah,” he nodded with a grin. “It feels weird to be back, though.”

Adam knew exactly what he was talking about. The first time he’d gone back to his high school after graduating had been bizarre. It was strange to see everything continuing on without him and new students taking his place. He’d only been gone a few months, but the kids looked younger, the hallways seemed smaller, and the teachers were far less intimidating. It had been nice to see old friends again, but the trip had left Adam feeling unsettled and ready to return to his new life, happily leaving the past behind him.

“How’s school?” Adam asked. “Your classes okay?”

“It’s great,” Archie shrugged. “Just…different. It’s kind of a blow to go from being a lead to just hoping you make the chorus, you know?” Adam nodded because he did know. Archie had been the most talented guy in the theater department while he was there, but now he was in college and competing against people who had been the best at _their_ schools. Adam was confident it wouldn’t take him long to make his mark, but it could be frustrating in the meantime.

“It’ll get better,” Adam assured him. “You’ve got to pay your dues, do the grunt work, but it’ll pay off. You’ll have the lead before you know it.”

Archie smiled at him gratefully and focused his attention on the stage. The first number had ended, and most of the cast was on stage now. “How’s Alli doing?” Archie whispered, leaning slightly to ask his question, but never taking his eyes from the stage. “She’s nervous about this part.”

Adam had already sensed that, but he didn’t understand why. Allison was doing a terrific job balancing the strength and vulnerability that made Mary Magdalene such a fascinating character. Anyone could just sing the notes, but she brought much more to the role. Adam had always known she was talented, but she was really impressing him with her performance. “She’s amazing,” Adam told him, motioning to the stage with a shrug. Archie could see for himself how well she was doing.

“I knew she was being overdramatic,” Archie grinned, “but when she asked me to come to rehearsal so I could critique her performance, I couldn’t really say no.”

Adam raised an eyebrow at that. “So you came to see Alli?” he asked, crossing his arms and looking at Archie expectantly. He’d always thought there might be more between those two than just friendship, but they were so different it had seemed almost implausible. Besides, he tried to stay out of his students’ personal lives, but Archie wasn’t a student anymore, and Allison was, well, _Allison_. “Hmmm?”

“Yes,” Archie answered, ducking his head as Adam continued to stare at him. When he finally looked up at him, he was smiling. “She asked me to go to the prom with her. Well, _told_ me I was going, really. Just as friends,” he clarified, when Adam gave him a surprised look.

“Yeah, but in six months you’ll be at college together,” Adam pointed out. “Anything could happen.”

“She’s decided?” Archie asked. Adam winced as he realized he’d spoiled Allison’s news. She’d bounded into his office that morning, waving her acceptance letter at him and grinning from ear to ear. “I didn’t even know she’d applied for early decision.”

“I probably wasn’t supposed to say anything,” Adam sighed. “Don’t tell her I told you. Just act surprised, okay?”

Archie laughed and nodded, assuring Adam he wouldn’t ruin the surprise. They turned their attention back to the stage, both knowing they would have to give a detailed critique when it was all over. To Adam’s relief, the rehearsal went well. It wasn’t perfect. There were missed entrances and forgotten lyrics, and some of the choreography definitely needed work, but all things considered, Adam was happy. He’d felt bad for taking out his frustrations on them, but it was clearly paying off.

Allison and Archie left as soon as rehearsal ended, but there were always a few stragglers. Adam was trying to send them all on their way without seeming like he was throwing them out when his phone buzzed with a text from Kris. He glanced at the screen, reading the words quickly. _Running late. See you at 7:30?_

He replied telling Kris that was fine, then gave up trying to be polite with his kids. “Alright, let’s go, people! Five minutes!” Adam called, leaving the auditorium to lock his office. A couple of kids followed him down the hall, calling goodbye as they made their way to the parking lot. He went back to check the stage and turn off the lights, finally leaving when he was satisfied everyone was gone.

Adam drove slowly to the restaurant where he was meeting Kris for dinner, and when he got there, Kris’ car was already in the parking lot. He knew that they would finally have to have to discussion they’d been avoiding all week, and Adam wasn’t looking forward to it. He was almost sure he knew what Kris was going to do, and while Adam couldn’t blame him, it definitely wasn’t the way he’d wanted things to turn out.

He found Kris at a secluded table in the back, looking over the menu. “Hey,” Adam said softly, leaning over to kiss his cheek before settling in across from him. “Sorry, I’m late.”

“I just got here,” Kris shrugged. “How was rehearsal?”

“Good,” Adam told him. “Really good.” Kris smiled at him before going back to his menu. They were quiet as they looked over their choices, but it didn’t take long for the waiter to take their order and rid them of that welcomed distraction. “So,” Adam said, laughing when Kris started talking at the same time. “Go ahead.”

“I talked to Matt when I dropped Maddie off,” Kris said. Adam bit his bottom lip nervously as he waited for Kris to go on. “I told him if he wanted to see Maddie on Christmas Day, I’d drop her off at his apartment that afternoon, but I didn’t think it was a good idea for him to come over.”

“Really?” Adam asked, reeling a little from Kris’ words. He hadn’t expected that. He should have been happy, or at least relieved, with the way this had turned out, but he couldn’t. He knew it had been a difficult decision for Kris, and even though he didn’t want Matt there, he fully understood why Kris did. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Kris nodded. “I think this is what I need to do. For me, for us, for Maddie. I think it would just confuse her if Matt was there. I don’t want to do that. She can spend the morning with us, and then go to Matt’s after we have lunch with my parents. It’s time to draw a line with Matt. You were right. Being involved in Maddie’s life doesn’t mean he has to be involved in ours.”

“I would have understood if you’d wanted Matt to be there.”

“I know you would have,” Kris said. “That’s why I couldn’t do it. You have been so amazing about everything, and it’s not fair to ask you to give any more. It’s my turn. I don’t want you to doubt how important you are to me. There might not always be alternatives with Matt, but _this_ time there is. It may not be a perfect solution, but it’ll do. We get our first Christmas together without any…intrusions, and Maddie and Matt get to see each other. I can’t really ask for anything more.”

“I love you,” Adam whispered, unable to find any other words that did justice to what he was feeling right now. Kris smiled at him, his first real smile since Adam had joined him, one that reached his eyes and made them twinkle even in the dim lighting. He reached across the table and took both of Adam’s hands in his, glancing down at their entwined fingers as he played with one of the rings Adam wore on his right hand.

“I love you, too.”


	23. Chapter 23

“You sound better,” Kris said into the phone, putting the leftovers from his and Maddie’s dinner in the fridge. Adam had been sick for the last few days. Nothing serious, just a cold, but he’d refused to come anywhere near the apartment since he didn‘t want Kris or Maddie to catch whatever he had. He’d reluctantly let Kris bring him soup and cough medicine yesterday, but only because Kris had insisted. Even then he’d met him at the door, barely cracking it enough for Kris to slip the bag through to him.

Kris missed him. They’d talked every day, or as much as they could with coughs wracking Adam’s body every few minutes, but it wasn’t the same. He hadn’t realized how much he’d taken Adam’s presence for granted. During the day it wasn’t so bad because he had Maddie to distract him, but nights seemed almost unbearably long without him there.

“I _feel_ better,” Adam said, his voice still a little hoarse. “I’m just tired. I don’t know how that’s possible. I haven’t done anything but sleep all day.” A tiny yawn slipped out as Adam finished his sentence making Kris smile even though he knew that meant it was time to let Adam go.

“Get some rest, and I’ll see you in the morning,” Kris told him. He ignored Adam’s weak objections and hung up the phone. He could have stayed on the line with him all night but tomorrow was going to be a busy day, and he didn’t want to keep Adam from the sleep he obviously needed.

Kris quietly pushed open the door to Maddie’s room, checking to make sure she was still asleep before going to his bedroom and lugging out a stack of presents he’d wrapped last night. He carried them to the living room and put them under the tree, sitting back on his knees and just taking in the scene for a minute.

He and Maddie had gone through their Christmas Eve ritual; they’d put out cookies for Santa and read “The Night Before Christmas” like they always did, but Kris couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed. He’d wanted to do all of that with Adam this year, maybe even start a few new traditions that were all their own. They’d have tomorrow, though, and Kris would just have to be satisfied with that.

A soft knock at the door interrupted his musings, and Kris climbed to his feet to answer it. “Hey, Matt,” he said opening the door. Matt looked a little winded and was leaning against the doorframe with one arm. Kris glanced down at the box in front of him and grinned. “You got it!”

“That thing is heavier than it looks,” Matt finally managed, giving it a shove forward. Kris grabbed the end closest to him and helped Matt maneuver it into the room “She’s going to love it, isn’t she?” he asked once they’d gotten it to the middle of the living room floor.

Kris knelt beside the box and nodded. The only gift Maddie had gone on and on about, and the only gift he and Matt had trouble finding, had been a doll house for her Barbie’s. “What exactly do you think they mean by ‘some assembly required’?” he asked Matt as he skimmed the information on the outside of the box.

“I think it means we better get started,” Matt sighed, joining Kris on the floor and tearing into the box as quietly as he could. Kris hesitated a second. It wasn’t a good idea to let Matt stay, especially knowing the way Adam felt about him.

“I’m sure I can handle it, Matt,” Kris said quietly. Matt didn’t look at him, just stared down at his hands and the pieces of pink plastic he was holding, turning them over absently as he bit his bottom lip.

“I can’t be here tomorrow. At least let me do this,” Matt told him, finally raising his eyes to Kris’. “I don’t want to miss _everything_. Pretty soon she’s going to be too old for doll houses. Please, Kris.”

Kris looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, unable to meet Matt’s gaze. He might regret it, but he couldn‘t ignore the pleading in his voice. “Well, come on. We’ve got a dream house to put together,” he said at last. Matt grinned as he glanced at him and went to work laying out the pieces, trying to match them up with the instructions. Kris focused on reading the directions, trying not to second guess his decision. He only hoped Adam would understand why he’d had to do this.

There were easily over a hundred pieces, and even following the guide it took them awhile to get started. At times it was definitely a two person job, and Kris was grateful that Matt had volunteered to help. He was much better at this sort of thing since he dealt with blueprints and schematics on a daily basis. The diagrams in the instructions weren’t as complicated as that, but Kris probably would have given up on them after fifteen minutes and just guessed where everything went.

They worked mostly in silence, and an hour later they sat back and surveyed their handiwork, sharing a satisfied smile that the toy in front of them looked nearly identical to the one on the box. “I think I could have built a real house quicker than that,” Matt said, trying out one of the doors to make sure it opened and closed right.

Kris laughed and reached up to the end table, setting the plate of cookies Maddie had left out for Santa between them. “Have a cookie. You’ve earned it,” he grinned, biting the head off of a snowman. Kris chewed thoughtfully as he watched Matt nibble on a reindeer. “I’m glad you stayed,” he said after a couple of minutes. “It would have taken me all night to do that by myself.”

“I’m glad you let me help,” Matt answered with a shrug. He took another bite of cookie, and then laughed, covering his mouth and swallowing. “Remember you forgot to eat the cookies last year? I got here, and you were trying to explain to Maddie why Santa hadn’t eaten them. She was heartbroken. I thought she was going to cry.”

“Sort of like when the tooth fairy forgot to visit?” he asked, grinning when Matt winced. Kris stretched his arms in front of him, biting back a yawn and still chuckling. “I’m not sure how you talked your way out of _that_ one.”

“Me, either, but it cost me ten bucks,” Matt sighed, reaching for another cookie.

Kris was surprised that he was actually enjoying himself. There wasn’t any of the awkwardness or tension that had been almost palpable between them lately. If anything, it felt like Freshman year before they’d started dating, sharing a pizza a two a.m. while cramming for midterms. It was…uncomplicated. Kris knew that couldn’t last, but it was nice while it did.

“Kim’s cookies are amazing,” Matt murmured, closing his eyes and savoring the last bite. “I could eat a whole plate of them. They are so good. You don’t have any of the chocolate chip, do you?”

“Maddie took care of those pretty quickly,” Kris said, shaking his head. “I’m sure my mom has some left. I’ll bring them to you tomorrow.” Matt nodded but didn’t say anything. This was the first time in seven years that Matt wouldn’t be at his parents’ house for Christmas. Kris hadn’t asked him what he was going to do instead. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, not if Matt was going to be by himself while he was with Maddie and Adam and the rest of his family.

"This Christmas hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be," Matt said softly, picking absently at the crumbs left on the plate, not looking at Kris. "I mean, it's not like last year, but..."

"Last year was a mistake," Kris said flatly, staring straight ahead at the twinkling lights on the tree. He could see Matt from the corner of his eye and the slight motion as he shifted closer. Kris tried not to flinch as Matt's fingers brushed against his shoulder, creeping upward until they touched the back of his neck.

" _I_ don't think so," Matt told him. There was hesitation in his voice, but also a determination that Kris was all too familiar with. "I think the mistake was giving up and not making this work. The _mistake_ was not fighting for us, but you're not the only one who's learned his lesson." Matt leaned closer, so close that Kris could feel his breath on the side of his face. Kris closed his eyes and swallowed hard as Matt's forehead rested against his temple. "I never stopped loving you...and I never will," he whispered.

"Stop before you say something you regret," Kris mumbled, trying to wrap his head around Matt‘s admission. He’d never _really_ thought that Adam was right and had never imagined that he’d actually have to deal with this. If he hadn’t heard the words straight from Matt, he probably still wouldn’t believe it.

Matt moved back and looked at him. "No, this is something I need to say. If I don’t, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I have enough regrets, I’m not adding any more. When we broke up, I really didn't think it would last. I thought it would be like before. We'd take some time apart and then we'd realize how stupid we were being. I didn't count on you meeting someone else."

"Neither did I," Kris admitted reluctantly. "But I did. I love him, Matt. I didn't realize that being with someone could be that easy, not when it's always been so difficult for us. It shouldn't be that hard. It shouldn't be such a _struggle_ to be together."

"It wasn‘t all bad," Matt muttered, turning away from him. "I know we had problems, but so does everyone. They don’t all just give up and walk away. Is it really that easy for you to throw away everything we had for some guy you barely know? We were the three musketeers. We could have our family back, Kris.”

"No, we can't," Kris said vehemently, shaking his head. "Look, maybe you think that's what you want, but it wouldn't last. We tried. We did everything we could to make this work. You act like Adam is this big hurdle keeping us apart, but he's not. Even if I hadn't met him, we still wouldn't be together."

“If we’d just tried a little harder…” Matt started again.

“We would have just drawn it out and put off the inevitable,” Kris interrupted. “I care about you, Matt. You’re a fantastic dad to Maddie, and I’m glad you’re still in my life. I don’t regret being with you or starting a family with you,” he said reaching out tentatively to squeeze Matt’s knee. “But I…I just don’t feel that way about you anymore.”

Matt was quiet for a minute. “If I’d known how things would turn out, I would have never walked out that door. I would have stayed and fought for us and our family. It’s not like I _wanted_ to leave. I was just trying to give you what I thought you needed,” Matt said, his voice mildly accusing. “It was hard, but I thought it would be worth it in the end. Then Christmas came, and it was more than I could have hoped for. God, Kris, waking up next to you in _our_ bed…that was the happiest I’d been in months. I thought everything was finally starting to work out. It wasn’t a mistake. You certainly didn’t think so then. Not while you were holding onto me and begging me to…”

“Stop it,” Kris hissed angrily, pushing himself off the floor and glaring down at Matt before stalking into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and took a couple of deep breaths, gripping the edge tightly and focusing on the pain as it dug into his palms. He didn’t have to turn around to know that Matt was standing in the doorway watching him.

“I kept waiting for you to realize what a mistake you were making,” Matt said quietly when Kris didn‘t say anything. “I still loved you and thought that actually _meant_ something, but you and Adam just seemed to get closer and closer. First the HIV test, then talking about living together and every time something like that happened it felt like being punched in the stomach. Do you know how hard it was waiting and watching you slip a little further away every day? You and Maddie are my life, Kris.”

“I thought this was what you wanted, too. I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t know how to make it any clearer,” he said finally facing Matt. “I’m sorry if I hurt you, and I’m sorry if I did _anything_ to make you think that there was a chance of us being together again. If I did, I never meant to. I’m in love with Adam, and I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with him. He’s more than my boyfriend. He’s my best friend and my family. Aside from Maddie, he’s the most important person in my life. He‘s already put up with a lot more from me than he should have to.”

Matt stared at him a second, a brief flash of pain crossing his face before it became unreadable again. “I should go,” he said at last. He hesitated a second as if expecting, or maybe hoping, Kris would stop him, but he didn’t.

“Yeah,” Kris nodded. “I think you should. Goodbye, Matt.”

~*~*~*~

Kris blinked his eyes open, rubbing at them with his hands as he sat up on the edge of the couch. He’d tried to sleep in his bed last night, but without Adam there and Matt’s words reverberating in his head, the bed had just seemed too big and too empty. He’d finally fallen asleep on the sofa watching a marathon of _A Christmas Story_ on TBS. He yawned and rolled his neck, wincing at how sore he was from crashing on the couch.

There was a soft knock at the door, and Kris grinned, stumbling to the door still half asleep and unlocking it. Adam was barely in the apartment before Kris threw his arms around him, holding onto him tightly. “Do you feel better?” he murmured against Adam’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Adam nodded, bringing his hand up to cup Kris’ face, looking down at him, amused and a tad perplexed. “Even better now that I’m here. I missed you.” Adam’s voice was still a little rough, giving him a low, sexy timbre that made Kris’ breath hitch. Adam dipped his head to kiss him, but Kris held his hand up quickly to stop him.

Kris ran his tongue over his teeth and frowned. “I’ll be right back. Hold that thought.” He wasn’t gone long, and when he came back, Adam was stretched out on the sofa. Kris grinned and curled up next to him. “Let’s try that again,” he said, stretching up to press his lips to Adam’s. It was nice just being close to Adam again, being able to reach out and touch him. Adam’s arm circled his waist, and he held him tight. “I missed you, too.”

Adam pulled back a few inches to look at him. “Is everything okay?” he asked quietly.

Kris knew he was going to have to tell Adam about what had happened last night, but it wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have on Christmas morning, especially when Maddie could wake up at any minute and interrupt them. They would have some time alone this afternoon, and they could talk then. “Fine,” Kris assured him. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

Adam smiled at him, but didn’t say anything. They both looked up as Maddie’s bedroom door creaked open, and she peeked out, beaming when she saw Adam. She ran across the room, ignoring the presents for a minute much to Kris’ surprise, and climbed on the couch, crawling over him to Adam. Kris knew Maddie had missed him, but seeing them together still tugged at his heart. “Merry Christmas,” Adam laughed as Maddie hugged him.

Kris reached out to brush her hair out of her face. “Are you ready to see what Santa brought?” he asked, grinning as she nodded excitedly. She scrambled off the sofa and ran to the tree. She finally saw the doll house, and her eyes lit up as she squealed and plopped down in front of it.

“I told you Santa would bring it, Daddy,” she told Kris, moving forward to examine the second floor. Adam gave his hand a squeeze and smiled. Kris nodded to where she was and stood up, tugging Adam along with him. They joined Maddie on the floor, sitting side by side, leaning against each other as they watched her tear into the pile of presents. Adam’s arm slipped around his shoulders, and Kris grinned up at him.

There was a slight nagging at the back of his mind, wondering where Matt was and what he was doing, but Kris tried not to think about it and just focused on being here with Maddie and Adam. He loved how excited Maddie was as she opened her gifts, giving each one her undivided attention before carefully laying it aside and moving on to the next.

When she was finished, there was wrapping paper all over the living room and boxes and bags scattered across the floor. Kris left Adam supervising the clean up while he went to the kitchen to make breakfast. French toast was their traditional Christmas morning meal, and it didn’t take long to make enough for the three of them. They settled back in the living room by the tree to eat. Maddie ate quickly, ready to play with her new toys, but Kris and Adam took their time, talking quietly and watching her with amusement while they finished eating.

Kris would have been content to stay there all day, but his parents were expecting them a little before noon. Adam volunteered to help Maddie take all her new things to her room while he showered and got dressed, and Kris quickly took him up on the offer. Twenty minutes later, he found them in Maddie’s room where she was trying to decide between her new red snowflake dress and green candy cane dress. He leaned against the door, grinning as he listened to Adam discussing it seriously with her. “Which one is it going to be?” Kris asked at last, startling them. He was enjoying the debate, but it was getting late.

“This,” Maddie said, holding out the red one. She glanced at Adam for approval, and he grinned and gave her a thumbs up. “This one,” she repeated with a little more certainty and handing it to Kris.

“Okay, let’s get you ready to go.”

~*~*~*~

“Finally,” Kris sighed, dropping onto the bed and pulling Adam down with him. Adam laughed against his lips and shifted into a more comfortable position, still holding Kris close. Kris just wanted to savor being in Adam’s arms again. It had only been a few days, but it felt like weeks since they‘d really spent any time alone together. It had been torture spending all day with him but having to maintain a little propriety with Maddie and his parents around.

They’d dropped Maddie off at Matt’s and things had been as strained and awkward as Kris thought they would be. Matt had barely even glanced at him, ushering Maddie into his apartment and closing the door with the promise of bringing her to Kris in a few hours.

“You’ve been kind of quiet since we left your parents’ house. Are you sure nothing’s bothering you?” Adam asked, his hand rubbing absently up and down Kris’ back. Kris tilted his head, looking into Adam’s concerned eyes and sighing. Reluctantly, he untangled himself from Adam and sat up on the edge of the bed. Adam rested his hand on one shoulder and his chin on the other. “What’s wrong?”

“You were right,” Kris answered softly, reaching up to cover Adam’s hand with his.

“About?” Adam asked. “I’m right a lot. You’re gonna have to be more specific,” he teased, growing serious when Kris didn’t laugh. Adam moved so that he could see Kris‘ face. “Just tell me.”

“About Matt. You were right about Matt,” Kris said at last. “I’m sorry, Adam. I should have listened to you. I shouldn’t have written it off. I just didn’t think there was any way that he…”

“What happened?” Adam whispered. He had tensed at Kris’ words, but he was still holding onto him, maybe even a little bit tighter now. Kris turned his head and caught Adam’s lips in a slow kiss, drawing it out and pouring all of his frustration into it until Adam finally pushed him away. “Kris?”

“He brought the doll house over last night, and I let him stay to help me put it together. I shouldn’t have. It was a bad idea, and I never would have done it if I’d known…” Adam hushed him and pressed a kiss to his temple, murmuring for him to go on. “He started talking about what a mistake it had been for us to break up…about how much he wanted us to be a family again.”

“Is that what you want?” Adam asked, his voice catching. “I know you love me, Kris, but is there even a tiny part of you that wants that back? If I wasn’t in the picture, and Matt had told you all of that…where would you be right now? Would you give it another try?” Kris knew it had been difficult for Adam to ask those questions, and he deserved honest answers.

“I don’t love him anymore,” Kris said. “There’s no part of me that wants to _be_ with Matt, but I don’t know. If things were different, I might…for Maddie. She’s the reason I held on as long as I did. Being a single parent isn‘t easy.”

Adam stared at the floor, but didn’t say anything for a minute. “I don’t want to feel like you could all be one big happy family if it weren’t for me. I don’t want to be the reason that…”

“You’re not,” Kris interrupted. “You know, I look at my parents, and I can see how much they love each other. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t ups and downs, but when it gets rough, they know they can depend on each other. I want Maddie to grow up with that kind of love around her.” Kris took Adam’s hand and threaded their fingers together, squeezing it gently as he raised the back of Adam’s hand to his lips. “I can’t ask for more than to raise her with someone that I love and respect and who I know would do _anything_ for her. I know that’s asking a lot from you, but…”

Kris didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, not with Adam’s mouth pressed to his, his tongue slipping past Kris’ parted lips, licking and caressing and nipping as he maneuvered them back onto the mattress. “You could never ask too much of me,” Adam told him. “Never.”

Kris rested his head on a pillow and smiled up at him. “What would you have done if I’d said yes? Would you really have just stepped aside?” Kris asked skeptically. Adam frowned and shrugged, his fingers toying with the buttons on Kris’ shirt.

“I might have tried, but I don’t think I would have succeeded. You and Maddie mean too much to me. I could never give you up without a fight,” Adam said.

“Good answer,” Kris said softly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I love you. You know that, right? Matt’s my past, but you’re my future. I don’t want anyone but you.” Adam buried his face against Kris’ neck, breathing in deeply, his lips brushing a spot just above his collar.

“Love you, too,” Adam murmured as he slowly unbuttoned Kris’ shirt, leaving a trail of kisses over every inch of skin he exposed. Kris sighed happily, reveling in the sensation of Adam’s wet lips on his flushed skin and gasping out loud as his teeth scraped over a nipple before drawing it soothingly into his mouth.

Adam moved back, letting Kris sit up enough to pull his shirt all the way off, and leaned across the bed to open the nightstand drawer. He dropped the lube on the bed, and then reached back in, glancing at Kris quizzically as he pulled out a tiny box wrapped in shiny green paper. “What’s this?”

“I was going to give it to you this morning, but things got so hectic, I guess I forgot,” Kris said. “Go ahead. Open it,” he urged, resting against Adam’s shoulder.

“We said no gifts,” Adam reminded him. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“You've given me more than you know,” Kris told him. “It’s not much, I promise. It certainly didn’t break the bank, but if you don’t want it, you can’t take it back. Sorry. No returns, and it’s not refundable.” Kris bit his bottom lip anxiously, nudging Adam into action with his elbow.

Adam tore the paper off and lifted the lid of the box, pulling out a single silver key. He looked confused as he raised his eyes to meet Kris’. “Key to your heart?” he asked with a grin.

Kris laughed and shook his head. “Even I’m not that sappy. Besides, you’ve already got that. _This_ ,” he said, plucking it from between Adam’s fingers and holding it up, “is even better. It’s a key to the apartment. You spend so much time here anyway, you should be able to come and go whenever you want.”

“Are you asking me to move in?” Adam asked curiously, smiling as he wrapped an arm around Kris’ waist and pulled him to him.

“No,” Kris told him softly, and it made his heart hurt to see the way Adam’s smile faltered as he nodded. Kris touched his cheek and made Adam look at him. “This place is part of my past, and I love it here, but when we decide to take that step, whether it’s next week or a year from now, I want us to start fresh with a home of our own. Somewhere that’s completely _ours_. But in the meantime, I want you to use that key as much as you want. Deal?”

“Deal,” Adam nodded.

Kris grinned and laid the key on the nightstand with a quiet clink. “Good,” he said, lying back on the bed and pulling Adam down with him. “Now where were we?”


	24. Chapter 24

Adam took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He wasn't at all sure that this was a good idea, and even though he'd talked himself into it earlier, now he was feeling more and more like he should just turn around and leave. He steeled himself and pulled the door to the building open, taking the stairs up before he could change his mind.

He walked down the hall slowly, checking the numbers on the doors until he found the right one. He knocked quickly and took a step back, waiting impatiently for the door to open. He could hear rustling on the other side and, finally, just when Adam had almost given up, the door opened.

Matt looked out at him apprehensively. "What are you doing here?" he asked, holding tightly to the door and not opening it any further than necessary. Adam didn't blame him for being wary. He wasn't exactly sure why he was here, either. He just knew that sooner or later, he and Matt were going to have to talk, without Kris, and settle some things.

"Can I come in?" Adam asked, trying to keep his voice calm and not automatically get defensive. He wasn’t here to start a fight, and if he let Matt rattle him, this could all go horribly wrong.

For a second, he thought Matt was going to refuse and slam the door in his face, but then he reluctantly stepped aside and let Adam in. "I thought you'd show up here eventually," Matt told him. "I'm kind of surprised it took you this long."

"Yeah, well..." Adam shrugged as he sat down on the sofa. "I really hoped I wouldn't have to."

Matt sat down in the chair across from the couch, staring at Adam just long enough to make him feel more uncomfortable than he already did. "He told you about Christmas Eve," Matt said at last. It wasn't a question, but Adam nodded anyway.

"Yeah, he did," Adam said softly. He was angry about what Matt had done, but he could understand it. If there was anything he understood it was being in love with Kris. In fact, he almost felt bad for Matt. Kris was the most amazing guy Adam had ever met, and he could only imagine how difficult it was for Matt to watch him move on and be happy with someone else. Not that, for even one _second_ , that excused his behavior or made it okay.

“So this is the part where you stake your claim and tell me to back off, right?” Matt asked, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair, his expression caught somewhere between a glare and a smirk.

"No,” Adam said shaking his head. “I don’t have to do that. I trust Kris, and I know I don't have anything to worry about. I just want _you_ to understand that I'm not going anywhere. I know you’d like nothing more than for me to just quietly go away and let things go back to the way they were, but that's not going to happen.”

“Fine,” Matt muttered. “You and Kris go play house all you want, but I’m Maddie’s father and nothing you do is going to change that. That’s a bond you can try to imitate, but it’ll never be the same. The three of us were a family before you came along and, whether Kris and I are together or not, we always will be. And I just want _you_ to understand that.”

“I’m not trying to replace you. I would never want to interfere with your relationship with Maddie. I care about her, but she doesn’t need another dad. She already has two that would move mountains for her. I just…I just want to be there,” Adam told Matt honestly. “I’m not trying to take any of that away from you. I know that must be how it feels, but…”

"You don't know _anything_ about how I feel," Matt said angrily, "So don't pretend that you do or that you care. Look, Kris has made his choice perfectly clear, so congratulations. You win."

"I didn't realize it was a competition," Adam told him quietly. "I know you don't like me. I don't blame you. If I were in your shoes, I probably wouldn't like me either, but this has been hard for Kris, and if you think he hasn't struggled with the decisions he's made then you don't know him as well as you think you do. If you want to hate me, fine, but don't take it out on Kris."

Matt stared down at the floor for a minute before looking up at Adam again. "I think you've made your point, so if you don't have anything else to say..." He paused briefly, but when Adam didn't say anything, he climbed from his chair and started across the room.

Adam frowned and followed him. This could have gone much worse, but it hadn't gone as well as he'd wanted. He just hoped some of what he said had gotten through to Matt, and he hadn't made things worse.

Matt opened the door and waited impatiently for him to leave. Adam turned in the doorway to face him. "Thanks for hearing me out," he said. Matt shrugged but didn't say anything, refusing to look at Adam. “Okay…bye.”

Adam took the stairs back down and climbed into his car. He may not have made any progress with Matt, but he’d said what he needed to say. It was up to Matt what he did with that. Adam wasn’t relieved, exactly, but he felt better than if he’d done nothing.

He made a quick stop by his apartment before heading back to Kris'. He hoped Kris wouldn't be mad when he told him where he'd been. Adam hadn't told him ahead of time because he was pretty sure Kris would have tried to talk him out of it. He could understand why Kris wouldn't want him to talk to Matt, but it was something that Adam strongly felt he needed to do. Just waiting for things to get better wasn't getting them anywhere.

Adam was still trying to decide the best way to bring up his visit with Matt when he parked in front of the building next the Kris' car. Maddie was with Kris, though, so that would buy him a little more time before they had to have a serious conversation.

Adam paused outside of Kris' apartment, hand poised ready to knock before he remembered the key in his pocket. He still hadn't gotten used to using it, but it gave him a slight thrill every time he did. He fished his keys out and unlocked the door, knocking on it lightly as he pushed it open. "Kris?" he called, closing it quietly and slipping off his jacket.

"Down here," Kris answered, suddenly appearing from behind the sofa. He grinned up at Adam and held up a half-full box of Christmas ornaments. "I've got to get this tree down before we go back to school, or it'll be up until February...again."

"Want some help?" Adam offered, joining him on the floor. Kris nodded, and Adam reached out, untangling an ornament from the lights and handing it to Kris, who carefully packed it away. "Where's Maddie?" he asked, snaking his hand through the prickly branches to reach a snowman near the trunk.

"My dad came by, and she wanted to go with him. I think he bribed her with the promise of ice cream when I wasn't looking," Kris said with a smile. "We got another invite for dinner, if you're interested."

"Are you kidding? Like I'd really pass up your mother's cooking," Adam scoffed. He stopped fussing with the tree for a second and turned to look at Kris. “Wait, are you telling me we’ve got the rest of the afternoon by ourselves, and we’re doing _this_?” he said, motioning to the tree.

Kris laughed and shifted a little closer, settling between Adam’s legs and leaning against his chest, sighing happily when Adam wrapped his arms around him. “Do you have a better idea?” he asked, tilting his head back to look up at him.

“I’m sure I could come up with something,” Adam said, his hand slipping down Kris’ stomach and dipping teasingly beneath the waist of the sweatpants he was wearing before sliding back up under his t-shirt. Kris relaxed against him as Adam stroked the skin just below his belly button.

“So did you take care of your super secret errand?” Kris said, his arms covering Adam’s as he toyed absently with the sleeve of Adam’s shirt. He’d known the question was coming sooner or later, especially when he’d been so vague this morning, but Adam still frowned as he considered his answer.

“It’s not a secret,” Adam said at last. “I just don’t want you to be mad at me.”

Kris shifted in his arms to glance at him. His eyebrows were knitted together and the smile had faded from his face. “Why don’t you tell me what you did, and then I’ll decide if I’m mad, okay?” Kris told him, turning so that he was on his knees in front of him. Adam hesitated a second, and Kris raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“I went to talk to Matt,” Adam answered softly.

Kris’ eyes widened slightly, and he seemed at a loss for words. “ _Why?_ ” he finally asked. “Why would you do that? Adam, you know you don’t have anything to worry about, so… _why_?”

“I know I don’t,” Adam said, taking Kris’ hand and feeling relieved when he didn’t pull it away. “And I told Matt that, but I wanted him to know that _he_ doesn’t have anything to worry about, either. I’m not trying to take his place, especially not with Maddie. You telling him is one thing, but that’s something he needed to hear from me.”

“So how did it go?” Kris sighed, biting his bottom lip nervously as he waited for Adam to answer.

“Okay,” Adam shrugged. “I don’t think Matt and I are ever going to be friends, but…it went okay. Are you mad at me?” He searched Kris’ face for any hint of anger, but if he was upset, he hid it well.

“For going to talk to Matt behind my back? That’d be a little hypocritical of me, wouldn’t it?” Kris asked. He leaned forward, his hands resting on Adam‘s shoulders, and kissed him quickly on the lips. “I’m not mad, but Matt’s my problem, not yours. I love that you care enough about me and Maddie to want to take that on, but you don’t have to. I can handle Matt.”

“I know you can,” Adam said wrapping his arms around Kris’ waist and tugging him a little closer. “But that doesn’t mean you have to do it by yourself. It’s going to cause problems as long as Matt sees me as a threat. I’m not, and I’m the only one who can prove that to him.”

“Just tell me what you’re planning next time, alright? I mean, if we’re going to be in this together then no secrets. Okay?” Kris asked. “That goes for me, too.”

Instead of answering, Adam caught his lips in a slow kiss, laying back against the carpet and bringing Kris with him. Kris laughed, his forehead touching Adam’s as he grinned down at him. Kris rolled to the side, curling up next to him, his fingers absently caressing the side of Adam’s neck as they lay on the floor.

Adam wasn’t sure how much time passed, he tended to lose track when he was with Kris. There was something he wanted to talk to Kris about, had wanted to for awhile now, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Kris’ “no secrets” speech had given him the push he needed. Adam reached up to touch the back of Kris’ head, stroking lightly as his fingers tangled in his hair. “Kris?”

“Yeah?” he murmured softly, not raising his head from where it rested on Adam’s chest. Adam didn’t have to see him to know exactly what he looked like right now; his eyes half-closed with drowsiness and a lingering smile on his lips. Kris was happy, content, and Adam didn’t want to say or do anything that was going to jeopardize that.

He hesitated a second, almost backing out, then took a deep breath and spit it out. “Have you ever thought about having more kids?”

Kris tensed immediately in his arms. “ _What?_ ” he asked at last, untangling himself from Adam and sitting up to look down at him. “Where did that come from?” Adam tried to read the expression on Kris’ face, but he couldn’t. He sighed and sat up next to him.

“I don’t know,” Adam shrugged, not looking at him. “It’s just something I’ve been thinking about. I didn’t mean to spring it on you like that. I’m sorry.”

“No,” Kris said, glancing at him with a small smile. “I always wanted a big family, but when everything fell apart with Matt, I guess I just gave up on all of that. It didn’t seem possible anymore. It’s a big step, a big responsibility. It certainly wasn’t something I could do on my own.”

“What if you didn’t have to?” Adam asked. “I’m not saying it’s something we have to do right away. I’d just kind of like to know it’s an option. I don’t want to rush into anything. It’s just…I think being a parent is something I want, eventually, and I just need to know how you feel about that.”

“I think you’d be a great dad,” Kris told him quietly. “You’re wonderful with Maddie and Ryder. All the kids you know adore you. I’d be lucky to raise a child with you. I think it’s something we definitely need to talk about some more. But yes, _yes_ , it‘s absolutely an option.”

Adam grinned and hugged Kris tightly, relief washing over him as he held Kris close. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if Kris hadn’t been open to the idea, but he didn’t have to worry about that now. Now he knew that when the time came, _if_ they decided to take that step, it would be one they took together.


	25. Chapter 25

Kris couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the couch where Adam was sitting with Ryder and Maddie. He was supposed to be grading tests, but with the three of them giggling quietly a few feet away, he wasn't getting much done. He could go to the kitchen, but he didn't want to leave. He was enjoying watching them too much.

For probably the millionth time since he brought up the subject of kids, Kris thought what a great dad Adam would be. He always had time to play with Maddie or read to her or listen to her chatter incessantly about something that happened at school. And if he was busy, he _made_ time. That meant more to Kris than he could explain.

Realistically, Kris knew it was a little soon to even be contemplating adopting, but in his heart he knew it was something he wanted, something he wanted with _Adam_. He wanted to make that commitment, to have that bond with him, and the fact that Adam had brought it up first, that it was something he'd been thinking about, left Kris with a feeling he couldn't describe. They had talked about it a couple of times in the last few weeks, and they both agreed that finding a place together and getting settled had to be their first step. Then they could seriously start considering what they wanted to do next.

Adam caught Kris watching them and grinned. "Are we distracting you?" he asked, managing to look at least a little guilty.

Kris stood up, leaving the papers he was working on spread across the floor, and joined them on the couch. "Yeah, but it's a welcomed distraction," he said pulling Maddie into his lap and tickling her lightly. He kissed the top of her head, smiling at Adam when their eyes met.

A quiet knock at the door broke the moment. “That must be your mommy,” Adam said to Ryder, climbing off the couch and carrying him across the room. He checked the peephole and opened the door to Megan, moving out of the way to let her pass. “Come on in.”

“I’d love to, but we’ve got to go,” Megan said as Ryder reached out for her. She took him from Adam and balanced him on her hip with practiced ease. “Hey, buddy,” she grinned, touching the tip of Ryder‘s nose with her finger. “Thanks again for babysitting, Adam. You’re a lifesaver.”

“No problem. Anytime,” Adam said sincerely, and Kris knew he really meant it. He wasn’t just saying that or being nice because Megan was his friend. He enjoyed watching Ryder; it certainly wasn’t any hardship on his part.

“I’ll talk to you later. See you tomorrow, Kris. Bye, Maddie!” she called to them with a wave. Adam waited at the door until she made it to the elevator, then called bye one more time before closing the door and sitting back down with Kris and Maddie.

“Did you have fun with Ryder?” Kris asked as Maddie curled up in his lap. It was getting close to her bedtime and, as always, she was trying to fight the sleep tugging at her. She nodded and looked up at him with round eyes.

“I didn’t want him to leave,” she said quietly. “I wish I had a brother.”

Kris had definitely not been expecting that. He raised his eyes to glance at Adam, who was sitting on the other end of the couch with his hand covering his mouth, trying not to laugh. “Okay, it’s time for bed,” Kris said quickly. “Go brush your teeth and change into your pajamas. Now,” he added, when she started to whine about not being sleepy.

Reluctantly Maddie climbed off the sofa and ran to her room. Adam slid a little closer to him and wrapped an arm around Kris’ shoulders. “Looks like it’s unanimous,” he said softly, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile. “I know you’ve been worried about how Maddie would react if we decide to do this.”

“She’d be a great big sister, wouldn’t she?” Kris asked at last. Adam nodded but didn’t say anything. “Okay. Will you read her story? I’ve still got to call Matt about this weekend.” Things had been weird between them and Matt the last couple of weeks. Not as tense as it had been, but strange as they all tried to find their footing with new expectations and boundaries in place.

“Sure,” Adam agreed. “I’ll pick a long one.” He started to stand up, then sat back down and leaned in to kiss Kris on the cheek. “Good luck.”

While Adam checked on Maddie, Kris went to his room, closing the door quietly behind him and picking up the phone before sitting on the edge of the bed. He dialed Matt’s number, counting three rings before he finally picked up. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Matt said uncertainly. “Is Maddie okay?”

“She’s fine,” Kris assured him quickly. “I’m actually calling about this weekend. I know Maddie’s supposed to be with you, but I was wondering if we could switch?” Kris hesitated, knowing he had to explain but afraid that might hurt his chances of getting Matt to agree. “Adam’s mom is going to be in town.”

Matt was quiet for a minute. “I was actually going to ask you the same thing,” he finally answered. “I, um, I have a date.”

“Oh,” Kris said surprised. “Good. I mean, so if that’s okay with you we’ll just switch this weekend and next weekend?” He waited for Matt’s answer, unable to believe how easy this had been. He’d been dreading this call since Adam had told him earlier in the week that his mother was visiting.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Matt told him.

Kris hesitated awkwardly. “So…anyone I know?” he asked, silently cursing himself for even asking. He shouldn’t care what Matt did, and he didn’t, but…there was still a part of him that wanted to know.

“No,” Matt answered. “There’s this new guy at work, and…I’m sorry. It’s just too weird to talk about this with you. I just can’t do it. Not yet. I’ll call Maddie over the weekend, okay?” Matt hung up before Kris could do much more than mutter okay.

Kris stared down at the phone in his hand for a second. He wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about this. Kris shook his head, determined not to think about it right now. He put the phone back on the receiver and went to Maddie’s room, smiling as he watched Adam finish the book he was reading. “One more?” she asked, looking up pleadingly at Adam.

Kris could see him start to weaken and stepped in. “Nope, you’ve got school tomorrow. Lights out,” Kris told her, crossing the room so that he could kiss her forehead and tuck her in. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Night, Daddy. Night, Adam,” she murmured, making Kris smile as he reached over to turn off her lamp. He followed Adam out of her room and pulled the door closed gently.

“How did it go?” Adam asked as they settled back on the couch. Kris knew that he really wanted his mother to meet Maddie, and he’d been as nervous as Kris that Matt would somehow get in the way.

“Matt was fine with switching. He actually _wanted_ to,” Kris shrugged. “He has a date.”

“Really?” Adam said, sounding as shocked as Kris had felt. Kris didn’t look at him, but he could feel Adam’s eyes on him, watching him carefully. Adam was quiet for a second before he whispered, “Are you okay with that?”

Kris looked at Adam sharply. “Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, hating how defensive he sounded. Kris took a deep breath and sighed. “I don’t know. I guess it just took me by surprise. I want Matt to be happy. He deserves that. It‘s time for us all to move on. This is good. Matt dating again is good.”

“Who are you trying convince?” Adam asked softly, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “I know this complicates things even more. I wouldn’t blame you if you were a little uneasy about it. You don’t have to pretend that everything’s fine, not for me.”

“I’m going to worry about Maddie and how it’ll affect her. I’m her father; that’s what I do,” Kris told him. “But I’m not going to treat it like a problem unless it becomes one. This is the best thing that could happen. For all of us.”

Adam nodded thoughtfully. “Want some help finishing those tests?” he asked at last. Kris grinned, glad that Adam wasn’t going to keep pressing the issue. Kris meant what he said, and he was tired of talking about Matt. It felt like they’d spent half of their relationship discussing him, and Kris was ready to put that behind them.

“I think the tests can wait until tomorrow,” Kris said. “I’m ready to go to bed.”

“It’s only 8:30,” Adam pointed out. “You can’t possibly be tired.”

Kris sighed and stood up, tugging Adam to his feet. He wrapped his arms around his waist and smirked up at him. “I said I was ready to go to bed. I didn‘t say anything about going to sleep,” Kris told him. “But if you’d rather grade tests…”

Adam silenced him with a kiss. Kris relaxed into the embrace, any lingering tension melting away as Adam’s lips moved over his. Nothing in his life had ever felt this right before. When he was in Adam’s arms, everything else just fell into place. This was where he wanted to be, where he belonged. This was home.

 **Epilogue (4 months later)**

Kris made his way through the crowd in the cafeteria looking for his parents and Adam. He’d dropped Maddie off with Brooke and the rest of her class while they had gone to find seats. He hadn’t expected a kindergarten graduation to be quite this crowded. He wished briefly that he’d had time to find his camera, but it was still packed away in one of the boxes scattered around the new house. It didn’t matter. His mother would take enough pictures for both of them.

Frowning, Kris scanned the audience again, relieved when Adam stood up and waved to him from near the back of the room. Kris smiled politely, nodding and greeting a few parents and colleagues as he made his way through the maze of people to reach Adam.

“Is Maddie okay?” Adam asked as Kris took the empty seat between him and his mother. She’d been excited all week but when they got to the school, and she saw all the people, she hadn’t wanted to let go of Kris. Adam’s quick pep talk had worked wonders, and it reminded Kris just how terrific Adam was at his job.

Kris nodded. “She’s fine. She was with Tamia when I left. Lil‘s still with them. She said she‘d keep an eye on her.”

“So,” said Kim, touching his arm and drawing his attention away from Adam for a minute. “Adam tells us the two of you are meeting with Ryan next week. Why didn’t you say anything?” she whispered. “I swear if it weren’t for Adam I wouldn’t know anything that was going on. I mean, why should you tell me? I’m just your mother.” She tried to sound put out and annoyed, but she was practically beaming at him.

“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think we were telling anyone yet,” he said, shooting a quick look at Adam, who just shrugged helplessly. Leaving his mother and Adam together was _always_ a bad idea. “Besides, we’re just going to talk to him and figure out our options.”

Ryan Seacrest was one of the top adoption attorneys in the state, and his advice and experience had been invaluable during Maddie’s adoption. Kris didn’t have any doubts about using him again, and Ryan had been eager to arrange a meeting when Kris called him last week. He and Adam weren’t in any rush, but Kris knew how long and complicated the process could be. Now that they’d decided they definitely wanted more kids, there didn’t seem to be any reason to wait any longer.

“I’m so proud of you. Both of you,” Kim said softly, her gaze sweeping to include Adam. “And Adam? You need to call your mother and tell her. I don't know how long I can keep this to myself." Kris had hoped that his parents and Adam's would get along, but he hadn't counted on the fast friendship that had sprung up between his mother and Leila. Kris guessed they had a couple of days at best before she was on the phone filling Adam's mother in on their plans.

"We're happy for you, and if there's anything we can do to help, just say the word," Neil said, reaching behind his wife to pat Kris' shoulder. "We'll support you however we can."

Kris knew that he and Adam were doing the right thing, but he also knew that it wasn't going to be easy. It was nice knowing that his parents, and Adam's, too, given the chance, would be there if they needed them. "Thanks, Dad."

He glanced back at Adam with a smile. His gaze drifted past him to find Matt and his new boyfriend making their way toward them. Kris genuinely liked Anoop and, being in similar situations, he and Adam had hit it off right away. His presence had gone a long way in easing the lingering animosity between Matt and Adam, and Kris was grateful for that.

It was still strange at times seeing Matt with someone else and hearing Maddie talk about daddy's new friend. Kris knew he was getting a taste of what Matt had gone through when he'd started seeing Adam, so he bit his tongue, as difficult as it was, and tried not to overreact. He didn’t always succeed, but Adam was usually around to keep him sane.

Matt and Anoop settled into two empty seats behind them, and Kris watched, feeling amazed at how far they’d all come, as Matt leaned forward and introduced Anoop to Kris’ parents. Adam reached over to squeeze his knee, and Kris smiled and glanced at him, saying more with one look than he could ever manage with words.

They weren’t the most conventional family and things had a tendency to get crazy and complicated, but Kris wouldn’t change anything. His life might not have turned out exactly the way he’d planned, but that was okay because it had turned out _better_. For a long time, he’d looked at his breakup with Matt as an ending and that had made it difficult to let go and move on. But now as he and Adam started their life together and made plans to expand their family, he could see it for what it really was - a beginning.

 _-The End_


End file.
